PULLO

Valerie has been such a strong little girl and I’m very proud of her. She’s worked hard with her schoolwork and done well, she’s been good around the Inn and while we were at the vineyard farmhouse, she enjoyed playing the lady of the house, helping to clean and prepared the few rooms we’ll be living in this summer as the rest of the place is being rebuilt. But I worry a lot. Such a little love, she often gets a strange look on her face like she’s confused or lost and I worry that I am hardly enough to raise her well. I often hope that some of the women at the Inn are talking with her. There are things she should have a woman to talk with about. What they could be in this time and place, I can not say, but I am sure, there are things.

The last week of school and she’s fallen sick. At the doctor’s, she was a little nervous and a bit fidgety but so pale and uncomfortable I had no heart to tell her to sit still. Then, inside the examining room, the young doctor just smiled like nothing was wrong.

“What is it, Doctor?”

He grinned and patted the top of her head. “She’s caught what apparently twenty percent of the school has. Chicken pox. Looks like this school year will go out with a phifffttttttt!” he teased and listened to Valerie’s heart through his ear thing. “Look, there we go, she’s already begun to break out a bit here on her side.” He lowered her tee shirt and turned to me. “She’ll be fine, just a little uncomfortable for a while. Give her Tylenol for the fever, keep her warm and rested, plenty of fluids.”

My head was spinning, trying to remember everything and the doctor just laughed.

“Listen,” he took me aside. “I understand you’re playing both mom and dad in this situation, but this is no big deal. Check her temperature every few hours.”

I blinked confusion.

“With a thermometer?”

I wish that man would stop chuckling at me.

“Here,” he dug through a cabinet and came up with one of those thermometers. All tight in plastic, brand new. “Under her tongue, five minutes. If it goes over a hundred and one, give her the Tylenol … if the fever still doesn’t go down, call me. If you have any questions, call me. You’ll be fine, Mr. Pullo. And you, missy,” he turned to my daughter. “No scratching, okay?”

She nodded, wiggling in her jacket, seeking relief from the already itchy marks on her ribs.

“So, that’s it then?”

“Yes, keep her home for a week or so. After the marks dry up she’ll no longer be contagious, but … has she been around any other children besides her friends at school over the past few days?”

“Yes,” I gulped. “Yes. Infants, toddlers.”

“Oh … uh … you better call and warn the parents, there’s a likelihood their kids will come down with it too.”

I was unsure what worried me more, Valerie’s obvious discomfort or telling Mere, Riley and Natalie the news.

At Inn I checked her temperature. As suspected, a hundred and one and I gave her a dose of the medication and tucked her into bed. Then I sat to make my calls.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit!” spouted Natalie.

“I am sorry, love.”

“It’s not your fault,” she huffed. “Have you called Mere and Riley yet?”

“No, no. I’ve just gotten Valerie to bed.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll let them know. Shit … shit, shit, shit!”

That done, I settled on the sofa with my notes on the vineyard, reviewing the expenses for the house repairs and the amount of land already prepared and cultivated for planting. I worked a few hours, wondering if I should check on Valerie when I looked up.

She stood there, fear in her eyes, sobbing great crocodile tears.

“Little love? Are you alright?”

“Daddy … I … I’m bleeding!” she gasped and cried harder.

I went closer and lifted her pajama top. “Have you opened one of these marks? You’re not supposed to scratch, sweetheart.”

“No! No,” she pushed her clothing back in place. “Not there.” Another sob. “Down … there.”

I blinked. Blinked again and dropped my head back. Ahhhhhh. “Hush sweetheart. It’s fine. Hush now.” I lifted her in my arms, feeling the warm wetness at her little bottom and carried her to bed. “It’s fine, love. Shh.”

Now what the bloody hell do I do? I laid her on the bed and she scrambled off. The poor dear was shaking. I went for a towel and set it flat on the sheet then she finally let me tuck her in again. “Now you stay here. I’ll run downstairs to the shop and get a few things for you. Just rest, Valerie. Everything is fine.”

