TERRY

I called Lachlan, got him out of bed with a shiela and told him to get his arse to the air strip immediately.

"What's up, mate?" I could hear him shuffling into his clothes.

"Not sure . . . I'll tell ya when we get there. Fuel up. We're heading to Burlington."

"Bloody hell!"

What is it with me anyway? Already I felt myself detaching from the emotion of it all. I was doing my job, being strong for someone facing a terrible situation. Never mind that it was my brother, never mind that it was my Gamer. The facts were the facts. There was simply no other way for me to deal with it.

Ghost or not, things were happening and I needed hold it together. Needless to say, I'd be flying shotgun beside Lachlan. Hell, I had no clue if he even knew Riley was pregnant. And besides that, it wasn't like I'd gotten any information from John. I had no real grasp of what was happening. It was too early for the baby to make its appearance naturally, so all I could think was the worst. Prepare for the toughest case scenario. But fuck, what was that?

A lost baby?

A lost . . . Riley? Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Fuck!"

Lachlan settled into his seat and turned to me. He did his preflight check, taxied and took off. He didn't say a single word till we reached cruising altitude. By then, I'd had a chance to get myself back in order. To readjust my . . . armor.

"Well?" Lachlan asked.

"Maybe we wait till we land, mate."

He groaned, rubbed his eyes. "That bad, huh?"

I didn't answer.

My head was spinning. Fucking Brian had said my brother would need me, but he didn't say a damn word about Riles.

My cell rang. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Thorne? It's Sigrine."

"Yeah," I glanced at Lachlan.

"She's at Burlington General Hospital."

"Thanks," I said cool as hell and hung up.

***

Landing didn't make it any easier for me to explain things to my pilot. I thought about the closeness Lachlan had with Riley, how their friendship began and evolved. How hard he worked to get John and Riles together, and then to keep them together. And I wondered why he never once mentioned anything about their marriage or seeing them since. I just assumed he had. Unlike the rest of us. It was a bafflement. We all knew they got married and after the initial shock, were pleased for them. Most were like me though, just moving ahead with our lives and forgetting to even send a bloody wedding gift. Fuck all, but we are a selfish lot.

I drove the rental and managed to get the first words out as we hit the throughway.

"Lach, when was the last time you saw John and Riles?"

"Why?"

Fuck, he was agitated. I cleared my throat. "Riley . . . she's pregnant. It's been a very rough road for her, mate . . . and it looks like she may have lost the baby, but I can't be sure just yet."

There was a painful silence then suddenly he spoke. "Pull over."

I turned a glare, but his was more vicious than mine. Last thing I wanted to do was take the time to sit and have a nice, calm chat with the bloke. I wanted to get to the fuckin' hospital and I wanted to get there now. "What the fuck, Lach, we're ten minutes from the bloody hospital!"

"Pull the fuck over!"

I slowed and turned into a gas station lot.

"Pop the fuckin' boot, mate." He charged out of the car and actually slammed a fist onto the fender. "Now!" He shouted.

I hit the button and got out. "What the bloody hell are ya doin?"

"I'll get a cab to the airport Holiday Inn. Call when you're ready to head back." And he grabbed his bag, turned and started to walk away. Caught his shoulder and swung him to me.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Your dearest friend in the world is in fucking trouble! She needs you, mate. You can't be serious!"

"She made her choice. Now get the fuck outa my face." He jerked free, I reached again, ducked and his fist just missed my left eye. He turned, I followed.

"What the fuck is going on here? You saying you haven't been in touch with them? You didn't know about the baby?" I hissed into his face. "Or are ya sayin' you don't approve of what they did?"

"All the above, mate. Now get the fuck away from me before I put your bloody arse in the hospital!"

I got into the car. Getting to the hospital was more important and I wasn't wasting time figuring that crazy fucker out.

