General Murphy’s funeral was afforded all the pomp and circumstance the
military could offer. Terry and Dino attended along with a crowd far larger than even the man’s retirement party. Retirement … well, now the General was really retired. The church service was formal and long, Catholic, laced with elegant ritual and solemn prayer, kneeling and standing and sitting and listening to the word of God. And when it was over, Terry followed the long procession from the beautiful St. Patrick’s Cathedral, walking slowly not far behind the casket carried by men wearing various dress uniforms from various branches of the arms forces and various nations.

Terry found himself again pondering mortality. Wondering about how it worked for men like him and his strange brothers, for Dino and Antony and Pullo. Stephen Maturin didn’t concern him in the least. The good doctor was the only man in the medical profession Terry ever met who truly believed in the Kingdom of Heaven and life after death. Terry couldn’t quite say he had that kind of faith. Wasn’t sure it mattered in his case anyway. After all, what kinda heaven could exist for the likes of him?

That moment, Terry decided that he would not go to the burial; remembering the General being lowered into the ground wasn’t something he wanted floating in his precarious psyche. He quickly slipped to the side and caught up with the widow Murphy just outside the massive cathedral doors.

Reaching out her hand she smiled sadly. “You must be Terry Thorne,” she said, her eyes searching his and he nodded. “Thank you for being here.”

“My deepest sympathy, Mrs. Murphy. I’m glad to have gotten a moment to say that. Unfortunately, I’m on my way to the airport.” How many times had he used those words in his life, to get out of something he didn’t want to do, to leave things he didn’t want to leave … to simply step away from discomfort? But Terry was sure he couldn’t face the grave scene.

“Oh yes, of course, your vacation. Charlie told me about it.”

“How do you know Charlie?”

“He’s my nephew, Mr. Thorne.”

“Ah,” Terry mused. “It is a small world, isn’t it?”

“He and the General talked often about you. My husband thought very highly of you, you know. He was sure you’d find your way. So am I.” She smiled and thought a moment. “Roger would be so pleased to know you’ve taken some time to rest.”

She was stoic, fully a four star General’s wife, layered with protection from loneliness and worry, displaying all the battle weary signs of those left behind to struggle at home.

“Are you gonna be alright?” he asked quietly.

She smiled sadly and touched the sleeve of his jacket. “Yes.”

At the car, Dino was casually leaning against the passenger door, smoking a cigarette and lost in thought. “We missed our place in the motor procession, buddy, we’ll be coming up the rear.” He climbed in as Terry started the engine.

Turning to look at Dino, Terry groaned. “Mate, I’d rather sit around an airport for three hours than …”

“Fine with me, Ter. Fine with me.”

They sat and awaited the last of the hundred cars as they snaked past, headlights on, little ‘Funeral’ flags propped on their fenders. After the New York’s finest black and white signaled the last of them, Terry pulled a U-turn and drove away, relief washing over him as they hit the highway and headed to JFK International.

Through the ticket gate, on to drop off luggage for screening, into the slow line for security and finally moving freely, they still hadn’t spoken a word. Without discussing it, they went to the first pub and sat, ordered eggs over easy, tomato juice and beer. And they remained silent as death.

But Dino could sense it, could actually feel the tension rolling in waves from Terry. Oh hell yeah, there was going to be an explosion, a big one and Dino just hoped it wouldn’t come to blows on the long flight to Spain. Nothing happened as they waited for boarding, nothing during the hours in the air … nothing at the baggage claim. At the beautiful five- star Vincci Capitol Hotel, they checked into adjoining rooms and still hadn’t spoken a single word. They were both exhausted from the trip, the confrontation was due and it was coming … sure as hell, it was coming.

Dino sat on the bed, not even taking in the luxury of the amenities, just waiting. He didn’t have to wait much longer. Even though he was expecting it, his gut jumped when he heard the adjoining double door unlock and a knock, no, a thud … no, repeated pounding against the polished dark wood. With a groan he stood, twisted the lock and let the door swing opened. There stood an angry Terry Thorne, his hooded brows lowered in disgust and his mouth twisted.

He pushed past and stomped to the center of the room, turning a dangerous swing, his glare substantial. “Why did you do it?”

Dino drew in a long breath, ran a hand down his chest and settled onto a chair, looking up and controlling what he’d say and how he’d say it. His first attempt was a diversion technique.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Bollocks, answer me. Why’d you do it?”

Dino shrugged, groaned. “What the fuck did I do? It was a simple case; I went to take care of it. I fucked up. End of story.”

“Why’d you do it, mate?” Terry’s expression had softened and Dino felt his own confessions rising to the surface. He clearly understood that facing his own demons was going to help his partner face his. Yeah, he sure as hell didn’t want to, but he owed Terry that much. At least.

Another shrug designed to appear noncommittal. “You know Terry, you ain’t the only one out there wanting to test yourself. Not the only one thinking about fucking mortality. If you were in New York instead of licking your wounds over another divorce, you know damn well we’d have been fighting over which one of us was gonna take that one … and take it alone.”

Terry’s eyes narrowed. “No mate. You would’ve let me know you were goin’. You’d have followed procedure. You fuckin’ disappeared, didn’t make regular reports, didn’t even bother with a bloody occasional update. What the fuck were you doin’?”

“My fucking job,” Dino shouted, stood and met Terry’s glare. “Somebody had to do it, you know.”