“I’m scared, daddy.”

I hugged her close. This daddy stuff is far harder than I even imagined. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just rest, honey.”

Outside the gift shop I stopped. Hell, exactly what was I looking for? I recall women and lovers since coming to this time running off to the store for things they needed at times like this … but what the bloody hell were they buying? Just then I saw my salvation.

Valerie had gotten rather close to sweet Emily. Kim’s assistant (and we all suspect much more than his assistant) was rushing through the lobby, heading down to her office and I caught her arm. She swung around, almost hopping on one foot and looked up at me. Her brow curled.

“Pullo? Is everything alright?”

“No, not at all. Ah … Emily … I most humbly request your help with something. It’s Valerie.”

Panic soared across her face. “Is something wrong with Valerie?”

“Yes … no … well, she has chicken pox.”

Emily gasped. “Poor baby!”

“That’s not it … she … she has just begun her first blood,” I said quietly.

“Her … ohhhhhhh.”

I nodded, hoping she’d understand my needs.

“Okay,” she smiled sweetly, “let’s get what she needs in here.”

Thank heavens; it appears all women knew what that need meant. I followed her into the store and back to the far wall. She purchased something called Kotex Pads with Wings. Why the bloody hell do they need wings? Now she again looked into my face and gave me that same infuriating chuckle the doctor had a few hours earlier.

“Okay, big guy, let’s go upstairs and talk with your daughter.”

“Um … I can wait here.”

She tucked her arm in mine. “Oh, no you don’t. She needs to feel comfortable about this stuff around her father.”

“Give me one minute.” I ran back into the store and bought one pink rose. At our suite, I set it aside and hoped I could escape but Emily told me to stay put, she’d get Valerie all cleaned up then call. I felt like a man trapped in a cage.

“Come on in,” Emily said in what seemed like only minutes later. But as I neared the room, she slipped out and pulled my collar so I’d lean down. She had no secrets to whisper. She kissed my cheek. “Did you really think I’d make you listen?”

“Thank you, love. Thank you.”

“Now, go talk to her, make her feel special.” I lifted the pink rose and she smiled approval. “You are one terrific dad, Pullo. Now, I gotta run, we’ve got major plumbing issues and I need to talk with Kim.”

My lovely little girl looked rather small and embarrassed in her bed and I did not wish her to feel so. I handed her the rose and sat at her side.

“What’s this for?”

“That’s because you are growing to be a beautiful young woman, sweetheart.”

She smiled then shrugged and I noticed that the chicken pox were spreading up her neck. “Daddy … I was so scared. I thought … I thought I was going to die like mommy.”

My heart nearly stopped but then her pretty brown eyes met mine. “I was scared because I didn’t want to leave you all alone. But I’m not going to die … so we’re okay.”

Tears blurred my vision. “Yes, my little love. We’re okay.”

KIM

Emily and I spent the entire weekend together, holed up in our little room at the Inn. Believe it or not, we didn’t spend our entire time naked and in bed; that’s actually planned for next weekend when Chef Chris has the Manager on Call honors. What did occupy a lot of our attention were the continuing plumbing issues that have been plaguing the Inn with alarming regularity. It’s to be expected; old building and old pipes have a way of making their needs known. And right now, we have four clogged toilets on the first level and no running water on half of the third floor. The left tower was taking a beating. One of the plumbers still hadn’t shown after promising to be here first thing Monday morning, and the other bloke is some young kid not long out of high school.

While Emily rushed over to the meeting room to give a quick briefing about the plumbing issues to the housekeeping staff, I took a moment to go over my morning e-mails on my laptop before tackling any other yet to be announced emergencies. More messages from various contractors interested in submitting bids, but none from any reputable plumbing companies; one from a telecom vendor who promised state of the art communication service and yet another from a confectioner in Quebec who I think was asking us to consider using their line of chocolate. I made a note to have Emmy look into that one; her French is impeccable and I only end up sounding like a bad imitation of Inspector Clouseau. I had just finished forwarding the message to her e-mail when the instant messenger window popped up on the right corner of my screen.

