TERRY

A week had passed and it was rough going. Nash was working day and night to solve the puzzle with Jeff and Stephen, but I got the impression they’re all pretty baffled. Truth is, at this point in the game, we’re all starting to wonder if we were ever gonna figure it out. Granted we all have our personal concerns, some have wives or sweethearts they can’t bear losing, and a few, like me, got nothing at all but that didn’t make it look any more appealing, mind you. Not one of us wants to go.

Then there was Biebe. The poor bloke had no choice and I was starting to wonder if maybe he was the sacrificial lamb at the Portal’s altar. Starting to think that maybe he’d never be coming back but we might all be safe because of it. It was a fuckin’ horrible thought … but there it was, just under the thin layer of everything. Looking at Riley … I fuckin’ hated that thought, but I couldn’t shake it either.

For seven solid days she’d vacillated between being calm and being terrified, being hopeful and mourning her loss. Last time I saw her like that was after that avalanche almost took him. She was a bloody mess, but she held strong. Just like back then, she refused meds, determined to be together when John showed up. And I was thinking that just maybe she was the only one left thinkin’ like that. Good onya, darlin’. You hold on for all of us.

This morning was the worst yet. For some reason she woke in tears and it hadn’t stopped since. I been sleeping on the sofa, leaving her bedroom door open every night and just listening to her cry. This has to be the worst. If John had died, we’d have buried him by now and she’d be on the road to acceptance. If he was missing, we’d all be holding on to every word the police or the kidnap and ransom blokes were telling us. But this? This was like trying to smile in hell.

The only people aware that John was taken were holding their tongues, even among ourselves … and the others honestly believed he was just out of town. But a decision was gonna need to be made soon. Stowe’s a small town and they were gonna get suspicious. They like John Biebe and aren’t likely to accept that he’d simply disappeared without a trace. How the bloody hell were we gonna explain why no one, not even his wife, had filed a missing person’s report? Yeah, soon we needed to make a few decisions. But in the meantime, I had Riley to occupy my energy.

She sobbed so hard, refusing to eat any breakfast and getting too weak to get outta bed. My bloody heart was about to crack in two. I crawled on the mattress with her, just held her close and let her cry. It was fuckin’ hard not to cry myself. How the bloody hell did we get ourselves into this? Who pissed off the Portal? What started it all? Just thinking about it gave me a screaming headache. 

That was it, I needed at break. I needed to spend a few hours away from Riley before I voiced her and my worst fears and maybe really pushed her over the edge. I couldn’t bear that, causing her to hurt even more.

Mere was coming that afternoon to sit with her, and me … I had full intentions of getting my sorry arse good and bloody pissed down in the pub.

MERE

I guess I should have been surprised when I saw Terry on the bed with Riles but I wasn’t. Granted, he was on top of the blankets and she was under them, but he was holding her like a lover, like a friend who adored her and cared for her and in a weird way, I was pretty grateful. John should be too. After all, we’ve been so damn preoccupied with our own fears, who the hell was going to take care of her if Terry didn’t step up to the plate?

I quietly put the groceries I’d brought on the counter and started making lunch. When Terry came out, he kissed the top of my head and sat with a groan. “Where’s Hando?” he asked.

I grinned and twisted opened a beer for him. “Under lock and key after his little disappearing act. I’ve left him with Ruthie downstairs in our room. She’s not gonna let him out of her site.”

Terry chuckled but I think after it was all straightened out, we all kind of understood. After John was taken, H got scared and he went somewhere to think. Granted he didn’t tell any of us he was leaving and Colin went nuts looking everywhere he could think of, tearing the garage apart and sending the guys out on a search. I was the one who figured it out; pretty much knew where he must have gone.

There’s a place on the river where he always goes to work through things. Maybe all the panic was foolish and maybe I should’ve looked there first, but under the circumstances … you know? When I found him I just sat, quiet at his side for a long time before telling him that he’d sent everyone into a tailspin searching. That was the first time it occurred to him that we might have thought he was taken and man, he was so sorry. And … he should be. We called Carrie and Colin and packed up what we all needed and came to the Inn. This was a time to be together.