Sped like a maniac into the oncoming traffic and pressed the pedal to the floor. Got to the hospital waiting area. The only familiar face I saw was that LizBeth woman John used to know. I'd met her once or twice years ago. Riles had told me all about her showing up at the Inn, meeting that Kevin bloke and getting married; a nice happy ending to something that could have turned out disastrous. I looked around again. Fuck, the last time I sat in that hospital there were several of us there, all pulling together for John. How the hell did it get this way? Me and two bloody strangers. I was down right ashamed. LizBeth stood and walked over to me. Her arms went around my neck and I fuckin' panicked.

"Terry, I'm so glad you're here."

RILEY

Beautiful baby Nathan Biebe, so soft and sweet, wiggling in my arms, nuzzling my breast. I counted his fingers and toes. His eyes, blue as the summer sky, his curls, dark like ours.

His toothless smile changed as I watched, tiny pearly teeth showing. His first step from my arms to John's and John's laughter. Nate's hair had lost its baby curls, but fell full and wild like his daddy's. His first pair of ice skates. First day of school. First date.

Nate helping his dad around the Inn; wearing a tall chef's hat and helping me in the kitchen.

Nate's wedding. My tears of joy. My wiggling baby having his own children.

"Riley, sweetheart. Wake up, baby. Please open your eyes. Please," John begged.

"No." I dug for the dream again, mined for the joy I'd never, ever have. My heart cracked and I sobbed till I fell asleep. Sleep. The only place I could hold my baby. No one and nothing had a right to take that away from me.

TERRY

LizBeth and Kevin told me the horror story and as much as I wanted to comfort them, I steeled myself for my brother, knowing he'd need it far more. Knowing I had only so much comfort to give. Fucking Christ, who was going to comfort me?

I stepped outside for a cigarette. Flipped the cell opened and called my partner.

"Dino, gather everyone who'll come to Vermont, quick."

"What's happened?"

"Riley. Pregnant . . . just lost the baby." I dragged desperately at the fag then tossed it away. "It was a seriously high risk pregnancy, mate. When it came down . . ." I wanted to choke, coughed several times and lit another cigarette. "When it all came down, the poor little thing had died in the womb."

"Jesus!"

"More than thirty hours. Then a hemorrhage."

"Fuck, Terry! Is she?"

"She's gonna be okay."

"You seen John yet?"

"No."

"Least you have Lachlan. He'll ease things like he always does for them."

"No mate . . . he bailed."

"What?" I could hear Dino pacing. "Motherfucker!"

"Yeah, well, we got bigger problems. See who'll come support these people, Dino. I don't . . . I'm not sure I can handle this one alone."

"Will do, hang in there. Take care of John, man he's gotta be a fucking mess. Do you think she can handle this?"

"Truth?" I sucked in smoke. "No . . . no."

JOHN

Can't begin to tell you what I was feeling. Or even if I was feeling. The idea of our baby, dead inside of her for more than a day and we didn't even know, turned my stomach. My poor Riley. How will she beat herself up over this? And how, God sakes, how will I ever survive her survival?

She wouldn't talk, wouldn't look at me. Did nothing but cry but they told me that most of it was hormone readjustment. Normal. What the fuck was normal about this? Just after they took the tiny, lifeless thing from her, Doc Conklan looked us square in the eye.

"Listen to me, both of you," he said forcefully. "We all knew this was a possibility. Don't let this stop you." His eyes went to Riley and his mannerism became soft and encouraging. "You are fine, there is no reason you can't conceive again and have a perfectly normal pregnancy and delivery. Absolutely no reason."

It lightened my heart, but the blankness in Riles' eyes was frightening. Well fuck, of course. Immediately after this experience, I'm sure the last thing on her mind was to try again. If she would only talk to me I could try to help her. If she'd only look at me.

I went to the waiting room. Terry took my arm and led me outside. There he lit a cigarette and handed it to me. I fucking never wanted anything more in my life and I dropped my head back and closed my eyes, blew smoke to the sky. He was silent, waiting.

"We're gonna get through this."

He sat beside me on the curb. "Yes, you are. Mate, I'm so sorry."

