MAXIMUS

My mind was consumed with the things of men and battle and war, for that was truly what we were facing. It was nearly noon before thoughts of Sophia slid through my consciousness and as the good Captain had fair control over the matters at hand, I chose to check on her welfare … along the way wondering if my decision not to tell her of the current dangers was a wise or prudent one. Needless to say, I was soon to learn … it was not.

As I entered our suite she was frantically throwing clothing into her suitcase and cursing potent Italian words in connection with my name. This disturbed me more because of her physical condition than her emotional upset. I chose the path of calm and casually sat on the chair to watch her.

“Mio marito è inconsiderato! È bastardo!” she shouted and tossed a shoe at my head, it blessedly bounced from the wall and tumbled to the floor.

“Sophia, I am neither inconsiderate nor a bastard. I chose to protect you –”

“Protect me! In what way were you protecting me? You could disappear at any moment! You could be gone from my life and I would know nothing of why it has happened!”

“None of us will know anything of why John has gone, my dear one. We will never know why any of us go. What comfort would it have been for you to know the possibilities when the outcome will be the same? If I am taken … I am dead.”

She became shockingly pale but I stayed my course and sat still as the death I had mentioned. Perhaps knowing would have made her feel more informed when she learned of the incident, perhaps I should have realized that keeping her in the dark was unfair, that she would be at a great disadvantage when the women gathered to support each other … something I should have realized was bound to happen under the circumstances. Perhaps … my decision was … wrong? “I only sought to protect you from such knowledge,” I groaned.

“And … how am I to protect you from being taken if I am unaware of the possibilities?” She hissed, her beautiful dark eyes narrowed and her hair wild from the activity.

I smiled sadly. “You can do nothing to stop it, sweet Sophia.”

“Are you so sure? Are you so God forsaken positive that the power of my love can not protect you? Husband! If you have no understanding of what treachery the Portal has in store for you … you have even less understanding of the power of a woman’s love!”

She turned on her heel then shot a glare over her shoulder. “I am going back to offer assistance to Natalie.”

“Sophia,” I sighed. “Perhaps you should be resting?”

“Maximus Decimus Meridius!” she growled my full name for the first time. “You may be a General and you may have been a beloved Gladiator … but at this moment you are a husband who has relinquished his rights to tell me what I should and should not do. You have withheld something important from me … and I will be withholding something …” and tears poured from her eyes.

She elegantly moved into my embrace and melted against me, sobbing softly, crying for us and for John and Riley. Then she straightened herself and rose on her toes to kiss my lips softly.

“I must go and see how I can help.”

I held her hand tight as she turned to leave. “And what will you be withholding from this errant husband, Sophia?”

“I will think about it. For now, do not be far from me. Per favore, il mio amore.”

I followed her to Jack’s suite. Perhaps I needed to believe what she believed ... that her love could hold me to this life.

TERRY

I’ve been through the worst of the worst … in the field as well as facing off with belligerent clients refusing safe measures. It’s what I do. My life isn’t about simplicity; it’s about solving the problem and the problem always comes with an explosion. I always liked John. Biebe’s got a steady sensibility about him, loyal, honest, all those Boy Scout qualities we tease him about but secretly wish we had. We don’t. Not completely. Yeah, I like John, and I couldn’t imagine a better match for Riles.

Now there’s a fuckin’ conundrum. Riley. There’s no way on earth anyone would have put me and her together as best mates. Even Dino shakes his head over it. Riles and me? We’re oil and water, practical and emotional, pragmatic and spiritual, hard and soft. Different as black and white and since the day I met her, I can’t imagine not knowing her. We’ve been lovers; back in that other life we lived. Damn good lovers too. But it was never about that. Something inside her completes me, makes me feel whole and wholesome at once. Feel like exploding and laughing, spitting obscenities and loving her to death. Would I rationally choose Riley as a life partner? Not likely. Not likely at all.
But as a friend and powerful support, I bloody swear I couldn’t live without her. I doubt she even knows what she means to me. Yeah, I griped and moaned about Dino bringing me here after the surgery, but there was nowhere else on the planet I wanted to be. The Inn is home. It’s family and I love my fuckin’ family. And … it’s Riley, from the peaked roof to the flowerbeds at the walkway. It’s her heart and I wanted to be near her heart. Who the fuck else was gonna get me through this permanent damage to my right hand? She doesn’t even have to say anything, just being around her helps. She always finds a way to make me laugh at the bad shit. She’s good at it. But now, it’s her facing the bad shit.