I went to the sofa and gathered Terry’s sheets and blankets to toss them into the washer and that’s when the thought hit me like a bullet. What if John never did get back? What if this really wasn’t going to work out fine? Oh good God, was Terry already thinking like that? Was he maybe setting some boundaries? Marking a territory? Making a home for himself? I guess it wouldn’t be the worse thing; he was alone, Riles would be alone, Baby T was his godson. But shit … would he actually start that entire process of sliding into John’s place so soon? I glared at the back of his head from the laundry cubby.

Nah. I mean, if he was, he wasn’t aware of it, he couldn’t be. This was Terry and we could always count on Terry to do the right thing. Right? And … who was to say that might not be the right thing? Either way …

“What’s gonna happen to Riles?” I sighed and he was at my side, his arm tugging me tight. Damn, even winged and bandaged, he was good at this scared woman/knight in shining armor thing, knew exactly what to do.

“Riley’s gonna be fine, love. John’s comin’ home and Riley is gonna be fine. Don’t worry.”

I sniffled and added detergent to the washing machine. “Where’s the baby?”

“Across the hall, he’s playin’ with Jack’s twins, but he might need to come back soon. When she wakes, she’s gonna want him. Fuck Mere,” he groaned and ran a hand down his chin. “I swear that nipper is the only thing holding her together right now.”

Yeah, I thought. That little nipper and you.

“Hey,” Terry said as he reached for the fabric softener high on the shelf above the dryer. “Ya think you can handle things here for a few hours this afternoon. I kinda need …”

“A break?”

“Yeah.”

I rose on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Go, have a few drinks.”

“I plan to have more than a few,” he smiled.

GEMMA

It was about three in the afternoon when I tracked down Stephen and Nash and Jeff. It had been a whole week and I’d been mulling over a few strong feelings about the various Portals I saw and it was time to share my thoughts. Marla had mentioned that Dr. Maturin and Jeff Wigand were meeting with John Nash in his suite so I simply went up there and knocked on the door.

It was Stephan who let me inside and did a rather formal introduction to John Nash. I have to admit, I was in awe. Granted, this man, looking startlingly like most of the other in the flock of Crowes, was a re-embodiment of the real John Nash, but everything about him was shockingly similar to the real deal. I was welcomed into the living room and offered a seat and a cup of coffee.

“No, no coffee, thank you. Gentlemen, I’ve come because I’ve had an … idea … rolling inside my head since the experience in the left tower and I wanted to share it with you.” I looked at Nash, his knee was bouncing and his eyes were glazed over and I wondered if he was even listening. His thoughts were probably saturated with numbers and equations and maybe I was just wasting his time. Jeff Wigand spoke.

“Whatever you have, Ms. Kane, we’re looking forward to hearing. We’ve been going around the same calculations for days and anything that can shift the process is more than welcome. I for one would love to hear your thoughts before I’m called away again with some Inn … challenge.”

Wigand had been literally everywhere lately, covering every possible need the Inn had and working to the bone in an effort to assure the place ran as smoothly as it had when Mr. Biebe was here. He was doing a sterling job, and I understood his desire for me to be succinct in my presentation in hopes of hearing it all before his cell phone chimed for his attention. “Thank you, Dr. Wigand.” I was relieved, and a bit concerned. There was a good possibility that what I had to say just might be of no assistance at all. But …

“I’ve analyzed everything I recall from the Channeling, reviewed the tapes and have come to a rather unmistakable conclusion about the differences in the Portals I witnessed.”

“Portals?” Nash’s knee suddenly stilled and his eyes as well as his full attention were now on me.

“Yes, Dr. Nash. Portals. Several of them. One was massive and wild, spewing bright colored lights and what looked and felt like electrical charges. I even smelled the scent of burning sulfur more than once. That was the one who spoke through me. But there were others, all spinning but most serene and pale in comparison. But there was one, a primarily blue one that reminded me of a water funnel, the way it swayed and vacillated. That one seemed to speak to me in a very calm and inviting way.”

Nash slid to the edge of his seat. “How, Mrs. Kane? How did it speak to you?”

“Well,” I cleared my throat. Most intellectuals found it not only incomprehensible but repulsive to accept what people like me studied every day. I needed to choose my words more carefully. “It didn’t speak in words. It … emanated an energy. A very inviting and welcoming energy that felt … well … it felt … nostalgic.”

“Nostalgic?” Wigand asked.

“Yes. Nostalgic. Like the past, like memories. Like …”

“A time Portal?” Nash grunted then jumped to his feet, grabbing a grease pencil and feverishly began to scribble on the large sliding glass door.

