The ship creaked and moaned as it rolled on the waves, waves growing
increasingly higher and stronger as they headed further south. The skies, blue, clear and bright when they launched in Portland, Maine had grown more overcast and gray with each passing day. The wind howled in the sails … sheets, Joanna reminded herself. They were sheets, not sails.

She lay in her narrow bunk, her curtain drawn for privacy. It’s funny, she thought, how life twists and turns. Just a year ago, she was blissfully in love with Peter, looking forward to having his children and growing old with him. But, that dream ended late one night with a fiery car crash and he died. She was inconsolable, so alone in her grief. She considered ending her life too as there seemed no point in going on. Her parents, looking for any way to pull her out of her depression, insisted she continue her studies at the university. She resisted at first, but finally conceded. There didn’t seem to be any point in torturing them any further with her pain.

As she predicted, the first semester was agony. Everything reminded her of Peter and no one understood. All her schoolmates could think about was partying. For them, life was uncomplicated, easy, happy. They didn’t understand how tragic it could be and she felt so disconnected from them, from her professors, from her studies, from everything. When the second semester seemed to be more of the same, she thought she’d just drop out. But then, he came to her math class and her life began to bloom again.

She would never forget the first time she saw him so tall behind the lectern. His bright hair tied back in a ponytail, his piercing blue eyes, his wide smile. She had never seen anyone quite like him; he was so imposing, she was a little afraid. She had never been good at math and she hated the thought of facing his anger and frustration. After the session, she scurried out the door and on to her next class, hoping to avoid talking to him. But, when he returned their papers the next week, he’d left a note on hers requesting that she see him in his office that afternoon.

“My dear Miss Bennett, what a pleasure! Do come in.” He welcomed her into the tiny cubbyhole. It was crowded; the desk taking up most of the space. A tall bookshelf on one wall was filled with books and papers, odd-looking scientific instruments used as paperweights. A model ship sat on a low shelf under the window. His desk was cluttered but neat, papers stacked in one corner and a map spread across. On the shelves behind him, more books and papers along with a few pictures, one large photograph of a woman with two babies in her arms.

“Sit, Miss Bennett, please sit.” He indicated a chair and took his seat behind the desk. “I’ve been reviewing your work my dear, and frankly I feel you could do better.”

Her heart fell and she bowed her head. She felt like such a failure. Looking up, her eyes burning with tears, “But, Mr. Aubrey, I tried so hard. I just don’t understand algebra.”

“Come now, Miss Bennett, it’s not that bad. You just need a little more effort, that’s all.” He held a handkerchief out to her. “Just a little effort and it will all become clear.”

“But …”

“No, no, my dear. Now, let me show you how the Quadratic formula works …” He went on to explain the difficult concept in great detail and under his tutelage, she finally began to comprehend it. And he was right, it all did become clear and for the first time in her life, she shone at math.

The rest of the semester seemed to fly by; Mr. Aubrey continued encouraging her, supporting her in more than just math. She opened up to him in ways that she never had with anyone else; told him about her life, dreams and fears. Instead of turning away or laughing at her, he listened as she talked; gave her sound advice and made her smile with a fractured proverb or bad pun. He listened gravely when she told him of Peter and the tragic accident, put his arm around her and soothed her as she cried. She wasn’t sure when it became something more than a teacher-student relationship, but by semester’s end, they were firmly in love. She wasn’t expecting it, wasn’t even looking for it, but it happened all the same.

She lay in her bunk listening to the wind howling outside and began to wonder about his family. He’d mentioned them a few times and she was touched by how his eyes lit up when he talked of his daughters. But his wife was another matter. What kind of woman would send her husband off alone, away from his home and his children? Joanna’s anger grew just thinking about what a cold-hearted bitch that woman must be to treat Jack so badly, at how she must be cheating on him, spending all his money, turning his children against him and poor Jack … out here at sea and can’t do a thing about it. She huffed to herself and turned over in her bed. Well, it won’t be long and that bitch will pay. Jack will leave her and take the girls. She smiled. It was already planned … as soon as they return to Portland, Jack is going to tell his wife they’re through.

She heard thunder crack in the distance and for a moment, her heart beat fast with fear. Just that afternoon, Jack had gathered the crew on deck.

“There’s a storm,” he began, “a hurricane heading toward Bermuda.” Everyone around her gasped and murmured to each other. “Now,” Jack continued, “it may come this way or it may not. We’ll keep a close eye and will chart our course accordingly. Meanwhile, we proceed as usual, following our duty. Tomorrow, we will dock in Ft. Lauderdale where we will assess our situation.” He looked directly at her and she was sure he could see the fear in her eyes. “Hopefully, if all goes well, we will be able to complete our trip. But, we will turn back, if need be. Tomorrow we will know for certain. Now,” he cleared his throat, “carry on.” He ended with a nod and went down below deck.

As soon as she could leave her post, she went below and knocked on his door.

“Enter.”

“Jack … uh, Captain.” He was standing at the desk surrounded by the other officers of the ship.

“Yes, Miss Bennett?” His eyebrows raised in question.

“Um,” she looked around. All the officers’ eyes were on her, questioning her right to be here. How dare they, she thought. If they only knew what the true relationship was between her and Jack, they’d be different. They’d treat her with the respect she was entitled to as the Captain’s wife.

She lifted her chin. “I’m sorry, Captain, I was just wondering. Will Ft. Lauderdale be safe?”

“Certainly, Miss Bennett. Tomorrow we’ll dock safely and test the winds. We’ll decide then on the proper course of action,” he assured her, giving her a small smile and that secret wink that told her not to worry.

That night, they sat apart at dinner and weren’t able to speak, but it didn’t matter. They caught each other’s eyes several times and she just knew how much he wanted her. But, no one could know about their plans yet. It would be bad for Jack if it got out that he was seeing one of his students. He could lose his job, lose his reputation. It was hard, though, keeping it quiet. She beamed whenever he was near and even he was having a hard time keeping the secret of their love.