I cleared my throat. "Someone should call Lachlan."

"Ah, yeah. I'll see if I can locate him."

"I had Sigrine call Mere and Nat. Fuck, I hope someone can get her outta this . . ." I thought I'd break into a thousand pieces, but I didn't. It wasn't the time for that self- indulgent shit. I had more important things to do than cry like a pussy. I needed to keep myself together . . . so that I could figure out what it was going to take to put us back together. I smoked and I fucking babbled, babbled all kinda shit. About how maybe I should have let her have an abortion, how I should have at least considered it. About how it was my fault she didn't tell me about the baby right away. And I was wondering what the hell to do next. Thank God Terry was there, 'cause at that point, I'd have been spouting nonsense to the fucking mailbox, I just needed to talk, ya know.

I remembered that Jeff and the staff were worried sick at the Inn. "Terry," I cleared my throat. "Can you call the Inn, let Jeff know she's okay?"

He nodded and did just that, but the whole time held my arm tight, like I'd drop or fly the fuck away or something. Jesus, I needed to get a grip. Maybe we should have never hoped. Never tried to be so positive. Either way, I was left with a broken wife and had no clue how to fix her this time. Not one fucking clue.

LACHLAN

I felt sick the minute I walked into my hotel room, chundered into the fucking commode and tried to get my head wrapped around it all. Truth? Wasn't sure I could face it. See, I didn't approve of what they did, getting married like that. Yeah, I know they belong together. Know more than anyone else I reckon, but what the fuck? She turned her back on me, on all of us. What kinda friend does that? If she was really a friend she'd have let me know what she was planning, let me at least voice my opinion for fuck's sake. It really hurt to hear about it like that. Second hand and 'oh, by the way'. Bugger that fucking shit! That hurt bloody bad.

And I was getting over it. Workin' up the courage to face them. Hell, in some deep way I was happy for them. Biebe has always been the marrying kinda bloke. I coulda found a way to cope. But now, this?

Fuck! My dearest friend on earth couldn't pick up the bloody phone and talk to me? All the shit she'd told me over the years, all the times she'd turned to me, and this wasn't important enough for me? She had to be going fucking bonkers! Trapped in a bed. Not like she didn't have the time to call. Fuck! How hard was all this for her? And I know her; she was probably trying to be strong for fucking Biebe. But losing the baby? I could hardly begin to think how she was gonna get over this. I know too much about her past to think she might just bounce back.

Took several hours for me to gather myself and think clearly. The bloody bottom line was that I loved her, she was my best friend and she needed me. I'd deal with my own issues about being excluded from her life so abruptly some other time. I needed to pull it all together. And grab a cab to the hospital.

RILEY

"No, I'm not hungry, take it away."

What the hell? What made this people think I wanted to eat? I rolled to my side and closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was sleep.

"Mrs. Biebe, you really should eat something," the nurse said softly.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

And John kept talking, talking about all kinds of things I could care less about. He tried to get me to see LizBeth, wanted me to talk to Terry. Even brought Lachlan into the damn room. I closed my eyes and ignored them all. What did they want from me? Why couldn't they just leave me alone?

Jeff sat at the bedside and tried to convince me to talk to a therapist. Hando walked in and tried to be gruff then Nat and Colin attempted to be cheerful.

And all through it, John cried silently. I know how much he was hurting, but I felt nothing. Nothing at all. Just the emptiness in my belly and the emptiness in my soul.

Why wouldn't they just leave me alone?

Three days later, I found myself in the jeep with John. Believe it or not, I had no idea where he was taking me. As we pulled into the back lot of the Inn, I felt a sudden chill race through me and I wondered. Did they really think I'd be able to go on with my life? Logic filtered through the din in my head and I figured that maybe . . . eventually . . . and I went to bed. I stayed there for so long, I couldn't even tell you. I lost rack of time, days, nights. Everything.

Then I felt it. It was like a fucking earthquake, and I knew someone and something was about to change the comfortable darkness I was living in.

