TERRY

I woke because it was so quiet. Normally, I’d roll over on the uncomfortable sofa and inevitably hear Riley softly crying from the bedroom. Was she alright? I stood at the door and watched her, sound asleep with the baby in her arms. Fuck all, I was suddenly washed over with a feeling of loss, facing the fact that even if I could stick around and help her through, it was gonna be hell without John. I climbed onto the bed and spooned behind her, held her close and whispered that I love her, that we all love her and I drifted to sleep too.

“Hey, Terry!” hissed a voice and I turned, saw a form standing not far from the bed. I reached for the lamp.

“No! Don’t wake her, you idiot. But you gotta get outta that bed, pronto.”

I blinked, recognizing that voice and rolled my eyes. Just what I bloody needed at four in the fuckin’ morning. Brian, my personal ghost. “Bugger off,” I hissed and turned to cuddle against Riles again. It felt too good being there next to her, made me feel kinda whole. She was real. Brian wasn’t.

“I ain’t kidding you, Thorne,” whispered the apparition. “You better get outta that bed fast. Surprise is coming and you do not wanna be doing that.”

That was it. Ghost or not I was taking a swing. I was groggy and exhausted, my hand was throbbing and I had no interest in this bloody crap. I stood and took a step. Brian was sorta transparent, grinning like a Cheshire cat and I narrowed my eyes. He just pointed to the bed and I turned.

She was beautiful like that, babe in arms, so peaceful and quiet, calm. Then I saw what had to be impossible. Slowly … so fuckin’ slowly … exactly where I was sleeping and exactly in the same position … spooned warmly against Riley … the entire body came into view. It was John, fully clothed in a heavy sweater, jeans, boots that actually looked wet. I swear, I could feel the fucking Alaska cold coming off of him. I reached my left palm down, hovering an inch from his head and there was the warmth. Fuck all! He was there! Solid, real and sleeping like a baby. I felt a tear roll down my face. My brother was alive and back!

“Told ya,” chuckled Brian quietly and I silently left the room, turning back to take one more look then close the bedroom door.

My heart was thumping hard, forcing blood trough my veins and making my hand throb even more. I went to the kitchen but even as I was filling a glass with water to take a dose of pain meds, I was thinking I imagined it, maybe dreamed it. I swallowed pills and water then turned and nearly jumped outta my skin.

John was standing in the dark living room looking right at me. “Fuck!” I hissed. “John. Bloody hell!” In two steps I had him in my arms. It was a massive bear hug and I thunked my cast against the back of his head in the process. “You’re here, mate. Jesus fuckin’ Christ, you’re back!”

“How many are gone?” John grunted and stepped back, deep worry creasing his brow.

“No one. We’re all here. All hoping and prayin’ and waiting for you. What the fuck? Are you alright?”

John pushed his hair back and shook his head. “We all gotta get together right now, man. There’s a shit load of stuff we need to talk about.”

“Oh hell no,” I pointed to the bedroom door. “It’s four in the monin’. Not now. You get back in there, mate. She’s had a terrible time and you need to go back in there and hold her.”

He looked relieved, like all he needed was someone to tell him it was okay.

“And John,” I said as he headed to his family. “You hold her, hold her tight and don’t you ever let her go.”

PULLO

“Daddy?” came the soft little voice and I blinked, sat up quickly and switched on the lamp.

“Valerie? You okay, love? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she grinned, her eyes sleepy and she gave a monstrous yawn. “I just woke up and knew … so I wanted to tell you. Everything’s okay now.” She climbed onto the bed beside me and I kissed her brow.

“Sweetheart, don’t you want to sleep in your own bed?”

Silence.

“Valerie?” Sound asleep, poor thing. I stood and cradled her, carried her across to her own room and tucked her in. She whimpered and I sighed. “Hush now, little one. You’re right, honey. Everything is going to be fine.”

“It’s fine. It’s all fine,” another yawn. “It’s all over, daddy.” And she drifted off again.

