Seven AM. Emily stared at the clock next to her bed, her eyes blurry and puffy from crying. God, her chest hurt; her whole body ached as if someone had slammed her into a brick wall. Her emotions were frayed and disjointed and the throbbing in her head pulsed all the way to her toenails.

She had told Kim that she loved him only twenty-four hours earlier. They were blissfully naked and wrapped up in each other’s arms, her head resting on his chest and he drew little circles on the small of her back with his fingertips. As she listened to the beating of his heart she realized that it was matching the rhythm of her own and she had felt so blissfully happy, as if somehow everything had suddenly come together to where all the mysteries of the universe made sense.

He had smelled so good; his body was warm and relaxed from their earlier lovemaking, a combination of eau de early morning man with intermingled traces of Armani cologne. Even now his scent was still on her, even though she had taken a shower just a few hours before. She could smell him on her skin as surely as she smelled the traces of stale cigarette smoke wafting through the walls from her chain smoking next door neighbor.

Sighing heavily, she reached for the phone. She may as well get it over with and tell Riley she was resigning her position at the Inn, effective immediately. Yeah, it was a chicken shit way of dealing with things, but the thought of facing Kim again or even hearing his voice brought on another round of crying. Riley would relay the message to Kim and in another hour Emily would call the phone company and have them change her phone number. She’d turned off her cell phone and bury it at the bottom of her clothes hamper. With a bit of luck she’d forget that it was there and toss it into the wash next time she did laundry. If only she could erase her memories of Kim just as simply. It would be so much easier if she still didn’t love him.

w

Seven PM. Kim sat alone at the bar nursing his second round of scotch. He wasn’t sure why he was drinking it; he hated scotch but found that he liked how it dulled the exclamation point to his smoldering frustration. Maybe after a couple more drinks he’d be able to drown out the haunting memory of the look of hurt and betrayal reflected in Emily’s eyes.

Daisy was tending bar. Things were slow, but she didn’t really mind. She was still riding the excitement over deciding to stay in Vermont and was feeling pretty good about life. She and Cory were staying at the Inn, and had sat up all last night discussing their plans. It was nice to think of how life would be without Cory traveling all the time, following Gemma Kane across the country trying to catch ghosts. Even Kim’s dour expression wasn’t about to get her down.

There were voices over by the entrance and then the opening bars of Hank William’s Your Cheatin’ Heart began to play on the jukebox. Kim glanced over as he heard a familiar voice coming up behind him.

“Thought we’d find you here, mate.”

He looked into Andy’s smiling face followed closely by a grinning Jeff Mitchell. He nodded and turned back to his drink. “So what are you  … reinforcements?” As irritated as he was, he rather welcomed the company. He didn’t like drinking alone; it reminded him too much of his father.

Jeff plopped down on the barstool at Kim’s left and Andy took the one on the right, ordering beers for the both of them. “Well yes, in a manner of speaking. See, I’ve only been here for a day and half and already I’ve begun repairs on what could have been a major plumbing disaster, caught up on all the family business, discovered that Bud White has an adult grandson who’s thrown his lot in with all of us and watched some little bit of a woman take you on as if she were Mike Tyson. To tell the truth, I was kinda disappointed when she left so suddenly.”

Andy snorted, catching Daisy’s eye as she served up their drinks.

“So mate, are you just going to sit here all night and drown your sorrows, or are you going to do something about it to make everything right?”

Kim shook his head. Why did they have to play Hank Williams? “She won’t talk to me. She’s blocked my calls to her cell phone and she’s had her home number disconnected. I thought of driving over to see her, but … well, I’m not very good at this sort of thing.”

“That’s putting it mildly. But you’re gonna have to do something. I mean, word’s already gotten out that Emily’s resigned and this morning the head of housekeeping informed me that her entire staff will stage a walk out if you don’t get her back.” Andy chuckled. “Seems they don’t like working for you. Can’t imagine why”

“You aren’t making me feel any better, you know.”

“Wasn’t trying to. What really happened? Maybe we can help figure out some sort of strategy for getting her back. Start at the beginning. What did you do that made her so mad?”

“Turned on the infamous Barrett charm, apparently.” Jeff giggled and Kim groaned.