Remembering the looks on all my brother’s faces after what we learned in the left tower, I knew where their minds were going. They had women to worry about; women who were gonna worry about them. Me? Well I got no one. Nada. Bupkus. Yeah, I can adjust to anything, already have. If I got shifted back to my film, I’d have the full use of my hand, have my work and my life but … after Alice … after everything I’ve lost here? Fuck all. How the bloody hell would I thrive if the Portal takes me? And what in God’s good name was John coping with without Riley? Fuck.

I need to think sensibly about this situation. There’s nothin’ I can do for John, but there’s a world of support I can give Riley. Looking practically at my life and … working under the assumption I don’t get taken … that it’s probable John might never come back … I can see a possible comfortable compromise.

Serious love and marriage has never worked for me. Falling deeply in love breaks important elements in my base structure. Elements I can’t fucking afford to work without, even temporarily. Look at my bloody hand, for fuck’s sake. Would I have been injured like that if I wasn’t coping with yet another failed marriage? Nope, marriage to a woman I love more than life is off the agenda. That’s a solemn vow for the remainder of my days and that’s just fine with me. But …

Should John never return … should this injury limit or even change my profession … should it be just me alone … and Riley alone …

No, I shouldn’t go there. I gotta believe that my brother is comin’ home. But … if he didn’t … I would be more than honored to take on the responsibility of the Inn and Riley. More than honored. I may not be fucking deeply, hopelessly in love with her, but I love her completely. It was a possibility I had to seriously think through. She’d need stability if the worse came to pass. And me, I’d need her … like I always have. It could be a perfect balance after the worst upheaval in either of our lives.

I leaned against the bedroom doorjamb and watched her sleep. My gut ached for what she was dealing with. Having watched variations of this sort of loss and pain for years should have made me numb to it, but this was my brother who was missing and my Gamer who was suffering. I sighed and left her to rest just as a tap came at the front door.

“Is she alright?” Pullo stood, big as a house in front of me with little Valerie clinging to his hand. Jesus, I hoped he hadn’t worried that poor kid over this shit.

“Yeah, yeah. She’s resting. Sweetheart?” I eyed Valerie. “Don’t you have school today?”

Her head shook. “My family needs me. Mr. Thorne, did you know that now I have the biggest family I ever had?” She walked right past me and toward the kitchen where she opened the refrigerator and began pulling items to the counter while she kept on talking away. “Before, it was just mommy and me and now … wow … I really have a big family.” She pulled a frying pan from the low cabinet and proceeded to put together cheese sandwiches, melt butter in the warmed pan and talk and talk and talk.

Pullo and I sat at the table and watched her. Bloody hell, the bloke was proud as a peacock but I could see the worry in his eyes. That poor child had already lost her mother, what was gonna happen to her if she lost Pullo too?

“The way I figure it,” she continued while she played little Betty Crocker. “If we stay real strong, this is all going to work out fine. Mr. Biebe will come back and …”

I shot a glare at Pullo and he shrugged. Apparently he felt it was wise to explain it all to the kid. I wouldn’t have taken that fuckin’ route at all.

“It’s kinda like playing on a volleyball team,” she grinned, setting plates of seriously browned toasted cheese sandwiches in front of us and licking her fingers. She poured us each a cup of coffee then turned to make another plate. “See, on a team, of we all stick together and take care of each other, we can actually … hope … somebody to score. It works too!” She turned with a plate in one hand and coffee in another hand. “I’ve seen Markie Franklin actually score because we hoped him to score so bad it hurt! Markie Franklin! And Markie’s only got one arm! So, we just gotta keep hoping for Mr. Beibe. He’ll come home. I just know it.”