I sat and watched her sleep, feeling my own mortality, my own precarious hold on this world and began to seriously wonder if the others were correct, if perhaps I should not have been so forthcoming with everything going on. Valerie is just a child, and not a child of my time. Vorenus’ children were acutely aware of death and the hard things of life. Granted, Valerie had lost her mother, but her sensibilities were quite different than I am accustomed to seeing.

Perhaps I was wrong to be so open with her. Perhaps I should have shielded her from this. And … perhaps I’m not so well suited for raising a twenty-first century child as I had imagined. Fear rippled through me at the thought of letting Lesley down, at not being able to follow through and bring this child to adulthood. I had so many hopes, so many dreams for little Valerie. Dreams even her mother never had. But now, I fear even permitting them into my mind … at any moment … I may well be gone like brother John Biebe.

Just yesterday, I’d made arrangements with Claudia who simply nodded kindly but with full disbelief that any of it might actually happen. She agreed that she would take Valerie should I be taken and I fully trust that she will raise her well. Hopefully if it happens to me, Antony would remain to assist in the task. He also has promised to help bring Valerie up safe and strong. But in private, he too had come to me with a request to watch over Claudia as Terry is watching over Riley. This is all most frightening.

Should we all be taken, only our women and children would remain. Should a few of us be snapped away, the others would naturally care for those left behind. It was as war. And … it is even more horrifying as I face no enemy I can identify or overcome.

EMILY

I awoke sometime before three AM, curled up on the couch in Kim’s room at the Inn. We were up late talking about nothing and everything over a large pepperoni pizza, washed down with a six pack of beer.

Rolling over onto my side I realized that he had covered me up with his jacket sometime after I’d fallen asleep. It’s funny – I clearly remember Kim offering me one of his tee shirts as makeshift pajamas, but I don’t remember the moment I actually dozed off. The scent of his cologne mingled with the scent of wool from his coat and as I buried my nose in the satin lining and inhaled deeply, I couldn’t help but smile; it’s funny how a man’s own personal scent can actually smell better than an Armani fragrance, proving once again the power of a man’s seductive natural body chemistry.

Lord, how far he and I have come in our relationship. Well, I guess now I really can refer to it as a relationship, especially after the uncertainty we’ve all experienced over these past two weeks. He’s allowed me to see his fear and vulnerability, proving that he’s more than an especially arrogant jerk with a finely coiffed, designer-attired persona. Want to know something? I’ve been secretly hoping for this to happen all along. Yeah, he can be a complete pisser on some of the best occasions, but underneath all that posturing lays the heart of a man whose whole is better than the sum of his parts.

What did we talk about last night that gave me such an enlightened view of his true character? Well, nothing and everything, but by the time I passed out I learned more about him in six hours than I had after having worked beside him for the past five months; what I had already known about him was fine tuned to a more forgiving sense of clarity.

For starters, he has a lovely singing voice. I know this because we spent a good portion of the evening reminiscing over the subject of TV theme songs. We may have grown up on different continents and in different decades, but what’s amazing is how much we share in common. When I’d asked him what his favorite childhood cartoon had been he surprised me by singing the theme song to Yogi Bear! He then had me rolling on the floor when he channeled Yogi’s voice and asked me if I knew where he could find some pick-i-nick baskets. He then hit back and asked me to sing the theme song from my favorite cartoon and I answered with the lyrics from Scooby Doo. I wish I could say that my singing voice was nearly as impressive as his had been.

I’ve never heard a man giggle quite the way Kim can. I mean, who knew he even had a sense of humor? The corner of his eyes crinkle up when he laughs and a woman could easily find herself falling into the radiance of his smile. I’d always considered him handsome – let’s face it, all these men are – but his normal cocky arrogance was overshadowed by the revelation that underneath it all, he’s wickedly funny when he lets his guard down long enough to allow his human vulnerabilities to show through.

As I shifted my position once again, I could see the outline of his profile; his proud aquiline nose and the cocky jut of his chin clearly visible beneath the kiss of silver moonlight. The rhythm of his breathing and the rustle of sheets and blankets as he rolled over onto his side caught me wishing that I’d had the nerve to crawl into bed beside him and curl up against the warmth of his back. I could almost imagine the sensation of nuzzling my nose against the nape of his neck as I kissed that very sensitive spot and reassured him that there was one person who would miss him terribly if he were unfortunate enough to suffer the same fate as our beloved John Biebe. Kim pushes those who might care for him away but he’s only succeeded in pulling me closer.