“It was all a simple misunderstanding. Really.” He proceeded to tell them everything from the beginning; meeting a lovely, fun woman named PrimaVera online, how they really hit it off and finally decided to meet, and how he had chickened out when he discovered that his mystery woman was actually Emily.

“Bloody hell, what are the chances of that?” Jeff found that he was really intrigued with the notion. “It’s just like that movie. You know, where Tom Hanks plays this arrogant jerk and his family owns this big bookstore conglomerate, and he ends up putting this girl out of business, only to discover that she’s been the one he’s been talking to online for the past several weeks. What was that actress’ name? Margaret … Maggie? Oh well, never did like her.”

Andy took a good look at Kim. Dark circles under his eyes, mussed up hair, two day old whiskers … he looked like he’d been on a weekend bender. “Just think how much easier it would have been if you simply told her the truth.”

Daisy always prided herself on her ability to keep a bartender’s professional sense of emotional distance, but this was getting too good. “Yeah, Kim. Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?” When did men ever tell the truth?

Kim couldn’t meet her eyes. “I was going to!”

Daisy leaned in closer, her eyes narrowing. “When? After your children were in college?”

Kim groaned again. “I would have told her, except that very same evening, right after I chickened out and stood her up, this poor bastard gets plowed down by a hit and run driver right outside the Starbucks where we were supposed to meet. He was about my age, and Emily assumed that this guy was actually me. She started visiting him in the hospital, bringing him flowers, reading to him. He’s still in a coma.”

“Mate, that is beyond low.” Andy shook his head and Jeff and Daisy followed suit, all three of them resembling a set of bobblehead figurines.

“I know.” Kim slumped forward until his forehead thumped against the top of the bar. “I’d give anything to make it right.”

Daisy exchanged a wry look with both men and patted Kim’s head. “I suggest a dozen red roses and a really nice box of chocolates.”

Kim’s head snapped back up, his eyes wide and voice hopeful. “Do you really think that’ll work?”

“Sure. Just be sure not to duck.”

“Huh?”

“When she throws them back in your face, make sure that they hit you; it’ll make her feel better.”

“Yeah,” Jeff chimed in. “And show up unshaven with your clothes all rumpled like you slept in them, your hair a bit of a mess … kind of like how you look right now. And don’t forget the puppy dog eyes.”

“Women love puppy dog eyes.” Andy remembered how it had worked for him just recently with Monna.

Daisy had to agree. “Yeah, hate to admit it, but puppy dog eyes do it for me every time.”

“What if she gets really mad and hits me?”

“Bet that’ll make her feel better, too.” Daisy shook her head. It was funny, because she found herself feeling just a little bit sorry for Kim. She’d heard so much about how he could be an insufferable jerk, yet she found herself liking him in spite of it all. “I think the only thing you can really do is throw yourself at her mercy, admit to being an idiot, apologize profusely and tell her how much you love her. I mean, you do love her, don’t you?”

Kim thought about her question for a moment before answering. “I adore her.”

“Well, bloody hell, mate. Why are you sitting here and drowning your sorrows then?” Andy reached over and gave Kim a slightly more than playful slap along the back of his head. “Be a man and do the right thing. Apologize. Promise her that you’ll never do anything so stupid and insensitive again.”

“Promise to watch chick flicks with her instead of footy,” Jeff added. “Tell her the truth and admit that you’re a world class idiot. By the way, when she tossed that message at you yesterday, she mentioned someone named VermontPonyGal …what was all that about?”

“Oh brother, don’t ask.” This came from Andy.

Kim’s mouth dropped open. “How did you know about her?”

Andy shrugged. “You know, my wife does tell me things.” He looked over at Jeff. “She was this freaky little redhead who handcuffed him to her bed and rode him like he was an Aussie stallion. Yee haw.”

Kim knew that his face was ten different shades of red. “When that happened I still didn’t know that Emily was the girl I had been talking to online. Her name was …” He snapped his fingers as he tried to remember. “Ashley …she had two last names. She was a nice girl.”

Daisy felt like she was watching a bad comedy routine. “Funny, I wouldn’t have figured you for a guy who was into kink.”