JOHN

I could hardly believe it. They were all there, sitting in our living room quietly, looking at me. Me? Like I had a clue how to fix things. Well, not all of them were there. Glancing at the crowd, some sitting on chairs and sofas, some leaning against walls, a few talking quietly on the deck or looking out the windows and I realized the heartache and losses we'd all experienced.

Bud, accused of murder and chased down like a criminal. He and Darcy gone forever, living in the 1950's and having escaped safely through his portal. Cort and Izzy, with them. Yeah, we all knew they had a good life, but in my heart, they were just gone. Bud. Fuck, he'd have known how to handle this. He always knew how to get her out of the hole. Get her talking. As it was we were all lost. And waiting.

It took Terry a long time to convince me to try this. It wasn't actually an intervention or anything like that. He had a good point too; Max would know what to do. When he'd tracked down Max somewhere in the Middle East and sent for him, I wondered if we were all just nuts. But Max talked to me at length, asked several questions and finally had me pretty sure that his approach just might work. It had to do with so many things I didn't understand about Riley. Things he understood, and I had to marvel.

All that shit I'd always been afraid of poured right over me. My discomfort at having all those others know her better or differently than me, knotted in my guts. But the truth was, those things I was most afraid of, were just possibly going to save her . . . save us.

Max had called from the Burlington airport and was on his way. I ran a hand through my hair and looked at the closed bedroom door. In there was a once vital, alive woman. Half of me wanted to shake her, shout at her, tell her she was being ridiculous, but most of me knew better. The doctors wanted her to see a therapist or even a psychiatrist, put her on meds. She wouldn't agree and I was afraid to push the issue, knowing her need to work through things alone, just like she was. But this had gone on far too long. Knowing her history, it probably wasn't the first time she's hidden so deep, but it very well may be the worst. Would this be the last straw? Suddenly I knew, all that time, worrying about losing her to someone else was stupid. I was facing losing her to her own hell, and that was far more devastating.

Just that morning I woke to find her side of the bed empty and a charge of hope shot through me. But then I found her, sitting in the nursery, holding a wad of baby blankets and rocking silently. I couldn't get them from her, could hardly touch her. It fucking burst my heart and I was afraid that just maybe . . . it was already too late.

Dino handed me a cup of coffee and I went outside to find a cigarette. Colin was happy to offer, but had nothing to say. What the hell was there to say, anyway? Even Nat was silent, rubbing my back and staring out at the mountain. Jack was slouched in one of the lounge chairs; his brow curled and worried, his focus off into the distance. Terry was in the corner, leaning against the railing and looking guilty, only God knows why. Hando was smoking like a chimney and holding Mere who was crying again. None of us even noticed the cold October chill. I remember thinking that this was just too much for me to deal with, all of them at once. It was good to have them around, showing support, but I just wanted to get the fuck away. To think, maybe cry or shout to God or whoever up there cared about us . . . alone where no one could see.

I blew smoke and shook my head. Something horrible was happening and all through it, downstairs we had a thriving business, rocking and rolling right along like not a damn thing had changed.

When Max walked in he looked like hell, his beard was full and his hair a mess. Hell, he was a mess and I wondered if he'd even had a chance to pack or shower before he left Saudi Arabia. His eyes were focused and I could feel them drilling through me. Everyone got quiet and he sat on the overstuffed chair with a groan.

"I would like some coffee . . . then I would like a time of solitude. Brother, is there a room for me?"

"Yeah," I pointed to the guest room. He sipped from a mug and never once seemed to notice or acknowledge anyone around him.

Maximus took his coffee with a grunt and left for his solitude and we all just looked at each other.

***

An hour later, Max opened the guest room door and called to Terry. They were in there a few moments and when Terry came out he explained that everyone should leave the apartment. Everyone but me and Lachlan.

"He wants to talk to you both in there, John," Terry whispered then placed a hand on my shoulder. "Mate, I really believe this will work. But it's not gonna be easy. Trust him. He'll get her through this."