KIM
     
I came awake slowly, knowing that once again I’d beaten the bloody alarm. I couldn’t complain too much though; as my eyes opened the first thing they focused on was the still sleeping form of Emily, curled up on the couch across from me underneath the blanket of my coat.

She may be just shy of five feet tall, but she has such glorious long legs, the kind a bloke likes to imagine finding himself between. Don’t get me wrong; Emily is all over attractive, but to wake up from a dream where I imagined her curled up in bed behind me, well, let’s just say that I was thankful that the blanket was covering me up to my waist; seeing the long creamy stretch of her thighs poking out from beneath my coat didn’t help silence my imagination one bit. 

I came so close to confessing the truth to her last night, but something made me hold back just at the very moment when I wanted nothing more than to completely bare my soul and receive the absolution that only she could provide. Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she told me about how she had grown up wishing that she was tall and blond, wanting more than anything to blend in with her waspish school mates. She confided that she knew the only way she could stand out as anything other than a cute little Filipino girl stereotype was to throw herself into her studies and cultivate her intelligence. What I find so amazing is that she seems to have no idea as to just how gorgeous and sexy she really is; I almost married one of those waspish blonds and having also had my fair share of variety all around, I can honestly say that not one of them could hold a candle to Emily’s dark loveliness.

Or maybe it was how she giggled over my admitting that I had an imaginary friend named Pookie Jim when I was still a sprout; he was a green kangaroo who wore a pith helmet and liked to chew bubble gum. It’s kind of hard to confess to anything serious after that, and to be honest, it felt so bloody good to let my guard down over all that’s been going on these past couple weeks and just laugh over something really silly. If it wasn’t for her, I’d probably be spending my time down in the bar with Ben Wade, drowning my fears over all of our fates. I had no one when I came here; the one thing that stood out when all of this happened is that most all of us have someone to lean on. Thorne’s taken up with looking after Riley, Andy has Monna, Curry has his dark eyed sheila who’s so obviously in love with him that I wouldn’t be surprised if she glowed in the dark; I suddenly felt  sorry for Wade. He’s no more immune from this than any of us, and I haven’t noticed him seeking anyone’s company of late. I might have been just like him, but Emily saved me from that fate.

I know I have to tell her. Tell her that I’m NYSE411. I really have to tell her.

And I will tell her.

Soon.

JOHN

The stillness, the silence of the Inn, the scent of home and the energy of this place almost knocked me for a loop. Waking beside Riley, I held my breath, making sure it wasn’t a dream, but in truth, the whole time I struggled in Mystery I never once dreamed. Just hoped and prayed, but no dreams at all.

Terry was right. First things had to come first and I needed something so bad it hurt. I needed to be with Riles and my son. Baby Terrence Nathan Biebe, who for some reason inside my head had suddenly simply become Nathan. I was fine with Terry being my son’s godfather, trusted him completely with my son’s future. But for some reason I no longer wanted to call the little boy ‘baby T’ or even ‘Terrence Nathan’. Some reason?

Nah, let’s face facts. Thorne was taking care of Riley. He was with her, in my apartment, for all I know, in my bed too. No, I’m not thinking for one minute he did anything. Mainly because if I let myself think he did, I’d have to go out there and kill his sorry ass, injured hand and all, it wouldn’t matter to me. No, not only wouldn’t he make that move, I doubt Riles would let him. So … putting those ugly thoughts aside (ugly thoughts that were in my head the whole time I was away, mind you) I figured to just move ahead with things. First things first.

I stripped off the clothes I was wearing when it finally happened and I got shifted back home. I took a quick, hot shower and slid under the sheets. God, touching her was all I cared about, even though I know damn well my head should’ve been on other things. I slid my hand to her waist and around. Nope, my Riley wasn’t even considering such things with Thorne … she was wearing those ugly flannel pajamas and I grinned, slithered my fingers beneath the hem of the button down top and nearly got my lights knocked out.