“Exactly like a time Portal. My feeling is that that particular Portal is a –”

“Time warp, a worm hole, a quantum avenue,” interrupted Nash, his hands flashing like lightening on the glass. “Go on Mrs. Kane.”

I’m not a missus and not accustomed to being addressed so. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t, and never had been married. It was irrelevant under the circumstances and wouldn’t change his way of addressing me anyway so I just continued.

“My theory is that Bud White and Cort did not go through Mr. White’s original Portal at all, that they rather luckily … or perhaps by cosmic design … were pulled instead through time. To the past. The fact that they both traversed the Portal with their women, both did so under desperate situations and managed to land in the same time and place is curious, but not impossible … if that was the Portal’s desire.”

Nash had turned from the window and he, along with the other two doctors were staring at me like I was the second coming. So I just kept talking.

“Furthermore, I believe that when Mr. O’Leary went through the exact same time Portal to make a careful use of stock market investments, logic dictates that he managed the whole thing with the time Portal’s assistance. And I think in all cases, that time travel Portal helped those people because they were using it for a good reason. Mr. O’Leary needed money to help settle the various brothers arriving … Mr. White was escaping with his woman, soon to be his wife, from men who wished to kill him … and Cort took his future wife for the same reason.”

“Huh,” Wigand grunted. “This makes sense … but why would a Portal help them?”

“I have a theory on that too,” I grinned. “See, I honestly think that Portals are in place to help … and … the original Portal that brought you all here is also here to help. Of course, under the circumstances, it doesn’t feel like that, but I have a strong feeling it’s actually doing this for a good reason. Do you recall the message?” I looked to Wigand and he nodded.

“I am the Portal and lessons are to be learned … Lessons will answer all … Lessons will open the eyes and close the doors. Lessons,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget those words.”

“Well, I understand that figuring out how Bud White managed to go through a Portal and eventually sire a son who sired a son whose outside helping the gardener this very moment is all well and good … but it doesn’t help get Mr. Biebe back.” I sighed and looked at them all. “I have one more theory, one I don’t think any of us are going to like much.”

“John Biebe is coming back, Mrs. Kane,” spouted Nash.

“Yes, you may be right … but I have a very strong feeling that nothing you gentlemen or I can possibly do will help him. I honestly believe that no one can bring back Mr. Biebe … except John Biebe himself. I think he has to learn a lesson and come home to tell you all what the Portal wants you to know.”

The men looked stricken and I understood how they felt. These were the best minds in this family and they just might have no choice but to accept my humble opinion. There was nothing they or any of us could do but wait and hope.

LACHLAN

I’ve been trying like hell to keep my focus and I end up compartmentalizing everything into neat little emotional boxes. We each have our own set of concerns as to how this is going to play out and what happens to everyone afterward, but I only seem to have so much patience left to me. It’s the not knowing that’s driving me crazy.

My military career is over; I can accept this. My injuries will heal and given time I may get back to 100%, but the Marines have their own timetable when it comes to this sort of thing. Any injury that doesn’t bode a full and complete recovery within six month’s time is an expensive liability. Fighter pilots aren’t even supposed to take aspirin before flying, and here I am, looking at a couple of titanium pins in my ankle, not to mention the hardware required to replace my knee. Top that off with physical therapy and we’re looking at probably a year before I’m near top form, and that doesn’t even address the hairline fracture in my hip. Can you just imagine me climbing into a jet with pair of crutches strapped onto my back? I’ll probably get the official request to resign my commission before Labor Day, but I’m okay with that.

It’s comforting to have Jessie here. She dropped everything to follow along and look after me, never complaining over any of it. She’s accepted everything she’s been told about us without disdain or suspicion and I guess it really drives home how much she really loves me. It’s a bit overwhelming; I only wish that our futures weren’t being dictated by some strange fluke of physics. If we come out of this all right, I’m going to do everything in my power to make it all up to her.

I’ve always thought that this would be a nice place to settle down. We haven’t discussed the subject yet, but I’ve caught her gazing at some of the homes for sale here in the area. She’s told me that she’s always had this dream of finding and fixing up an old run down house, the bigger the better. If we somehow figure out what’s happening with the Portal and are able to bring John back, I think I’m going to see how Jessie might feel about living here with me. I think I’ll see how she feels about some other things, too.