“I’m not! Bloody hell, I’m a consenting adult and can do whatever I want.”

“With whomever you want …”

“Whenever you want …”

“So okay, I may have given her my IM address and we may have spoken online a couple of times. But it’s been several weeks since I heard from her. How was I to know that she’d try to IM me when I was at work? If I’d seen the messages before Emily did, I would have told her that I was already seeing someone and wished her well.”

Daisy took a couple steps back from the bar and crossed her arms in front of her, her eyes hard on Kim. “So, you’re saying that you’d tell the truth to the kink queen, but you couldn’t tell the truth to Emily whom you supposedly adore? What part am I missing?”

Jeff reached for the bowl of beer nuts, spilling several across the counter in front of him in the process. “Face it mate; you’re fucked”

Kim knew they were all right; although he never intended to hurt Emily, the bottom line was that he had known better. His selfishness and pride had gotten in the way. He missed her terribly and was tired of feeling like he was some sort of monster. He’d been sitting there feeling sorry for himself, his misery borne out of the realization that he had single handedly ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He could either sit there all night and continue to drink himself into oblivion, or he could be the man that he was being told to be and do the right thing; go to Emily and apologize. If she wouldn’t forgive him then he’d just have to try harder. Slipping off of his barstool, he reached into his pocket to leave a tip for Daisy.

“Okay, mates. I’m gonna go do what I should have done all along.” He wobbled a little and Andy steadied him.

“Hold on, you’re not driving anywhere. With your luck you’ll get pulled over for driving under the influence. Mitchell and I will take you.”

Kim shook his head. “I need to do this on my own.”

“Fine. But you’re letting me drive you over to Emily’s. Mitchell and I will wait outside while you apologize.”

Jeff grinned. “It’s been a long time since I’ve witnessed a slaughter.”

Daisy was actually a little sorry that she couldn’t go with them. “Just speak from your heart Kim. If you really do love her, and I think that you do, don’t hold anything back.”

Kim gave her a weak smile and looked at Andy and Jeff. “Okay then. Let’s go to the hanging.”

Thirty minutes later, Andy parked the car outside the front of Emily’s apartment. It was just after eight-thirty and her car was in its parking space.

“Okay Tiger. It’s all up to you.” Jeff patted Kim on the shoulder as he went to get out of the car. “If we don’t hear from you in twenty minutes, we’ll send in the reinforcements.”  

“Or a body bag,” Andy quipped.

Kim swallowed hard and straightened his shoulders, his heart beating hard inside his chest as he darted across the street and up the stairs towards Emily. He felt a sense of hope when he saw the lights on in her apartment; taking a deep breath, he raised his hand and knocked on her door. A moment later, it opened, and Emily stood before him.

“I don’t want to speak to you, Kim Barrett.” 

But she didn’t make any moves to close the door. Kim grabbed his opportunity. “I understand, Emmy. You don’t have to say anything. But please, I do have something to tell you. Please, just hear me out and I’ll go”

She wanted to slam the door in his face, but seeing him standing there, his hair all tussled and his clothing wrinkled, looking every bit as handsome as he always did, only this time there was something else; Kim Barrett looked vulnerable. The last time she had seen him looking like this was when he told her the truth about his background. She stood aside and motioned for him to come in. As they stood in the entryway facing each other, she found that she did have quite a bit to say to him after all.

“Why were you able to trust me to tell me about where you came from, yet you couldn’t trust me enough to think that just maybe I might have understood that you were really NYSE411? You made a fool out of me, Kim.”

She’d been crying. He could tell by the puffiness of her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to tell you. But at first I was just in shock to discover that you were the girl I’d been talking to online for all those months, and I hadn’t been prepared for it.”

“You let me go visit some stranger in the hospital thinking that he was you. I held this stranger’s hand and read to him! I even met his mother one night when I was visiting and she had invited me to come visit her whenever I was in New York! Do you know how stupid I feel about all of that?”

“No, but I can imagine …”

“And who is this VermontPonyGirl”

“Emmy, she was someone from long before I even knew that you were the woman I had been talking to online. I hadn’t heard from her in months and I have no idea why she contacted me.”

Emily rolled her eyes and moved back towards the living room with Kim following right behind.