“Hey!” She jerked awake and snapped up, sitting and glaring down at me and I just grinned, tears in my eyes as she gasped and dropped over me. “John! Oh God, John!”

Nathan started to whimper and for a moment we just ignored him. He rose to his knees, watched us for a few minutes then wriggled off the bed, toddling his tired little body into his nursery. I chuckled and followed, lifted him into his little bed and he fell asleep almost immediately. Guess my coming home wasn’t all that big a deal for him.

That’s when I felt her arms snake around me from behind and damned if she hadn’t eliminated the silly pajamas. Yeah, we had some catching up to do and it was perfect. And I found myself wondering how many times in our lives Riles and me were gonna go through this sort of thing, this almost losing each other and finding our way home sorta thing. It was always hell, hell after the avalanche, hell after she lost our first baby, hell when I almost stepped into that bad place, you know the one on the old maps … beyond this place be monsters? In my case, beyond that place be other, unworthy women. No place for a man like me, and even after I ventured there, Riley took me back. Granted, this making up and rekindling stuff was great, but I’m really hoping for some down time with the drama. I’m getting too old for this kinda shit. I want easy, comfortable, contented from now on.

Oh yeah, it was fantastic, hot and exciting and so goddamn right. We lay there panting to catch our breath, touching each other, holding on for dear life when finally she asked.

“What happened, John?”

“Nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing. Nothing you might think happened. Terry said no one else is gone, right?”

“All here, even Nash has come to try to figure out how to get you back. Jack’s been handing everything and –”

“How long was I gone?”

“Two weeks.”

I blinked, disbelieving. I could’ve sworn I was gone for months.

“How did you get back, John?”

Her dark eyes were deep in mine and I wanted to pour it all out, but I decided it was best to just wait. So, I told her the most important part.  “You brought me back, baby. You. But right now, all I wanna do is be with you. I don’t wanna talk or think or worry about anything. I just want to love you.”

I think we finally wore each other out by around six, but at eight my eyes popped opened. It was time to get this show on the road. I went out and looked down at Thorne, sound asleep on my sofa and wondered why he wasn’t just sleeping in the guest room. I glanced over my shoulder at the closed bedroom door. Was Riley so messed up that he was afraid to be too far away? Or …

Nope, can’t go there. I reached down and shook his shoulder. “Terry, I need you to do a few things, man.”

He grumbled, rubbed his eyes and sat up, glaring with a squint at me before he finally chuckled. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

He nodded and yawned. “The meds. Still kinda groggy. What’s up?”

“Listen, tell Jack I’m back and have him get everyone together at two. Tell them to meet me in the left tower room. Wives, kids, everyone.”

“Okay, but …”

Yeah, yeah, he probably wanted to know why I wouldn’t do my own calling and arranging. But Terry surprised me.

“Listen to me, mate. You take it slow. Get your ducks in line. When we all get together, there’s gonna be a deluge of questions and concerns, so make sure you’re ready for it.” He groaned and stood, rolled his shoulder and rubbed the exposed fingers on his casted hand.

“How is it?”

“This?” he wiggled the bird at me. “Fuckin’ sucks, but the least of our concerns. I’ll take care of getting the info to Jack then get my arse outta here. I can crash with someone else.”

“What happened to your room?”

Terry snorted a laugh. “Your bloody Inn is booked solid with family and guests.”

“Stay in our guest room then,” I grunted and went to make coffee.

“Nothin’ happened, ya know.” Terry said behind me, leaning against the counter with one of those serious K&R curls on his brow.

“I know.”

“Okay,” he scratched his ass and yawned then headed for the bathroom.

I poured him a mug of coffee and readied to rejoin my family. Looked up and Terry was still standing there.

“Ya know, she was never gonna give up hope, John. Me? I’d have been fine without ya, I might make a good Inn keeper.”

“Fuck you,” I grinned and called before he walked out to cross the hall. “Hey Thorne?”

“Yeah?” He didn’t turn.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

JACK

Before my marriage, I had grown accustomed to my morning coffee, a peaceful quiet in which to plan the strategy for the day. A gentle easing into the morning to be savored as one would savor a fine brew, strong, hot and hearty.