This surprised me because I hadn’t used IM in several weeks, and it only served as an annoying reminder that I still hadn’t come clean to Emmy. I was about to delete the message when a sharp rapping on the office door pulled my attention. I didn’t even have a chance to respond when the door opened and my mouth dropped open at the sight of who was standing there.

“Bloody hell, is that Jeff Mitchell?” I jumped up and rushed to meet him.

“G’day mate.” He smiled and held out his hand. “I heard a rumor that you’d moved up in the world and I had to see for myself.”

Cheeky bastard. He must have heard about what had happened in New York, but I was ready for a bit of verbal sparring. I gave him a quick once over; he looked good. A little older like all of us, but well rested, you know?

“Moved up, my arse. I got bloody sacked, but I reckon I’ve been doing okay out here in the wilds of Vermont. But enough about me … what the bloody hell are you doing here? Did you get a message from Biebe?” My first thought was that John had carried out his intent to get in touch with all the other brothers, but Jeff was shaking his head.

“No, I came unannounced on my own. Hadn’t seen the place in a while and I had some free time on my hands and all …”

I asked the obvious question. “Are you here alone?” Not that I really cared one way or another about his choice of traveling companion, but I just wanted to be prepared for what to expect. His mouth tightened just a little and he nodded his head.

“I’m kinda traveling solo these days, mate.”

I didn’t press for details, not being sure if he’d offer any and knowing that I’d probably end up feeling a bit uncomfortable if he did. Don’t get me wrong; I’m okay with Jeff and I always have been. But, well, you know.

“Are you planning to stick around for a bit, or just passing through? You know, Riley’s gonna love getting her hands on you, and there’s a lot that’s been happening that you should know about.”

His eyebrows shot up and he seemed intrigued. “I got no plans to speak of. Just felt like touching base with the family after … well, let’s just say that I have nothing keeping me from staying as long as I like.” Again, the vague reference to being on his own. “When you say that a lot has been happening … is everyone okay?”

A furrowed look of concern came over his face, but I was quick to try and set him at ease. “Yeah, everyone’s fine.” I glanced at my watch; Emmy’s meeting with housekeeping should be over soon. I could introduce her to Jeff and we could both catch him up on all the craziness. “You know, I’d like to introduce you to someone. She’s just about finished with a meeting, and we can fill you in on everything over coffee and a Danish. Interested?”

“Uh, sure, but you said that Riley’d be wanting to see me …”

I ushered him out of the office ahead of me. “We can catch up with Riley right after. She’s got the baby keeping her busy in the mornings. You haven’t seen baby Terrence Nathan yet, have you?” We made our way down the hallway towards the front lobby and that’s when I had another idea. Damn ripper of a good one, too. “Hey, did you bring your tools with you by any chance?”

Jeff turned and gave me a knowing smile. “Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. Don’t go anywhere without ‘em. Why?”

I just grinned. “We’ll talk about it over coffee. So, you did say that your visit was open ended, didn’t you?”

EMILY

I rushed to the office, still smiling over Valerie and Pullo’s little predicament. There was a note on my keyboard from Kim.

Meet me in the breakfast room, I have a bonzer surprise for you.
Kim

I smiled even more. It seemed everything about Kim was a bit of a surprise these days. I lifted the phone to check for messages and as I jotted the important ones down to take with me; I kept hearing that irritating bong from the Yahoo Instant Messaging coming from the other side of the partition. I finished writing the number for the third message, hung up and went to check Kim’s computer. Maybe someone important was trying to reach him? Maybe … one can only hope … a certified plumber?