And Terry’s heart collapsed, trembled. What had he been missing? It was a suicide mission, pure and simple. Not like Dino was wrong, they would have argued over which one of them should take the risk. It wasn’t that Dino took it or even that he didn’t give Terry the chance to claim it as his own. Dino knew he was broken, bleeding from the crumble of another marriage. The man would never venture to criticize Terry for such things, but unfortunately he would protect him from himself. No one could have guessed where that case was going, but at least Dino had his wits about him enough to rationally face it.

And there was more. There was no one at Thorne and O’Leary ready and able to do such a negotiation … taking a team at the onset would have alerted the kidnapper that there was an intention to take action. Dino did do everything right. But it went all wrong.

Terry rubbed his eyes and paced, his mind racing through everything, his new awareness of himself buffering every hard, cold fact with justified emotion. What if he hadn’t gotten there in time? His best mate, his partner and professional support would be dead. Buried like the old General. He dropped onto the edge of the bed and looked into Dino’s blue eyes.

“Tell me why you did it? I gotta know.”

His fear was that Dino stepped in front of a speeding train to protect him. The answer came and fuck if it didn’t shake every sinew of Terry’s being.

Dino spoke quietly, clearly, holding Terry with his eyes. “You really think you’re the only one who wonders about shit? About life? How we got here? Where we go when it’s all done? Think again, buddy.” Dino rolled his neck, thought to leave it at that but couldn’t. His brain was on the roll, spitting things that had to be spoken. And he realized exactly how long it had been since he and Terry actually talked about this kinda shit.

Not like they were those sensitive nineties kinda men. They were soldiers. But, they’d always been able to find that common ground, see where the other was falling and reach down to drag him back to his feet … whether it was about women, like when Terry got messed up with Alice Bowman, or about limitations, like he was being asked to justify that moment. It was time to come clean. He cleared his throat.

“You know Terry, life was pretty fucking good when we first got here. Beautiful women to take care of our needs, an instant family to protect. We had it all, right? Wrong. You and the other Crowe creations, you guys had it all. I was a fucking half brother. A sort of honorary distant relative. Why the fuck do you think I risked the Time Portal? And oh fucking hell yeah, I knew it was a Time Portal and not the original Portal that snapped us from the film. I knew lots of fucking things … and I knew that if I could work a little stock market magic, I could find some solid footing. I mean, what the fuck? If I wasn’t endowed with all the rights and benefits like the rest of you guys … I’d buy it.”

Terry’s head tilted and Dino put out his hands.

“Don’t get me wrong. Face it man … we needed the funding. I knew I could generate a massive amount of money and I knew what I’d do with it. When we first got here it was all fun and adventure, but the damn game ended. Shit, Terry. Good as it was, did you really think it was gonna last forever?”

Terry looked down at his feet, shook his head.

“It served well though, didn’t it?” Dino chuckled quietly. “Always a priestess to locate and help acclimate a new arrival, a safe Temple for unattached brothers. But with that all gone, we had to be prepared, you know. The Portal ain’t the best mom. She drops us into this new reality and leaves us here to fend for ourselves. Some can handle it, and some can’t. Contemporary brothers do the best, but fuck … Wade? And now with the complication from Maximus’ foolish desire to go back … Pullo and Antony to take care of? We got our hands full, buddy. I’m glad I took the risk to make those investments all those years ago.

“But you asked me why I did that China case alone …” Dino rubbed his eyes and groaned. “Okay, here goes. Terry, I was at the end of my rope. I’ll admit I didn’t really give a fuck if I came back alive and I didn’t want any intervention. I was looking for an end to it all … and if that failed … I figured what the fuck, I’d get to be a hero just one more time. I thought I didn’t need any help, actually wasn’t thinking I’d need backup either, but I’d have called for it if I had the chance.

“It all went south so fucking fast my head spun. Then I just … I dunno … knew you were there. Were coming for me. Turns out I wasn’t so keen on dying after all.” He stood and looked out the window, his back to Terry.

“Learned a few things that day, Ter; questioning mortality and facing mortality are two different things. You and me … we’ve been walking around thinking that if we faced it, we’d be fine. Just survive or just die. Whatever happened, happened. It ain’t like that at all.” He looked over his shoulder. “I wasn’t surprised when you said things gotta change for the business, friend ‘o mine. ‘Cause one of the things I discovered is that hey, maybe I could’ve done it alone … a few years ago. You and me, Terry … we’re getting older. There is just some shit we can’t do alone anymore … probably things we shouldn’t even attempt in tangent much longer. Because,” he turned and faced Terry fully, “even the best fucking soldiers don’t really want to see what’s on the other side of the grave. Even soldiers like us who wonder every day about the mystery of our existence.”

“What mystery,” Terry sighed. “What really makes us any different than anyone else? We’re breathing. The trick is to keep doin’ it, mate.”

“Man, I am sorry about your hand. But Terry Thorne, you fucking saved my life … a life I didn’t even realize I wanted to keep until you came charging through that goddamn door to get me free. There aren’t enough words to thank you.”

Terry leaned back in the chair, rubbed his tired, red eyes. “This hand ain’t all your fault, mate. Between you and me, maybe that moment … something bigger saved both our lives. I dunno. Does it matter?”

They were quiet for several long moments and finally Terry stood, rolled his shoulders and groaned. “Things have gotta change … but we can’t get into it today. I’m fuckin’ burned out, need some sleep. We’ll work it through tomorrow.”

“Hey,” Dino called just as Terry prepared to close his side of the adjoining door.

“Yeah?”

“Accept my apology … and my thanks.”