She left for Riley’s bedroom and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her lovely sandwich would probably go to waste, that Riley was dead to the world thanks to the blessings of medicinal chemistry. I crunched into the burned offering and sighed.

“She’s a pretty special kid, Pullo.”

“And,” he swallowed the entire charred cheese sandwich in two bites, “she’s right about this. She has a …” he shrugged, “I dunno, a kinda sense about these things. We all hope and stick to believing John’s coming home and he will.”

I finished my lunch and brushed black crumbs from my shirt. “Ya know, if Valerie is up for it, I bet she can be a big help with the nippers.”

“She’d like that, Terry. She’d really like that. She brought us here because she was sure you’d have a plan,” Pullo chuckled. “So was I. So … what is the plan?”

I shrugged. “Hope?”

“Hope,” he nodded his head and repeated. “Hope.”

GEMMA

When Cory told me that already one of the men were gone, had simply disappeared into thin air, I had no idea what to do. My heart ached for Mrs. Biebe and her loss, but then again, I had this massive weight on my chest … guilt. Maybe I should have kept my nose out of it. So …

Why was I heading to that mysterious left tower? I unlocked the door and went inside; felt a mellow buzz of energy and sat on one of the benches along the wall. I cared little if anyone, of this world or another, saw me cry. And that’s what I did, sobbed pitifully into my hands. “What kind of entity could be so fucking cruel?”

“Got no clue,” came a groaning voice and I startled, wondering if I wasn’t the only one seeking solitude to mourn in the tower room. Then I saw him … well, almost saw him. I sniffled and pushed tears away then eyed the nearly solid form sitting nearby, his broad shoulders hunched and his head bowed. Slowly his face raised and I saw the sadness in his eyes, his misery was palpable in the air around him, vibrating and pressing against my senses. His face was strikingly familiar, his eyes, a little more blue than green but unmistakably Cory’s. “You’re Mr. White?”

“Yeah.”

“What did I do wrong?” I sniffled.

He shrugged and grunted and shifted on the bench. “Don’t know if you did it or if I did it or … if maybe the fuckin’ Portal had it planned all along. But we gotta fix this, lady. See, if anyone was gonna go, it sure as hell shouldn’t have been Biebe. He’s got anchors here, ya know?”

I nodded, thinking of his wife and son. “Is there a rhyme or reason to it?”

Another shrug. “When I went through, I took my wife, went by choice and was followed by two dear friends. It didn’t feel the same as coming from there to this world, but,” he chuckled, “didn’t really think it would, ya know? Not like I was paying attention or nothing. I was kinda in a hurry.”

I blinked, looked directly into the eyes of the ghost. They were liquid with unshed tears and a lifetime of joys and trials. And … they had suddenly … obviously … caught the same thing I had. “Didn’t feel the same?” I whispered. “Jesus, Mr. White. Maybe that’s because it wasn’t the same!”

“Huh … you thinking it was maybe one of the other Portals we saw the other day?”

“Yes, I’m thinking exactly that. But,” I groaned, clearly remembering everything I felt about all those whirling tornados of energy. “Only one was agitated, ready to do … something. Only one. Do you think it’s the one you took?”

Mr. White’s head shook sadly. “I kinda doubt it. The one I took was … I dunno … sort of quiet, just waiting, you know? And, it took Cort too, so … I’m guessing maybe it wasn’t my personal Portal to my old movie life.”

“Right! After all, how the hell could someone go to a different movie life the way your friend did? And … and … what place was there in your movie life for a wife from this life? It was definitely a different Portal!” I stood and began to pace then slowed to a dead stop and the ghost grunted.

“Don’t answer anything, does it?”

“Nothing that helps us figure out what happened to Mr. Biebe.”

“Mrs. Kane, you gotta help get John back. He belongs here, not where ever he is. I know it. I just know it.”

“I’ll do everything I can,” I said as he vanished just like I imagine John Biebe had.

