Jessie knew that despite Lachlan’s best assurances, something was amiss.

She had never before felt so attuned to someone’s moods and expressions, had never felt so much of one man’s heart reaching out to her, as if she alone held the key to his soul. It was an uncanny sensitivity, although she knew that if she tried to describe any of this to her friends they’d just smile and tell her that it was because she was head over heels in love. She’d have to smile back and agree that she was guilty as charged. And because of this, she knew that Lachlan was carrying something heavy inside, only she didn’t know how to address it or how to deal with the ache it was causing in her own heart.

Truth was, Lachlan wanted to tell Jessie everything. Where he’d come from, how he got here, who he really was, how much he’d been trying to find his place in this world; only he hardly had the answers himself. Two weeks ago he thought he’d had finally begun to figure it all out, and just when the pieces seemed to start falling into place, something truly frightening had happened.

What if his existence in this world was about to be ripped from him, just like it had been a few years before? Had any of the other brothers experienced something similar, or was it something frightening that had happened to him alone? As much as he wanted answers, he was terrified of what he might find. There was never any doubt that what he had experienced for those brief few moments was real: he had been close enough to Lil to see the tears in her eyes, to smell her perfume, to hear the last words she had ever spoken to him.

Better than stamps.

He would always love her. How could he not? She’d been the one thing that had made his life at that time bearable; and yet she’d lost everything because she had dared to love him in return. The guilt he had carried through the years had never left him. Once, he even gone as far as to try and find out if there were any surviving records of what might have happened to her or her family, only he had come up with nothing but dead ends. Indeed, after searching the internet and even traveling back to the same town in Manitoba to search through the public records he had found nothing; no record of her family or their farm, no record in the microfilm of archived newspapers from 1942 that mentioned her brother’s death in the war; it was if neither Lil nor her family had never existed at all.

What had happened to her afterwards? Had she somehow managed to reconcile with her husband and been fortunate enough to survive the scandal and small town gossip? Or had she found happiness with another man and lived a fulfilling life?  He might have persisted had he felt that there was something to gain aside from the easing of his conscience, but even if he did discover the answers to these things, what difference could if have possibly made? The girl he had loved so long ago was gone to him forever.

Despite his uncertainties, he had accepted his existence in this world and was on the threshold of starting something new and exciting with the arrival of Jessie in his life. She was the kind of woman that he could easily marry, and although the thought of their raising a family and spending the rest of their lives together wasn’t one that he had discussed with anyone just yet, he knew where his heart was leaning. She was centered and practical with an intriguing combination of toughness and vulnerability, not to mention the fact that she was funny and sexy and completely uninhibited where their amorous activities were concerned. Out of all the other men she could have chosen, she had opened her soul to him and he felt like his heart had finally come home. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew that he had to figure out how to tell her the truth about his past in a way that wouldn’t cause her to doubt his sanity.

 He was tired of living under the weight of this brilliant disguise that the brothers had created for themselves. Although he knew he could never share the truth of his past with anyone else from this world, Jessie had the right to know. She was already beginning to suspect that something wasn’t quite right, but again she endeared herself to him all the more by not pressing him for answers. There were times, especially when they were making love that he felt the tightening bonds of their closeness, and he might have told her then. But the niggling fear of her disbelief had caused him to remain silent.

Several days after the experience of being pulled back into his past, he made a decision to call the one man who would hear him out on the subject of his suspected sanity; John Biebe had a natural disposition to gruffness, but he was by far one of the most practical and sane members of their unique band of brothers, and his blunt honesty would be something that Lachlan could hold onto. It took him a couple of hours to work up the nerve to place the call, but he moment he heard John’s voice on the other end of the line, a surge of relief washed over him. And although the ensuing conversation only verified what Lachlan had been fearing, he now had the comfort of at least knowing that he wasn’t losing his sanity. It had happened, and some of the others had been experiencing it as well. While he couldn’t leave to make the meeting with the others in Vermont, he would place the call at the appointed time and be a part of the meeting with the others that was taking place tomorrow afternoon.

But he had something very important to attend to first, and an hour later he was standing on Jessie’s doorstep waiting for her to answer, his heart pounding furiously in anticipation of what might happen next.

Jessie smiled as she opened the door, her eyes soft and full of concern as she saw the worried expression on Lachlan’s face. She went to hug him, but he caught her and held her at arm’s length.