That time is no more and I’ll not see the likes of it in the foreseeable future. The twins have become mobile and noisy. Breakfast is now a raucous time full of baby talk, cries, flying porridge and squirming escapees. Fighting the Acheron was less stressful than breakfast with little Chelsea and Catherine.

It was during a particularly trying breakfast that Terry knocked unexpectedly at our door. Natalie insisted he come in for coffee, and I hid my smile at his reaction to our table. He actually took a step back when Catherine reached out to him from her high chair, cold porridge dripping from her hands and smeared on her face.

Natalie giggled, “She likes her Uncle Terry! She’d love for you to hold her.”

Terry just nodded. “Um, no thanks, love. That’s okay. Can’t stay long, maybe another time. Just wanted to let you know that John’s home.”

Natalie let out a whoop of joy, jumped up and hugged Terry. “He’s home!” she cried.

Me? I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my heart. I took Terry’s good left hand and shook. “Heartily glad to hear it, heartily glad.” My soul, however, was heavy. In such a short time, I had lost hope. How could I have been so faithless?

After kisses to all the Aubrey women, and indeed Terry did hold Catherine once Natalie cleaned her face and hands, I walked him to the door. “How is he, Terry? I’d like to speak with him.”

“Well, mate, he’s fine. He wants to talk to all of us together this afternoon at two in the left tower. Besides,” he smiled, “Riley’s probably giving him a bonzer welcome home of her own at the moment.”

I chuckled. “Yes, yes. That’s as it should be. So, two o’clock then?”

“Yeah, let the rest of the family know.” I nodded and he added that he was going for a bit of a kip and he’d see us later.

I closed the door and pondered again at my faithlessness. I wandered back to Natalie as she was placing the children in their playpen and began clearing the table. I leaned against the doorpost and watched her. “You were right, m’dear.”

She didn’t turn to me, but teased. “I’m always right. You should know that …” It was then that she saw my face. “Jack,” she said as she put down the bowls. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“I lost hope. Hope in my brother’s safe return.”

She kissed me and said, “You could have so easily been right though, Jack. Under the circumstances, you needed to be practical.”

“Practical,” I sighed, shaking my head. “I let the family down. I let you down.”

She took my face in her hands. “You didn’t let any of us down, sweetheart. Especially not me.” She kissed me and I held her tightly. Maybe she is right and practicality was the answer. But … I cannot shake this heavy heart.

JEFF

It’s funny how quickly we learn to adapt to unpleasant situations, especially when there is very little one can do to change the particular outcome. No one knows if John will ever come back and there’s the gaping question that most of us are afraid to spend much time examining; what happened after he disappeared? Just because some of us have shared the experience of being pulled back into our former lives in no way indicates that what we saw briefly back on that other plane was what awaited us once we arrived. I can’t help but draw a parallel between this unknown void and Dante’s nine levels of hell.

In spite of all this uncertainty, we’re going through the motions of attempting to live our lives with some sense of purpose other than allowing the paralyzing fear of the unknown to govern our every moment. Riley has finally emerged from her fog of grief to tend to her and John’s son, and the rest of us try to follow her lead. We look after one another with clearer, kinder eyes, not knowing how or when John will reappear. Gemma Kane seems to feel that he shall, but we haven’t spoken of this to anyone. The last thing we need is an outbreak of false hope; I can’t begin to imagine the devastation if it doesn’t come to pass.

Filling in as manager has provided an outlet for much of my own anxiety. While the blanket of fear is always with us, it’s harder to allow it much power when you’re dealing with the day to day business of running a highly successful Inn. The employees need to know that nothing is amiss, and even if John’s disappearance has started to fuel the rumor mill, there’s still a job to be done. This morning was no different as I made my way into the employee’s kitchen for my second cup of coffee. Emily and Kim were there ordering breakfast, looking bright eyed and far more interested in one another than the bagel and cinnamon roll they had just ordered. I was happy to see Kim connecting with someone; he’s damn good at what he does, but he tends to put most folks off with his often overbearing arrogance. I always get a kick over how Emily stands up to him and he just backs down as if he knows he’s met his match. Maybe something positive will develop from all of this after all.