I turned to Lach and led the way into the darkening room. Max was sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd pulled two chairs for us to sit across from him. He'd showered and shaved but still looked exhausted. I sat and tried to smile as Lachlan rubbed his eyes, pacing behind me.

"You sure you're up to whatever you plan on doing?" I asked.

His smile was small and sad, but Max nodded. "Lachlan, sit." It was said kindly, but obviously a direct order. Leaning elbows on knees, Max focused intense eyes on Lach.
"Enough, brother. You're agitation is a personal torment neither you nor I have the time or luxury for. Will you help us or will you choose to leave?"

"Choose?" Lachlan's hackles were up and I sat back, wondering what the hell they were talking about.

"Yes," Max answered. "It is your choice. Your support and relationship with these two troubled people has always been your choice. Choose. And choose now."

Lach seemed to fucking melt in the chair. I heard a painful groan rumble from his chest. "I'm here. What do you need me to do?"

"Good, good." Max rolled his neck then continued. "John, is there a private way up to the left tower?"

"Yeah, the back stairs, why?"

"I have little time to explain, but we will take her there. She has been contemplating taking her own life, John."

I stiffened but his head shook slowly. "She will not." He shuffled his feet and looked at us, one at a time. "You both will be present as support for her. You must not talk or interrupt anything that happens," he groaned quietly. "You will hear and possibly see things you will not understand, but this place will let no harm come to her, you must trust me about this."

"Why am I here?" Lachlan said so quietly I could hardly hear him. "What can I possibly do to help this situation?"

"You are here because you need to be, how you will assist is yet to be determined. But I warn you, Lachlan. Do not enter that room with us unless you intend to remain, no matter what develops. Do you understand?"

I turned, watched the torment on Lach's face until he finally nodded agreement.

"And you, John. Your heart will carry the brunt of this process. I do understand that much of this pain and loss has already been placed on your shoulders, but you must be just a bit stronger, brother. Your courage can turn the tide."

"What are you gonna do?" Setting aside my confusion about why the Lachlan needed to be with us, I was starting to feel my guts tighten.

Max opened his palm and nestled there was the bear claw I'd given him, Grandpa Luke's gift, the shapeshifter's power. "Do you remember this?"

I nodded.

"Riley walks with legion, John. Many Spirits watch over her, including your beloved Spirit Bear. This is how I know she will not take her own life; they will not permit her to do so and will protect her in every way possible. But she is lost. Far from our human reach right now. With the help of this," he held the claw between his fingers, "I will attempt to open her mind and bring her home to you. But I can not do this alone. Our brother Lachlan holds a small key, you hold another and this . . . is the final key. Are we ready?"

Hell no I wasn't ready! In fact, I was seriously rethinking that psychiatrist thing. But we all stood and headed for Riley. She was sound asleep and Max simply gathered the blankets around her and lifted her into his arms. We silently walked down the stairs, crossed the back of the house and entered the rear door to the left tower. I never realized how far away we were from that room Riley loved so much, was shocked that the idea had never occurred to me to take her there myself. But watching Max's back on the steps ahead of me, my wife cradled in his arms, I had a strong feeling that he was right. It was going to take the three of us to do this thing. And I could no longer deny the power of Riley's friendship with Lachlan or the strength of her undeniable trust and respect for Max.

"Lock the door," Max said after we entered. He tenderly lay Riley in the center of the room on the soft carpeted floor, then pointed to me and the far corner of the room, and motioned for Lachlan to sit in the opposite corner of the room. Max lowered and settled, cross legged near my wife and closed his eyes.

The sun had long ago dropped behind the mountain and the room was getting dimmer and dimmer. Long, silent moments passed then Riley stirred. She slowly rose herself to sit, facing Max, but her eyes scanned the room, never landing on either me or Lachlan.

"Maximus?" Her voice was so soft, so beautiful to hear it actually hurt. "Why are all these people here?"