But as I looked at the Yahoo window, I swear I was starting to see red! I thumped down in his chair and scrolled the messages to the top.

VermontPonyGal: Hey, you there cowboy?

VermontPonyGal: Yoo hoo! NYSE411? Are you there?

VermontPonyGal: Well, NYSE411 … I was hoping we could hook up again? Maybe take another ride around the corral?

VermontPonyGal: Damn. Guess you’re not there. Give me a buzz. I’m feeling frisky. I’ll be here all day, close to the computer and waiting with baited breath. Hee ha!

I stood, crumpled the pink message sheets in my hand and charged for the breakfast room. It was crowded but I spotted Kim, all cool and neat with his perfect hair and his suit and his damn perfect tie. I stormed the table and glared down.

“Ah … Emmy … this is Jeff Mitchell, he’s –”

“Hi,” I hissed without looking at the man then threw the pink message ball right into Kim’s half-eaten raspberry Danish. “Ah … Kim,” I scowled. “You may want to check your IM … NYSE411! It seems VermontPonyGal is looking for you!”

I was blistering mad! I walked right out of the breakfast room full of guests and right out of the Inn. The whole way home I shouted at the dashboard. “I’m not going to cry! I’m not going to cry! That bastard! I’m not going to cry over him!”

ANTONY

My cell phone rang and I grinned. The entire morning I had been fighting chills and a headache and seeing that my lovely Claudia was calling for me made me suddenly feel much better.

“Come home, Antony,” she said softly. “Come home, now.”

It removed all the misery from my body to hear those words and I quickly left my small observation office and went upstairs to our room, sure she would have a pleasant surprise for me, sure it would warm my chills and make me feel wonderful. Grinning I entered quietly, visions of my love naked and awaiting me in our bed, but …

She quickly sat me on the mattress and felt my brow, slid a thermometer into my mouth and paced, concern on her face.

“What is it?”

“Quiet. Be quiet for a few more minutes.”

This certainly was not the reception I was expecting and not the way I was used to being treated upon rushing home at her command. She finally slid the glass thermometer from my mouth and sighed.

“What?”

“You need to get into bed, dear. You’re sick.”

“Sick? This is foolishness. I have a mere headache, nothing more.”

“No, Antony. I’ve checked with the family and you haven’t been inoculated. You have chicken pox.”

“A pox!” My heart climbed up my throat and I leapt to my feet. “A pox!”

“Calm down,” she pushed me back to the mattress and I suddenly felt as though I were about to die! “Chicken pox, Antony. It’s a childhood disease and fairly common, but you have never been inoculated against it. All the children have it. The twins, little Nathan. Valerie. Even Ruthie. And I’m sure … you have it too. Now please rest. This will not be pretty.”

I glared at the ceiling. Damn all the gods! I have a pox!

JOHN

Damn, this day couldn’t turn out more fucked up if it tried; a crying, polka dot baby, a panicked wife and a plumbing disaster threatening to shut us down! But I still had something important to do, even with all that going on.  

I finally tracked down Wade, knowing he’d returned last night and wanting to discuss the proposal Sheriff Mike had for him. Yeah, yeah, who’d’a ever thunk Ben Wade would be Sheriff of anything except maybe hell? But this is a good idea, a very strong plan. It had promise of keeping the man out of trouble, taking advantage of his not-so-well hidden good side … and giving him some solid footing in this world. Looked like he’d need it, especially since he came back without his woman.

I found him in his room and he grudgingly let me inside. I’d brought a pot of coffee from room service and poured. “You look like shit. Didn’t realize the drive to Connecticut was so hard.”

“It is when you’ve fucked up. What do ya want, John?”

I shrugged. “Just to welcome you home.” I watched the scowl crawl across his face and cleared my throat. “It is your home, Ben. And … this town has a need for you. But before we go into that, I need to warn you –”

“Warn me? Has that asshole sheriff been around here again?” He slammed down his coffee mug.