My cell phone started vibrating and when I saw the caller ID I figured it was simply Aubrey giving me a morning report about Riley, but the news was far better than I could have ever imagined. John was back!

Jack didn’t offer many details other than to say that John was currently with his wife and that there was going to be a meeting in the left tower for all of us at two. I told Jack that I’d inform Kim and ended up suggesting that he and Emily take their time with breakfast. Emily looked as if she were about to cry and Kim actually swept her up and spun her around, smiling and laughing all the while. Yes, I definitely think there’s something going between those two…

I decided right then that Kelly needed a bit of swooping up and twirling around of her own. I might as well take my time with breakfast as too.

BEN

Eight forty-five and I was late. I needed to be at the Greyhound Station by nine thirty to catch the bus to a place called Hartford, Connecticut. I had all the information on a folded piece of paper in my pocket. I found her, found Tracy and no matter what, I was gonna go get her back.

The finding her part was easier than I thought. On that library computer, I was able to look up all the Tracy Pinkertons in Connecticut. Turned out there were only two, and one was a newborn. My Tracy had luckily just got herself a new telephone number and from that, I was able to track her down like an Apache tracker. No, finding her was easy, it was the getting’ outta the Inn part that was a problem.

First there was an issue with Lachlan. Turned out he took a tumble in his suite and his pretty lady came a’runnin’ for help. No, that took just a few minutes to fix, but from there it was Pullo, askin’ if I’d keep an eye on little Valerie for a few hours, then it was the Captain looking for some help for Antony. This kinda stuff went on day after day for more than a week and I didn’t think it was right to just go off and leave the family struggling. So I stuck around.

Aside from playing helper at the Inn, I was doing some hiding from Sheriff Mike who’d taken to lookin’ for me right there. Got myself into helping in the kitchen and even carrying luggage for guests. Whatever it took to avoid that asshole was fine with me, although getting outta town would’ve been the best solution for sure. 

As time passed, things seem to settle a bit. Everyone was still worried about Biebe, but it seemed best for us all to just keep moving on. So that was it. I was leaving for Connecticut come hell or high water.

“Ben!”

Shit! I turned to see that White kid running to catch me. “Yeah?” I scowled.

“Fuck, he’s back. John’s back and he wants to see us all at two in that left tower room.”

Couldn’t help but smile, but now that he was back, couldn’t I just get on with what I wanted to be doing? “What’s he want? Can’t he talk to me when I get back?”

“Hell no, we all gotta be there. I bet he has lots we gotta hear.” He took my suitcase and headed back inside. I stood on the porch and dropped my head.

“Sorry darlin’,” I whispered. “But I’m tryin’ to get to you, I swear it.”

JESSIE

I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave over Lachlan and make everything return to as it was before the accident. The doctors say that he will heal, but it’s gonna take time. None of his injuries were devastating beyond repair however his body won’t be quite the same, either. He still has that annoying ringing in his left ear and he’s been told that it may very well be something that he’ll simply have to cope with and learn to endure. He may always have a slight limp because of the break in his ankle and the hardware yet to be installed in his knee, but even that’s uncertain. He’s been told to just take it a day at a time, but that’s exactly what we have been doing ever since this nightmare began. We honestly don’t know how many days we have left to us.

I try to always be calm and cheerful for his sake, and to be honest, it’s beginning to take its toll. I want nothing more than to rage at God and anyone else who will listen over the complete cruelty and unfairness of this whole situation, but since I never listen to folks having temper tantrums I figure maybe God feels the same. I know I have a lot of nerve to have any complaint at all, especially since it wasn’t Lachlan who disappeared into this strange Portal vortex before my very eyes, but it’s so hard to watch him brood; he’s normally so sweet and easy going and maybe I needed to see this side of him. Maybe I needed to be reminded that even knights in shining armor can have a bad day when faced with battling an unknown dragon.