I shot a look at Lach and he shrugged nervously.

"They have come to help you, Dear One. And you are not surprised to see me?" He grinned and she responded in kind.

"No," she said shyly. "I knew you were coming."

Max took several deep breaths then set the bear claw on the carpet between them.

Riley gasped quietly, a tear trailing down her face and it took everything inside of me not to go to her, to comfort her.

"Max, I'm afraid," my Riley whispered.

"As am I, Dear One." He sighed quietly. "Permit this, and you will have all your answers."

Riley nodded fearfully, but courageous as hell, she sat straighter and squared her shoulders, released her own sigh.

RILEY

So many of them? Did it take so many of them to do this thing Max wanted me to do? Again I wondered; why won't they leave me alone? My eyes circled the room. Along the cushioned benches were people I'd never seen before and a few I recognized. They seemed solid, but somehow I knew they weren't. There was strong sensation of heat coming from opposite corners of the room that anchored me to reality, and a brisk chill floating to me from the wall of French doors. The mountain was not out there. In fact, nothing was out there but glittering stars, it was as though my house was lifted to the heavens, floating somewhere in the universe.

My eyes were drawn to my right. "Brian? You look different," I said.

"Do I? Sorry." And he smiled.

"What do you want?"

A chuckle drifted through the strange air around me. "Simple, Riles. I want to keep you where you are. It's not much fun where I am, you know."

I felt my face flush. How could anyone know what I was thinking? I settled a gaze on Maximus. A hot light bloomed from Grandpa Luke's bear claw, nearly obscuring my vision, but I knew Max was still there. I could feel him.

"You can't stop me, Brian."

"No, but we can make you see the reasons not to. Just give us a chance, honey. It's all we're asking."

I shrugged, pushed hair from my eyes. There was movement to my left and I turned. I thought my heart would break. It was just a man, old and wrinkled, grey. His paunchy stomach strained at the buttons of his plaid shirt. He actually stood with a groan and walked closer. His eyes, blue green and sparkling seemed dulled, but with each step he changed. Became younger, clearer and I gasped a sob.

"Bud?"

"Yeah baby." He sat cross legged beside Max who never moved or responded to him. "What the fuck are ya doing, Riles?"

My head was spinning. Bud, gone for only a short time, but lived a full, long life. Now as dead as Brian. My mouth was dry, I had no words for him.

"Talk to me, baby. Talk like you used to. Tell me what hurts."

"I can't," tears soaked my face and I wished I could feel his thumbs push them away. Like he used to. "I don't even think I hurt anymore. I don't feel anything at all. Am I already dead?"

"No!" It was a resounding shout from several voices. In that crowd I heard voices I didn't know and voices I did. I heard John. I heard Lachlan and Max. I heard Grandpa Luke growl like the animal he was. Mato Wakan. The Sacred Bear.

Bud shuffled closer, so close I could feel his heat, smell the scent of him. "Baby, John fucking needs you. You have so much more to do."

"Yeah? Like what?" I said.

Shaking his head with that tilt and glare of his, he grinned. "Got some people here I'd like you to meet." And Bud dissipated into the darkness as though he was never there.

A couple stood, I looked up at them and gasped. I knew those people! But how could I? The woman was blond, her hair swept up, soft tendrils drifted to the lace of her high collar. Her skirts were dark blue and trailed to the floor, swept gracefully into a bustle at the back. A lovely pair of diamond earrings sparkled at her delicate ears. She was beautiful.

Beside her stood a dapper looking gentleman. He too was dressed like a wealthy man from a long ago time. All he did was stand, but the woman came close, lowered and knelt at my side, her skirts rustled and billowed like a soft cloud around her. I looked into her eyes. Everything was in there, her life, her love, her hardships and joys.

"I am Genevieve. Do you know me?" Her voice was like honey, sweet and smooth.

"I . . . I think so. You're the one who moved this mansion, right?"