JESSIE

“So okay; there’s John, obviously, then Terry, Maximus, Colin, Hando, Ben Wade, Jeffrey, Nash, Andy, Kim, Jack … did I forget anyone?”

I was curled up on the bed next to Lachlan, grilling him on all the various Crowe men that I had met at the Inn so far. I’d discovered that his mood was less intense when I got him to talk about the family and I was darn curious to understand how everyone got along.

“You forgot Zack.” He brought his hand up and playfully flicked my nose.

“Oh yeah, Zack. I haven’t met him yet.”

“He’s a busy guy, especially now.” When he didn’t elaborate I became afraid that I might have stepped into dangerous territory with getting him to talk about the others, but what he said next assured me that he didn’t seem to mind. “You know, aside from the strangeness of our even being here in the first place, we’re all just normal blokes with normal lives and families. The similarities in our appearances aren’t readily noticeable to others outside our group.”

“And why is that, anyway? I mean, it’s just weird.”

“Well, you didn’t think that I looked like anyone else in particular when you first met me, did you? I’m not sure why it works that way, but it just does.”

“I still don’t see the resemblance.” I was teasing, of course. At first I was completely disoriented, almost dizzy from the realization. But after several days of getting used to things, the similarities became less obvious. “I’d know you anywhere.”

“Oh, you think so?” He sounded doubtful. “We’ll have to test that theory sometime.”

He gave me such a devious look that I could only imagine what he was thinking. I decided to turn the tables on him.

“Well, now that you mention it, Colin is awfully attractive. And Jack Aubrey, well, there’s a wonderfully handsome man; so strong and commanding. And then don’t get me started on Ben Wade …”

“ANYONE but Wade.”

“Okay, how about Terry? Hey…OW!”

He’d brought his hand down squarely on my ass in playful warning. “You’d better be joking.”

Figures that I was wearing nothing but a tee shirt and a pair of cotton panties. Lachlan has such big hands and my butt was stinging.  I sat up and looked him straight in the eye, wanting more than anything to help him find the answers that they all were seeking, but all I could do was try and keep his mind on more positive matters.

“Babe, none of them could hold a candle to you, not ever.”

He gave a sad and wistful smile as he reached for me. “I’m glad there’s only one of you.”  

ANTONY

As greater minds work on the extraordinarily complex problem, I am troubled by the simplicity of it. To me it feels like freedom or slavery, like being the conqueror or the conquered. We have been offered no choices here … and could any of us actually escape the danger? Hide from it? And I wondered; could I hide from it?

Coming around the bend to walk the perimeters of the property, I came across Maximus, also walking, deep in thought, concern twisting his brow. “Salve brother.”

“Antony. Are you walking your rounds?”

“No, I am just … walking.”

“Join me so that we may ponder our mutual enemy and attempt to feel strong against it.”

“This feels fucking wrong, Maximus.”

“As are all misguided battles, are they not?”

“I was thinking of a way to hide myself and Claudia. Foolish, I know. Cowardly but a thought all the same.

“Before this was an Inn, when it was nothing more than a massive old structure, tattered and rotting from the elements, I came here at Riley and John’s request. They asked me to tell them what I know of the spirits here.”

“You say the gods have walked here?” I stopped and Maximus turned a knowing eye.

“I cannot say which gods, but most certainly the gods have known this land. They pull together with massive powers from that mountain,” he pointed to the hooked ridge at the top of Mount Mansfield. “They bring many energies here. This is a place of magic, brother. And … a place of messages beyond our understanding.”

We had stopped at a bench at the base of a large oak and sat. Maximus pointed to the ground. “There lies the body of one of those gods, Antony. A miraculous being, a man who became a bear, a bear who walked and spoke as a man. I once went to battle with the bear, and only the clear vision of Riley Biebe was able to hold back my blade and save the creature’s life. Had she not stopped me, that magnificent spirit creature would not have been alive to save John’s life only a few short months later. There is a circle at play here, my friend. A powerful circle that cannot be broken … and I am led to believe that John Biebe is a vital part of that circle. He will return … or we will all be gone.”

Maximus pondered silently for another moment then spoke words I felt in my belly more than heard with my ears.

“You and I need not hide, it would be useless. We are both dead should the Portal choose to take us. These moments in this place and time are all the life we have left to us, General. Bravery and courage are the way … they have always been the way for men like us. That … and trust in the gods.”