He shifts between wanting nothing but my undivided attention and holding me away at arm’s length. I understand this, I really do. He’s afraid that I’ll get tired of looking after an invalid, but nothing could be further from the truth. I love him so much that it makes my joints ache when I think of the possibility of losing him. His body will heal; and if the Portal would just leave us all alone to live our lives here in peace his heart and soul will heal as well. I know something that no one else knows yet, but I don’t dare say a word. I can only ask for patience as I watch this crippling uncertainty borne from another dimension wreaks havoc upon all of us. 

LACHLAN

I know how hard this has been on Jess. First thing this morning I’d almost had her in tears when all she’d been trying to do was help me feel better and forget about all this crap hanging over our heads. We were lying in bed; both awake with the knowledge that there were no plans to do much of anything but continue to worry as our day unfolded before us. I knew she was in the mood for a cuddle; she always is first thing in the morning, and believe me, I’ve never had a reason to complain. But since last night I’ve been overcome with this weight of knowledge that nothing is ever really under our control and it was still with me on waking. When she slid her hand beneath the covers and reached between my legs I rolled away, perhaps a little too quickly. I wanted to apologize and tell her that at that moment I just couldn’t, but something stopped me. It was almost as if I wanted to hurt her feelings.

Things didn’t improve. I lumbered a little too quickly out of bed, stepping on Kahlua’s tail in the process. You’d think he’d know not to get underfoot by now, but he yowled like an injured kitten and Jessie threw me an angry look as she scooped him up to offer comfort. Then I got angry all over again because I wanted to be comforted as well. It didn’t matter that I’d pushed her away earlier. It was like I wanted her to want to coddle me and yet I also wanted her to know that I didn’t want or need her coddling. Whatever’s happening, I seem to have tapped into the mother lode of bad behavior. I can be a real bastard when I want to be.

After making sure the cat was all right, she gave me a look that made me feel lower than dirt before she headed off into the bathroom. I listened to the shower as it came on from behind the door and considered going in to apologize, but right then my cell phone rang. 

After Jack relayed the incredible news about John’s return, I sat there for only a moment before clunking over to the bathroom, relieved to find that Jess had left the door unlocked. She didn’t hear me come in, despite the clunking of my cast and brace, and the look on her face when I pushed aside the shower door was far lovelier than I deserved. Of course, her being all wet and slippery naked didn’t hurt my improved mood any and when I told her that John was back, and well, let’s just say that I ended up getting all wet and slippery right along with her; funny how I’d never before realized just how helpful those grip bars installed along the shower wall could be.

I wonder how long it will take before my cast starts to dry?

JOHN

Like he had since he woke, Nathan was attached to me, wrapped like a spider monkey and I wasn’t complaining any. Once or twice Riles extracted him so I could use the bathroom, but that sure didn’t last. So much for thinking my son didn’t miss me.

We were ready but I held off, didn’t leave our apartment until a few minutes after two on purpose. I wanted to make sure they were all there and I had a little stop to make on the way. We stood at Gemma Kane’s door and she gasped, held her heart and blinked back a tear. I shifted Nathan to the other hip and sighed.

“You care to hear what happened?”

“Oh yes!”

“Well, I only intend to tell it once, so come on. We’re all meeting in the tower room.” Again Riley reached for Nathan and he whimpered.

“No! Daddy!”

I shrugged, rubbed his back and we climbed the stairs. The room was packed. Wade rose from his place on the benches along the walls and offered his seat to Gemma then stood against the closed door. I went in the center of the room, turned a full circle and whispered to Nathan.

“Hey buddy, don’t you wanna play with the girls?”

He glanced to the floor where Valerie and Little Ruthie were playing patty cake while Chelsea pulled Catherine’s skirt to keep her from crawling away.

“No,” my son said quietly and laid his head on my shoulder.

“It’s okay.” I sighed and looked at the faces around me. “It’s okay.” Hando and Colin looked scared. Dino was cocky as hell and slouched on the bench. I spotted Nash and stepped close to reach out a hand. He stood and humbly shook it. “Hey, man. Thanks for being here.” He nodded and returned to his seat. Terry stood, tugged Riley’s hand to take his place and went to stand beside Wade. Valerie moved to sit on Pullo’s knee and Ruthie led the twins to creep on all fours around the room, skirting feet along the way. Finally Nathan’s curiosity got the better of him and he let me put him down to join in. My eyes fell on Lachlan and I gasped. “Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?”