“Yeah, but this is a different kinda warning. I strongly suggest you steer clear of Antony and anyone under three feet tall. They’re all sick with chicken pox and trust me, you don’t want it. Claudia’s gonna get around to you as soon as she can to give you a shot, maybe keep you from getting it.”

“Can a man die from … chicken pox?”

“No,” I growled. “But his dick could fall off.”

“Fucker,” he hissed but chuckled. “I don’t need no shot.”

“All the same, you’ll take it. It’s the only way to take care of you. And besides, you can’t get sick … you need to register with the county tomorrow.”

“What the hell for?”

“It’s the final day to register to run for Sheriff of Stowe.”

He laughed so hard, coffee shot from his nose.

“Yeah, I thought it was kinda funny at first too, then Mike explained that even without running, you just might win on a write in vote, so you may as well get yourself on the roster. It’s either you or some fancy city prick no one likes. You can beat him hands down.”

Ben sat on his bed, leaned back against the headboard and tilted a glare. “Now why in hell would I wanna be sheriff of this town?”

“Because.” I stood and headed for the door. “I’ve got some issues to handle. Stay put ‘til Claudia gets here and I’ll pick you up at nine sharp tomorrow morning to go to the courthouse.

“John … I don’t wanna be sheriff.”

I turned, grinned. “Everyone wants to be sheriff. Trust me, it’s easier than robbing trains these days.”

CORY

We got back to the Inn less than nine hours after we’d left, our suitcases still packed with the same shit we’d loaded carelessly into them for the flight home … only to discover that this is home!

Now, to explain it all. We went straight to the Biebe’s apartment and found Riley frazzled and walking a crying baby who looked like he’d marked himself with a red Sharpie.

“What the fuck?” I groaned and reached for him, poor Riles looked like she’d drop from exhaustion.

“Chicken pox,” she said and started a pot of coffee. “All the kids have it. Looks like Valerie brought it home from school. Oh Jesus, tell me you both have had it, please?”

We nodded and Daisy tried to soothe little Nathan, walking him around and cooing like women do.

“What happened? I thought you’d be in LA already?” Riley sighed.

“Um … well,” I reached for the mugs on the high shelf while she pulled cream for the coffee. “We decided to stay here.”

“Here?” Riley stood in front of the opened refrigerator looking like a deer in the headlights.

“Yeah … if that’s okay.”

“My God!” she set down the cream and wrapped her arms around my neck. That’s better than okay! Perfect. Um … only problem is we’re very short on rooms.”

“We understand,” Daisy said, the baby finally quiet in her arms, laying his head on her shoulder and looking God awful miserable. “We don’t want to impose. Just thought you might know a place we can stay until we get work and an apartment and stuff … sheesh, Riles, he’s hot.”

“I just gave him Tylenol, he should cool down in a bit. Then he’ll sleep a while. Uh … where were we … oh, a place to stay. Sure, there are lots of inns and hotels around but I want you here. We’re not fully booked … we’re just unable to use a block of rooms in the left tower. Plumbing problems. It should straighten out as soon as we can get a plumber to work on it.” She took the baby from Daisy’s arms and left the kitchen, returning a few moments later, scratching her chin.

“About jobs … Daisy, you got one. Please get down to the pub and handle the bar. John’s been trying to cover and handle other shit at the same time. It’s not working.”

“Yay, it’s the job I wanted! Later babe!” she kissed me and almost ran out of the apartment.

I pulled out a kitchen chair and pushed Riley down into it. Poured her coffee and sat, just waiting to see if she’d fall asleep or something. She didn’t.

“A place to stay,” she said, looking around. “Terry’s leaving today. You’ll stay here in our guest room. That should work fine until we get things sorted out in the left tower.”

I thought about that a minute and chuckled.

“What?”

“The left tower. You don’t think granddad is messing with the plumbing, do you?”