“Emmy, please …”

She turned on him, her eyes dark and ferocious. “You DO NOT have my permission to call me by that name!”

“Emily…”

“Do you have any idea how betrayed I feel? You stood me up! How was I to come up with any other conclusion that that poor man wasn’t really you? Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I wanted to, please believe me.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

There it was. The one question that he had been asking himself ever since the whole horrible misunderstanding began. Why didn’t he just come out and tell her?

“I was wrong, Emily. I knew it was wrong and I was stupid …”

“Stupid doesn’t even come close to describing you. Try arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed …”

“Yes, I’m all those things. I’ve never had a reason to be any other way. Until I met you.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?” She was crying now, and he wanted more than anything to take her in his arms and hold her close.

But he didn’t. Instead he sat down on the couch that was directly behind him and looked up at her, focusing on her beautiful dark eyes.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Emily, put yourself in my shoes. I know it’s not a very good excuse, but I’m a man. We do and say really stupid things. I fucked up big time and I have to live with the knowledge that I’ve hurt the one person who means more to me than anyone. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. You’re right; it was selfish and just plain wrong, and I handled it badly. I hurt you, and for that, I’ll always be sorry. Even though it may not mean much to you right now, I’ve never stopped loving you or thinking that you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. What happened between us this weekend … I meant everything I said to you. I still do.”

Emily knew that she should send him packing, but she felt herself wavering. “It’s going to be hard for me to ever trust you again.”

Her voice was so soft it was almost a whisper, but Kim had heard every word. Getting up from the couch he went over to her. Hesitating for just one moment, he said a quick silent prayer as he reached to pull her into his arms. Please, give me another chance.

But she didn’t pull away. She could smell the scotch on his breath, and for some reason she found a certain comfort in knowing that he’d been drinking. Most likely to work up his nerve when facing her? She slipped her arms around his waist and placed her cheek on his chest. She could hear his heart beating, and again, the rhythm matched hers. And was he actually trembling? She pulled away just slightly and looked up at him, her heart melting when she saw his eyes filling with tears.

“Emmy …”

“Oh Kim …”

“I’ll never hurt you again, baby. I promise.” He looked down at her, his fingertips softly caressing the curve of her jaw line. She was beautiful. She was his only. And he’d almost lost her.

“I want to believe you.”

“I understand that you don’t. Let me try and earn your trust again.”

“You really hurt me.”

“I know.”

She just held on to him, a bit shaky, but wanting so much to believe that the Kim she had come to know over the past couple of weeks was the real man she had fallen in love with after all. Everyone made mistakes, and he was trying to make it right. Time would tell if he was truly sincere, but at that very moment, this was enough.

w

Outside Emily’s apartment, Jeff and Andy sat in the car, waiting.

“How long has it been?”

Jeff looked at his watch. “Exactly ninety seconds since you asked the last time.”

Andy scratched his chin. He was starting to get cold. “That long, eh?”

“Reckon we should go up there and see if he’s still alive?”

“I don’t know. What if they’ve made up and are … you know …indisposed.”

Jeff shrugged. “You can always ring him on his cell phone.”

“What if he doesn’t answer?”

“Then we charge upstairs after him.”

“That’ll take a lot of energy. I could use some tucker.” Andy yawned for emphasis.

Jeff tapped his fingers along the dashboard as he considered their options. “I have an idea.”

Andy watched as Jeff got out of the car and walked to the middle of the street. Putting two fingers in his mouth, he gave a piercing whistle and then let out a shout. “Hey, Barrett! Are you in or out?”

Andy slunk down low in the driver’s seat when several of Emily’s neighbors pulled aside their front curtains to look out at what was causing all the commotion. A few seconds later, the curtains in Emily’s apartment were pulled back, and Kim waved to announce that he was indeed okay. The sight of Emily sniggled under his arm was all they needed to see.

Andy started up the car and Jeff went back to join him. “Looks like our work here is done, kimosabe.”

Andy gave Jeff a look. “Kimosabe? So you’re Tonto, and I’m the Lone Ranger?”

Jeff just grinned. “High-o silver, and all that, mate.”

“So what does that make Barrett?”

Jeff pondered the question. “Uh, Trigger?”