“Long story, mate. Long story. This is Jessie.”

“Nice to meet you,” I took her hand and she smiled. Beside them, Kim was sitting close to Emily with his arm around her. Huh, seemed romance can happen even in the worst of situations, ay?

“So,” I sighed, pushed a hand through my hair. “Before I start, has anyone had a vision since I’ve been gone?”

They looked to each other then all shook their heads.

“Good. Okay. First off, I wanna thank you all for taking care of the Inn,” I looked to Jeff and Jack then turned to Terry. “For watching over my family and my livelihood so well. You gotta know how much I appreciate it. Thanks. Now … I’m gonna tell you what happened.” I started slowly, explaining every aspect of my discoveries and frustrations, the irritation of the constant, imperfect loop that kept playing over and over and how no matter what I fucking did, no matter how hard I tried … I couldn’t change it. “It’s not real, guys. It’s absolutely nothing you wanna go back to, I swear.”

“How on earth did you get back?” Stephen asked and I grinned.

“Well, I kept focused on this place, on my life here, the Inn, my family. All of you. But I just couldn’t figure it out. I’m ashamed to admit, I almost gave up. Then I got a strange message from a pretty unexpected source. SID, of all people.”

“SID’s behind this?” spat Dino and I raised my hands to quiet them all.

“No, he’s not behind it. But he found a way to breach the Portal and get a message to me, right thought my fucking television. He told me … he told me to look for the door. So I foolishly thought the door must have been the exact moment I arrived in that dimension and I waited for that moment and tried to hope myself home. That didn’t work, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t the door at all. The door,” I looked into Riley’s beautiful dark eyes. “The door was you, baby. I found a way to write your name on a piece of paper and every chance I got I looked at that piece of paper. The first time the Portal sucked me in I thought, oh man, this is it, I’m going home, but no go. I was asked what lesson I learned. It took three fucking tries before I finally had the right answers. Three times pulled into that vortex before I had it together … and now I’m here to tell you all what I know.”

The room was silent, even the kids had stopped playing to watch and listen.

“Listen, trust me, I understand. Not one of us hasn’t thought about going back at least once since we got here. Some of us planned to try; some of us even went to the place where we believed our Portal was and intended to go through. Life can be a bitch, man and I understand. We all thought there was something to go back to. But I’m here to tell you … there ain’t. It’s nothing you think it is. It’s a series of … I dunno … movie scenes playing over and over and there’s nothing there at all. But, that wasn’t the entire lesson, though as I see it, that alone should certainly be enough to keep us all from looking for fucking Portals. That wasn’t nearly the lesson.

“Listen to me, guys and listen good. The Portal isn’t something maniacal or evil or anything like that. In a way, it’s actually given us all this gift and I kinda think that with the influx of guys thinking about heading back, maybe it got a little pissed off. See this right here, right in front of you … this is it, brothers. This. This is our life, good, bad, hard or easy. This is the only life we’ve got … the only life we ever actually had. If you’re not pleased with it … then tough shit. Fix it. Deal with it. Face it like men. But one thing you can never, ever do is even think about taking the ride back to that other life … or we’re all fucked. Period.”

I watched their faces, could read exactly who was feeling guilty, who was feeling stupid and who was facing the truth.

“Another thing. Bud and Cort didn’t go through their Portal. They did a little time travel and that too ain’t nothing to be messing with. I’m sure Nash here can tell you all the dangers of letting your minds go places they aren’t supposed to go. These two Portals are off limits. Period. Got it?”

Eyes were big, heads nodded and a few whispered to one another.

“And that’s not all of it,” all eyes shot back to me. “We’ve got a responsibility to all of us. There are a lot of brothers we’re not in contact with. East, Dom, Johnnie, Alex. Not to mention Braddock, Skinner and Richie. We need to get in touch with everyone, tell them what we know to protect us all. Terry, I’m hoping you, Dino and Zack can help us out with that.”

“Absolutely.”

I nodded, groaned a sigh. “Okay … any questions?”

“Yes,” Natalie stood.

“Shoot, sweetheart.”

“Can I get a hug?”