A kind smile brightened her face. "No, Riley. My husband, Michael moved the house. He moved it here to help me to heal. You see, I too lost a child, still born and my first son. I did not think I would ever recover from that heartache. I was inconsolable. But Michael was determined to save me from a mental asylum. He moved this house we loved so much, as carefully as possible. When it had to be cut in two, I thought my very soul was sliced in half, but seeing Michael's extraordinary efforts on my behalf, I bore the pain of seeing our home further destroyed.

"Months and months passed and I tried my hardest to feel again. You see, I truly do understand your pain, my dear. I did all I could to recreate the home we had before the child was lost, before Michael became obsessed with making things right. But how could it be right? Riley, my son was gone and my home was as broken as my heart.

"Michael's work demanded that he travel more and more, leaving me alone in the beautiful, peaceful surroundings here, thinking it would help me. In truth, I was so afraid of the bear, I almost never walked the grounds alone," she chuckled then her eyes toured the room, settling on a shadowy figure and smiling up at it. "Then one afternoon, as I walked back from the pond with our gardener I looked up at my broken house and I saw how to fix it.

"While my husband was away, I contacted a craftsman. I asked him to construct a connecting promenade porch and he refused, explaining that it would not hold, that there was not enough support for it. But I was determined. I wrote to several designers and was finally directed to a man in Germany who found the project exciting and challenging."

She sighed and looked into my eyes. "Lord knows, Riley. It took me longer to find a man to design the connecting structure than it took you and John to recreate everything here. A woman of my time and standing had little pull with men. They thought me mad for even attempting such a thing. But when Michael returned from Europe that fall, the construction was completed. We were healed, Riley. Our home was healed. Michael and I had four children in this house. Four beautiful, healthy children." Her smile was radiant and I realized I'd been holding my breath.

She stood and returned to Michael's side, his arm loving and protective, slid around her tiny waist. "I thought you might like to know about your house. It was not a mansion, Riley. It was our home, and it too has suffered much. This house needs you as much as you and John need it. I beg you, live long and happily here."

"Mama!" It was a call of a small child and I expected her to turn to find it, gather it up in her arms and comfort it, but she simply disappeared along with her husband.

"Thank you, Genevieve," I whispered.

The bear claw began to quietly vibrate and the bright light softened so that I could see Max clearly again. He was unmoving, his eyes closed, oblivious.

"Riley?"

"Yes," I didn't turn, I didn't have to. It was Grandpa Luke. He walked over and stood behind Max then smiled down at me, his long hair was unbraided and loose, his eyes sparkling as though a spotlight was aimed directly at his face. "I miss you, Grandpa Luke," I said foolishly.

"Ah," he chuckled. "But not enough to join me, I hope."

Without warning I started to sob into my hands. "Oh God, this is too hard. I can't, I just can't."

"You can't what?" He said softly. "Go on? There are reasons for you to go on. It's time to get past this, Riley. Did you think I sacrificed myself for John alone?"

"No, no. Of course not. But how am I supposed to just forget about this? I never deserved to be happy, never was worthy of -- "

"Bullshit," Luke spouted and I blinked. "All bullshit and we both know it. Let's put a little real into your reality, niece." He turned to the windowed French doors.

My eyes followed his and there, outside of the panes of glass stood a little toddler. His face was round and glowing, dark waves of hair fell into his eyes and his little hands were pressed against the window.

"Mama!" It called.

I blinked, struggled to keep my heart beating. "Nathan?" The pain inside of me was overwhelming and I'm sure my cry could be heard for miles. "Nathan!" I began to crawl toward the door, past Max and the ghost of Grandpa Luke. But the old man dropped to his knees, forcing my focus on him.

"Mama!" The child cried again and I tried again to get past him, to go to the place my baby was, to hold him, just once, oh Jesus, just once!

"Riley!" Both Max and Luke roared.

I blinked. Looked into Luke's eyes, wondering how he could possibly be so cruel. My sobs were gasps so painful I curled into a ball on the floor.

