My Life in Mental Chains
Excerpt Five
Memoir
Written by Ruth J. Hartman
 

One early summer day, I received not one, but two miracles. My depression had been nearly unbearable. I didn’t leave my house unless I absolutely had to. I was wandering aimlessly around from room to room. Nothing held my focus. I couldn’t seem to conjure up interest in even the smallest task.

In the center of our kitchen, we had a small wooden table. On the table was an African violet plant that was alive, but just barely. I’d never had anything even resembling a green thumb, so the poor plant was doomed from day one. I’d had it for years, and it had never bloomed once. I thought it was probably on its last leg, or leaf, ready to die at a moment’s notice. As I walked by the table, I saw a tiny glimmer of lavender. It couldn’t be. I peered closer to the plant. A bloom! After all these years. That tiny little bloom lifted my spirits, at least for a moment.

That same morning, I stood staring out the window that’s built into our kitchen door. I’m not entirely sure how long I just stood in that spot. I stared outside, but didn’t really see anything out of the ordinary. My eyes were drawn to our large, pink, flowering bush. It stood just a few feet outside of the kitchen. As I looked at it, a bright red cardinal flew past my line of vision, and landed on one of the branches. I smiled inwardly. Seeing a cardinal always gave me a little lift. The bird hopped around, but didn’t leave its branch.

I was just about to turn away from the window, when a flash of blue caught my eye. A large blue jay flew past me and landed in the same bush. The cardinal stayed where it was. This was surprising, because both birds can be extremely territorial. The two birds just sat there, content in each other’s company.

I was enjoying this sight, these two beautiful birds right in front of me. I was ready again, to turn away from the window, but something made me wait. I continued to watch the big bush. I saw a flash of yellow. Then a gorgeous yellow goldfinch landed in that very same bush. The red cardinal, the blue jay, and the yellow goldfinch, looked like a rainbow of luminous feathers. I couldn’t believe it! I had never seen anything like this before. And I had been a bird watcher for several years. Now, there was no way I was turning away from the window. I waited to see if anything could top what I was already witnessing. Although, I couldn’t imagine what that would be.

I wasn’t disappointed. As I continued to watch the cardinal, blue jay, and goldfinch that were still there, I noticed movement under the adjoining bush. My eyes grew large as I watched a red-tailed hawk hop out from under the adjoining evergreen bush with a mouse caught in its talons. I was stunned. The large bird took a couple of hops on the ground. Then, one by one, in reverse order, the birds began to fly away. As the last one, the cardinal, flew away, it occurred to me that I was the only person on this whole earth who had just witnessed that amazing sight. Only me. I knew at that moment that it had been a gift from God. He was with me. He would see me through all of this, no matter how long it took. I have retold this wonderful experience several times over the years. It seems to help others who need a lift.
 
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