JESSIE

Lachlan seems intent on willing his body to recover. When we first arrived he insisted on using his crutches instead of the wheelchair, not wanting to seem any more of an invalid than he is … despite his injuries. I tried not to be annoyingly over helpful, allowing him to maneuver the walkway alone. He was somehow in a good enough mood to tease me about worrying so much.

“Sweetheart, I can hear you clucking, but I can manage it on my own.”

I backed off just a little, but not far enough so that I couldn’t reach him if he should start to wobble rather suddenly. By the time we reached the Inn’s front entrance I could tell that he was out of breath, but he gave me a wink to let me know that he was okay. “I’ll be fine once I sit down for a tic and catch my second wind.”

The veins in his forearms stood out as he shifted forward on the crutches and I allowed myself to lighten up just a bit and admire the way the muscles in his arms flexed as he swung forward with each step. I so love everything about him, from his physical strength to his easy going masculinity, but when I thought about how close I had come to almost losing him I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Lach’s friend John hadn’t been so lucky.

I knew he was concerned for all his friends right now, probably even more than he was for himself. Lachlan told me a little about his history with Riley, and while I suspected that they had once perhaps been lovers, I stopped short of asking him about it because I didn’t want to come across as an insecure, jealous girlfriend. If that were the case, whatever had existed had changed because she had married another man.

I had been nervous about meeting Lachlan’s extended family, afraid that I’d be viewed as an intruder during this time of crisis, but it seemed the others didn’t feel like that. I hoped I’d get the opportunity to meet Terry and thank him for helping to arrange for our airline tickets so quickly.

Once inside our room, I sat Kahlua and his carrier down at the foot of the bed and took a quick look around. “Should we let anyone in particular know that we’re here, or do we just head on upstairs unannounced in the elevator?”

Lachlan had told me that Riley and John lived up on the fourth floor and that Jack Aubrey’s apartment across from them had been set up as command central, but he shook his head. “There isn’t any elevator. I reckon we’re going to have to climb up the stairs.”

“That’s going to be tricky.”

Lach plopped down on the bed and reached over for the cat carrier. “One of the guys will help us. Hey, did you bring Kahlua’s litter box? I want to let him out but we’d better have that set up first.”

Damn. I’d left it back in the van. I grabbed my sweater and went back out to the parking lot to retrieve anything else I had forgotten. On the way back. I noticed a familiar looking gentleman standing just outside the lobby entrance; he was probably in his early forties, wearing jeans, a western style hat and an attractive suede jacket. He smiled as he caught me looking at him, and then it hit me – he looked familiar because he was obviously one of the brothers.

I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at him. He was an older version of Lachlan, only he had an air about him that was decidedly different. If I had to find a word to describe him, I’d have to use calculating.  There was something in his eyes that suggested he didn’t miss a thing.

“You look a bit lost, ma’am.”

It was one thing to hear Terry’s voice over the phone and to remark how much he and Lachlan sounded alike, but to actually see one of these other men up close and in person, well, let’s just say that it’s a bit disorienting.

“Not lost, just … stunned, I’m afraid.” I moved in closer for a better look. “I’m Jessie – I’m here with Lachlan. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, but I haven’t met any of the other men yet, and …oh wow, this is …embarrassing.” 

“Well, Miss Jessie, I promise you, I don’t bite. I’m Ben Wade.” Without asking, he reached over and took the litter box and other packages from my arms. “Come, darlin’, lemme help you. Believe it or not, I kinda do know how you feel.”

I wondered what he meant by that comment, but then he smiled at me in such a way that I swear to God, I actually blushed. With his free hand he opened up the entrance door and stood aside, waiting for me to enter ahead of him Then I had an idea.

As he followed in after me, I turned quickly to face him. “Ben, could I ask you a small favor?”

He paused for half a beat before answering. “Be my pleasure, ma’am.”

I smiled in relief. “”Lachlan wants to go upstairs and check on Riley, and he’s on crutches and his leg’s in a brace and cast … could you help us?”