"Mama!"

Someone's hands soothed my shoulder, but it was Luke's voice that finally reached my soul.

"That is not Nathan, Riley. Nathan is in another place. But you are right to think that the child is yours, because that child will be yours. Will you ask for him? Offer him your love? That's all you have to do, Riley. That and choose to live."

Dawn slowly crept into the room. I sat up, realizing what the old man was telling me. What they were all telling me. Why they wouldn't leave me alone. The crowd of ethereal forms dissolved and all I saw was Max, silent and still before me.

"John?" I croaked. Max looked to the corner and nodded and within the blink of an eye, I was in my husband's arms. "John, it's all right. Everything will be okay."

"I know, I know, baby. Shh." He kissed my eyes and rocked me tight in his embrace. That's when I noticed Lachlan, sitting alone in the other corner and smiling. Was he crying? His eyes were swollen and his clothes were rumpled.

With a groan Max stood and left the room, Lach winked and left with him.

And John loved me the way only he could, with his entire soul.

"We're gonna get through this, Riles. We're gonna be fine."

EPILOG: BUMPS IN THE NIGHT
JOHN

Things weren't instantly 'all right', as a matter of fact it was touch and go for several days, my wife vacillating between wanting to live and wanting to give up in the darkest moments when the reality of our loss got too heavy. It did take the intervention of a therapist and a low dose of meds, but thank God, Riles was willing to try. Within a week, the family began to drift away bit by bit, leave for their own lives, all promising to keep in touch. God sakes, there is nothing like family and I do love ours. Strange as we all are, at least we were all worth loving and being loved.

Terry lingered a few extra days, spending time with Riley or sitting alone in the pub after it closed at night. I never asked him why.

Lachlan made no offers to fly anyone anywhere. He stayed close and did everything he could to help me get life back in order around the Inn. Sometime over that few weeks I did notice something happening. See, Lach was pretty normal most of the time, but whenever Sigrine was anywhere in sight, he turned into a sappy puppy dog. Interesting. Life does go on, ay?

Among the last to leave were Hando and Colin. Nat and Mere took full advantage of the extra time with Riles, and it all started to feel normal. Those three, laughing and joking and doing that female bonding thing. Shopping in town, going out to lunch. The ladies club expanded quickly to include Lizbeth and Monica and there were times when they could be heard giggling from just about any corner of the Inn. It was a happy sound and did a ton to ease my mind, help me to think that just maybe all the bad shit was over.

Colin and Hando had reasons for staying longer. They'd asked me to arrange a meeting with Kevin, and that's when my curiosity was really peeked. Only time will tell what comes of all that.

But by far, the toughest and last parting came the day Wigand packed his bags to leave for a long postponed lecture tour.

"I have no idea how to thank you, Jeff." I shook his hand and knew damn well that without his hard work and loyalty, we would have surely lost everything.

His eyes twinkled. "Name your first boy after me?" Jeff teased, but I stored that away in the back of my mind. It wasn't an unreasonable request.

But would there ever be a first boy? Ever be another baby? Only God and Riley knew. I have never asked her what she saw and learned during that long night in the left tower room. I know what I experienced. Most of it was just a strong sensation that whatever the fuck we were trying to do was right and good for her. Most of the night, if I wasn't watching Riley, I was looking at Lach who was as confused as me.

Some things I did hear though. Sounds nuts, but I fucking swear I hear Bud talking to her. And then that baby's voice, calling 'mama'. And I remember how it took every fucking muscle in my body to keep from going to her when she too heard that call, crawled and was stopped by Max from heading to the fucking fourth floor balcony. My heart was breaking and freaking out at the same moment.

But looking at her now, chatting with a guest at the front desk, a genuine smile on Riley's face, I'm thinking it's time to put all that aside. What happened that night wasn't for me anyway, it was for her. But Riley? Well, she is for me. Mine to have and to hold etc., etc., etc. Time to get on with things ay? Time to take a look at tonight's dinner reservations.