JACK

Hope. It is what keeps us going, whether we are in the midst of a heated battle or struggling through a difficulty. But, even hope fades when there is nothing to hope on, and I fear that my brother John is lost to us. It has been a week with no sign; no hint of his return and it is time to face facts. John may never return.

As such, I feel it is time that we move ahead with our lives, take up where we left off. My navigation classes at the university this term have already begun without me, and the Surprise II is being fitted out for our summer cruise without my supervision. As much as I am needed here with my family, I feel the strong pull of the sea and the weight of my obligations.

Natalie though, is of a different opinion. When we spoke this morning on the subject, she was quite astonished that I did not share her belief. Before, in that other life of ours, she and John shared a special connection, one that has continued to this day. She reminded me that it was he who did not give up on her when she was at her lowest point, always seeking her out, even finding her when she attempted to take her own life. Now, when the tables are turned, she refuses to give up hope, to cease believing that John will return.

We must be practical, reasonable, I cautioned her. It is time we plan for what is becoming increasingly obvious: that John’s continued absence is permanent. Of course, I fully expected that she, like a good little wife, would carefully consider my admonitions and take them to heart.

She did not. She informed me of what I could do with my suggestions in such a way that left no doubt as to her way of thinking and her lack of practicality and sensibility in this matter.

This afternoon, I will speak to my remaining brothers on our future plans, to devise a strategy for John’s continued absence. After that, I will speak with my wife and hopefully by then, she will have come round to my way of thinking.

JEFFREY

It was two AM when I arrived back to the room that Kelly and I had been sharing at the Inn, the third evening in a row since I’d been asked to help with the practical matters of running things during John’s absence. I’d almost forgotten how stressful it could be to deal with the day to day demands and annoyances of hotel management, but every crisis that came my way was successfully averted - until the next crisis came along. This evening was especially stressful; Chef Chris had been asking some very pointed questions about the nature of John’s business in Anchorage. I’ve been holding him off with one excuse or another, but the man isn’t stupid. Sooner or later, a decision will have to be made as how to deal with the problem.

I was surprised to find Kelly sitting up in bed waiting for me.

“I didn’t expect to find you still awake.”

The TV was on, but when she turned to me I could tell that she’d been crying. “Hey, what’s all this?”

I sat down on the edge of the bed and she flung herself into my arms.

 “Honey, is everything all right?”

Of course they weren’t all right. John was still missing and none of us knew who might be next or even if he’d even ever come back. Kelly had been such a tower of strength from the beginning, keeping tabs on the children, looking after Valerie and checking on Riley. Her assistant manager had been running the shop in her absence and as far as I knew everything was going as well as could be expected, but apparently I had missed a few things.

She tightened her hold around me. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Honey, we’re all on edge.”

It was then that she started to cry again. I can manage a classroom of thirty unruly teenage girls, deal with uppity housekeeping staff and inquisitive chefs, but I lose it all whenever Kelly starts to cry.

“Sweetheart, I’m right here.” I took her face in my hands and kissed her forehead.

“No, you’re not! You’re looking after everyone and helping to keep things together but you know something? I need you too.”

“Honey, these are extraordinary circumstances and I can’t just walk away from what needs to be done …”

“I’m not asking you to do any of that. I just sit here and worry myself to death every evening. Terry has been looking after Riley, Natalie has Jack and Jessie has Lachlan and Valerie has her father … so okay, I’m being selfish, but I just need to be able to see you for more than a few hours between two and six AM.”

I felt like a cad. I’ve been so busy worrying about everyone and everything else that I forgot to look after Kelly. “Honey, I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you’ve been busy and I love you for doing all that you’ve been doing. Everyone knows that they can depend on you and that makes me so proud.”

“But you need attention, too.”

“Well, yeah.”

“How’s this?” I kissed her, softly at first, but within moments we had slipped out of our clothes and were in each other’s arms underneath the covers. 

“I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you, Jeffrey Wigand.”

I reached over to turn out the nightstand light. “Let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

RILEY

I was warm and comfortable under the blankets; my son cuddled close to my chest and feeling that slow drop into a deep, needed sleep. I confess, at that point I had no more tears, no more thoughts … except of John. I was finished with questioning God and the Portal, myself and the reasons for everything. I knew somewhere deep inside my heart that he was alive and breathing somewhere and I knew, just knew, he was thinking of me. I knew it.