LACHLAN

I had no one to blame but myself; I’m the one who assured Jessie that one of the guys would be happy to help me maneuver my way up the stairs, but I didn’t think she’d track one down so quickly. And out of all of them, she turned up with Ben Wade.

“Easy now, let’s take this nice and slow …” He stood on my left and Jess stood on my right holding my crutches, both of their arms around my waist as we started up the stairs. “Ma’am, I meant to tell you earlier, that shade of blue looks awfully nice on you. Looks real nice with your pretty brown eyes.”

Jess glanced down at her sweater and smiled. “Thank you, it’s so old and faded, but it’s one of my favorites.”

“You look like a woman who likes to dance. Does this youngster ever take you out dancing?”

Bloody hell. Like I really need Wade flirting with my woman right now? Jessie was accustomed to men like Ben, and usually said something scathing to send them packing, but she just smiled and smiled.

“Lachlan, you’ve found yourself a beautiful woman. Miss Jessie, you say you’re from California?”

We hit the second floor landing. “Wade, we’ve both just come from California.”

Wade gave a knowing grin. “But I was addressing Miss Jessie.”

“Come on you guys; Lachlan, don’t talk or you’ll get winded before we reach the third floor.”

“She’s right, son. Save your strength.”

“Here we are, third floor,” Jessie announced. “One more to go. Are you okay, babe?”

I looked over at Wade, daring him to make another cheeky comment, but he just grinned. Tightening his hold around my waist we finally worked our way up to the fourth floor.

“Here we are, now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Ben turned to Jessie as she gave me my crutches. “I think he’s getting’ a bit cranky.” He winked at my girl then turned to me. “In all seriousness, brace yourself for when you see Riley. She’s havin’ a real hard time with it, watching John disappear like that and all. Thorne’s been sittin’ with her since it happened, but she seems pretty far gone.”

Jessie bit her lower lip and I could see the fear coming into her eyes again. Hell, I was just as terrified as she was, but I tamped it down. Hard. I needed to see Riley and see if there was anything I cold do.

“Do you want me to wait out here?” she asked.

I didn’t want her hanging out with Wade any more than necessary. Even if he was just trying to get my goat, I wasn’t feeling much like playing. “I want you to come with me. I feel better when you’re close by.”

She nodded and looked over at Ben. “Thank you so much for helping us. It was really sweet of you.”

Thankfully he got the message. Smiling as he tipped his hat, he wished us both well and went off toward Jack and Natalie’s place, leaving us alone at the stairway landing.

RILEY

I’d been awake but groggy for nearly an hour, fighting not to cry and determined not to think about anything whatsoever. I was afraid my heart couldn’t take it, and my mind might simply explode. Taking a surface inventory of the moment, I blinked and thought real hard. Let’s see … my husband was gone … Terry was so close I could smell his aftershave … and everyone else at the Inn was tiptoeing around me and far out of sight. Had I gone totally nuts? Were they afraid of me? Or maybe they were afraid that what happened to me and John might just happen to them. I felt like running to the hallway and shouting It’s not fucking contagious! but then again … maybe it was.

I groaned and pulled myself up to sit, leaning my head back against the headboard and wondering if it was Terry who’d put me in my nightgown. I looked down the neckline. Naked. Yeah, must’ve been Terry. But wait … how could he have done that? His right hand was bandaged from the tips of his fingers to nearly his elbow. Embarrassment heated my cheeks. Jack? I remembered Jack had come in the bedroom.

But … why was I embarrassed? Jack had seen me naked. Terry had seen me naked. What the hell was I thinking? Who gave a flying fuck who I was naked with back then. Right now I had more important things to worry about … but what were they? What the hell kinda drug did they give me, anyway? I felt like a puddle of pudding but at the same time, jumpy as a nervous cat. Proof of that came when Terry tapped on the door and called my name. For a moment I thought he’d have to bring a putty knife to scrape me from the ceiling.

“What?” I groaned, pressing my hand against my heart to keep it in place.