“All the time I knew Bud White, I swear I never once saw him with a plumber’s wrench in his hand … unless he was about to beat someone senseless with it. I think he’s innocent of this one.” She grinned, propped her head in her hand. “What are you going to do here in Vermont, Cory? This isn’t exactly Hollywood.”

“No clue,” I shrugged. “Tell you what I’ll do right now though. You go take a nap and I’ll keep an eye on little chicken pox boy. Sound good to you?”

She smiled, stood and kissed the top of my head. “Just like your grandfather …” I assume she yawned. “Always taking care of us ladies. Thanks so much. Wake me in an hour, I’m supposed to have lunch with Terry.”

TRACY PINKERTON

I swear to God I had no clue what I was doing, quitting the best job I ever had and driving all the way to fucking Vermont! I’d like to say I was doing it against my will, against my better judgment and my grandmother would soon hear me say I told you so at a very high volume. I’d like to say I was just doing it to prove myself right, that the worst man on the planet for me is Ben Wade. I’d like to say a  lot of things, but what I will say is that I’ve never felt the way I felt when he told me he wanted me back, that he needed me. It was like he’d struck a hidden tuning fork in my gut and it hadn’t stopped ringing since.

I planned everything. How I’d yell at him, what I’d say. I even planned a route home that he couldn’t follow … if he had a mind to follow me after all that.

But when I knocked on his door and he opened it, all the anger I’d cultivated during the long drive, all the rehearsed harsh words just flew out of my head and I simply stood there.

“Now what?” I said in a small voice and he wrapped me into his arms, turning me into the room and taking me to his bed. Jesus, now how the hell was I going to get all my frustrations out? Nothing but the pleasure he could give lay ahead and I … well, I just gave myself to it. I’ll deal with the rest tomorrow. For now, I was in the arms of the only man I ever really loved. And I could actually hear my grandmother’s voice inside my head.

“I told you so,” she said.

TERRY

I always take Riles out to lunch right before I leave Vermont. It’s like a ritual, a chance to say farewell and feed my need to know she’ll be fine. Yeah, she’s always safe in John’s care, but an ego like mine needs fed once in a while. She’s always been good for that. Always.

Needless to say, going to our favorite pub in town was outta the question with the current epidemic and a sick nipper at home, so I popped into Stowe and ordered lunch to take back to the apartment. I was surprised to see Cory there.

“Hey, mate. What the bloody hell are you doin’ here?” I grinned and set the bags on the counter.

“I … uh … live here?”

“Is that a question or a decision?”

“Both,” he rubbed his Bud White butch hair and shrugged.

I chuckled. “This bloody place attracts Crowes like bees to honey. I just saw Jeff Mitchell downstairs.”

“Jeff Mitchell?” His mouth twisted. “Oh, the fag?”

“Yeah, but this poofter is a master plumber. The Biebes should be thrilled. Speak of the Biebes, where’s Riles?”

“She’s with the baby. I’m heading downstairs to have lunch with Daisy. Hey, have a safe trip to New York, Terry.”

“Will do.” I said, glad to see him walk out.

I headed for the baby’s room as Riles came out. “Hi,” she said real sweet and I hugged her tight.

“How ya holding up, Florence Nightingale?”

“Fine. Cory watched Nathan so I got a little rest. Oh, I smell fettuccini.”

“Only the best for you, darlin’. I’m gonna check on the nipper.”

I stood at my godson’s bed and pushed his thick dark hair from his warm brow. The poor little bugger looked miserable, but at least he was sleeping. It’ll all pass in a few days, but still it’s hard to see. It’s hard to leave too. But it’s time. Past time for me to be moving on.

Riles and me sat at the table and ate quietly. I was remembering all the other goodbye lunches we’d had over the years. After she’d lost the first baby, in that other time after every visit. And there I was again, leaving, and like most times, I had no idea what I’d be facing. Life changes and the challenges only get tougher.

“We been through a lot, you and me, gamer.”

“Yeah, we have. Um … Terry, I wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me … again. You seem to always be here to take care of me when I’m most scared and lost. Why is that?”

I shrugged, took the empty plates to the sink and pulled two beers from the fridge. “It’s what mates do, Riley.”

“Is that what we are?”

I couldn’t answer. God only knows what me and Riley are. More than friends … less than lovers … but not that much less than lovers and again I realized it was well past time for me to leave. But I had to voice it … it was choking at the back of my throat. “All these years … all the games … all the comfort we’ve been able to offer each other … you ever wondered, Riles? Wondered if things were … different?”

“What?” she slowly spun her bottle on the table top, watching my eyes while I watched hers. “Wondered if you and I ever …?”

“Yeah, ever wondered?”

“Of course I have. But you know it would have never, ever worked. You would drive me mad … being gone all the time. Hell, John was only gone for two weeks and I was a basket case. When he was lost in the avalanche, I nearly lost my mind. If you and I were together, I’d have probably killed you or myself by now,” she smiled and I grunted, rubbed my eyes and took another gulp.

“You’re spot on with that, love.” But truth be told … I never wondered about killing her, about her making me mental. It never occurred to me that if I had the strongest pull to her long ago, it might not have lasted forever. The problem lived in her apartment and slept in her bed. My brother John had the pull, he has the love and the commitment and the perfect chemistry for Riley. Always had. If he was anyone else, I can’t say what I might have done to change it. Nothing matched like John and Riley. And … I’d be an idiot not to see that.

“Are you going to be okay, Terry?”

Ah, the question I dreaded. “Sure. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, buddy. This time, tell me the truth. Are you going to be okay?”

I looked into her eyes, opened my mouth but for a few seconds, nothing came out. Then … the truth like only she could get it outta me. “I don’t know, love. I honestly don’t know.”

Her fingers touched my nearly numb hand at the edge of the cast and I wished I could feel her warmth. “Terry, can I tell you something I know about you?”

Here it comes, I thought and squeezed my eyes tight. “Shoot.”

“I have never known a more resilient man. A stronger or more empowered soul, nor a heart so worthy of being loved. You hide behind that armor of yours and think no one knows, but we do. We know who you are and what you’re capable of. Maybe with this injury, you’ll be forced to see it yourself, now that you’ll be putting aside your Rambo lifestyle for a while.”

I blinked, groaned.

“I love you Terry. I always have and I always will. I need you to be happy and loved, safe and adored the way you deserve to be. Promise me you’ll try.”

I nodded.

“No, this time really promise me. Really mean it. Because Terry, we’re not getting younger, you know. And the Portal’s message was as clear as a bell. This is your life, the only one you’re ever going to have. I need to know you’ll start living it. Enough with taking care of the world. It’s time to take care of you.”

Fuck all, far more than I was willing to swallow. But I did it. Did it like I always do. I made her the promise and I accepted that she was seeing all the bloody shit I’m always hiding. I glanced at the wall clock. Fuck. Two o’clock and I had to leave. I stood and lowered a kiss to the top of her head. “I gotta run, darlin’. Takin’ the shuttle to Burlington for my flight.”

She stood as I gathered my bags. “I wish I could drive you.”

“No. You’ve got responsibilities here. Listen. You take care of that nipper. You take care of John and most of all … you take care of you. I’ll pop by in a few months, I’ll keep in touch. You just …” and I did something I wasn’t planning. I kissed her. Kissed her sweet and long and when it was done our foreheads touched and we both chuckled. “Well now, that was dumb, wasn’t it?”

“It was dumb,” she licked her lips. “But it was nice. Remember, you promised. Find your heart, nurture it and let it show you the way, Terry.”

I was sitting alone in the shuttle as it pulled through the big front gates before I let myself lick my own lips. Find my heart? Nurture it? Let it show me the way? Now how the bloody hell was I gonna do that without her guidance?