His head poked in. Oh God, Terry. My goddamn rock. Again I relaxed into a mushy mound as he smiled kindly. What would I do without him? “Got a visitor, love.”

Finally. Someone was willing to face me. But when Lachlan walked in … more like hobbled in … I thought my heart would burst. “What happened?” I gasped, hardly noticing the beautiful brunette that followed him and Terry inside. “Oh God, Lach!”

He grunted, sat in the chair next to me and told me the whole story.

“This is gotten way out of hand,” I didn’t even try to hold the tears back. “Will the Portal be happy when we’ve all lost everything?”

That’s when I heard the quiet gasp and looked to the stranger. “Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry You must be Jessie. Please, don’t listen to me; I’ve had so many drugs pumped into me I can hardly think straight.”

“Tell me about it,” Lach and Terry said together and for the first time I actually smiled. Careful not to worry Jessie any more than necessary, we all chatted about stupid stuff, unimportant things, the Vermont weather, the election, anything but what mattered. Finally she excused herself to make a pot of coffee and I looked at them both.

“You look like a set of broken bookends,” I said.

“You look considerably better, love,” Lachlan sighed.

“Liar.” I reached for a sweater on the nearby chair and pulled it on. “Is everyone else okay?”

Terry scratched his temple. “Far as we know, no one else has …”

“Disappeared,” I whispered, saying the word he wasn’t willing to speak.

“Wigand, Stephan and Nash are downstairs trying to figure it all out.”

“Figure what out?” I groaned. “The cause … or the symptom … or how to get John home?”

“Well,” Terry’s eyes glittered but I could tell that it wasn’t going to be a full out joke. “As I see it … me and Lachlan sitting here with you, practically naked in bed between us … knowing Biebe’s legendary jealousy, that alone should bring him back.”

I smiled but the smile soon dropped. I suddenly remembered what I was supposed to be worried about. “Oh … God! Where’s the baby?”

“Nat took him over to their apartment. He’s fine, darlin’,” Terry assured.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Lachlan reached over to hold my wringing hands. “He’s okay.”

“No,” I climbed out of the bed, “I need him with me.” I stood and drew in a deep breath. I felt a little drunk but I was steady … a lot steadier and stronger than my two babysitters, one fumbling with his crutches and the other fumbling left-handed to help with the falling crutches. I wasn’t foolish. As I rushed passed Terry and Lach, I looked toward the kitchen. Jessie was pouring coffee.  “Jess,” I called. “Would you please help me a minute?”

She followed me but not before shooting a questioning glare to Terry. We crossed the hall and I knocked on the door. Jack stood, massive in the opening.

“Riley? You should be resting, little dear.”

“Not without my son. Please, give me my son.”

He looked at first like he’d deny me, then turned and nodded to Nat who brought baby T and put him in my arms. The kid must have been looking for me for hours. He squealed and wrapped his pudgy arms around my neck, his legs too wrapped around me and I rocked him and nearly sobbed. Looking up at Nat and Jack I couldn’t help it. Tears fell but I grinned sadly.

“Ya know,” I said with a shaking voice. “Today is baby Terrence Nathan Biebe’s first birthday.” And I turned and left, Jessie’s strong arm around my waist as I took my son to his nursery and rocked him in my arms.

STEPHEN

Nash, Wigand and I had taken over a large table in a far corner of the greenhouse dining room that John Nash himself had originally designed for the Inn. At first, I was concerned that other diners might overhear our discussion, however as it was Monday, the restaurant was closed and the dining room was not in use. The only possible eavesdropping might come from the various cleaning staff working in the room, but I suppose the abundance of papers overflowing our table and Nash’s somewhat erratic behavior made us undesirable companions, all to the good in my opinion. 

Brother Nash had arrived that morning, full of eagerness to attack the problem at hand. Wigand and I had written voluminous notes, which we handed to him for his perusal. He scrutinized the pages and scribbled copious notes along the margins and over our work itself, all the while muttering to himself on a lack of insight here or an incorrect conclusion there. Having filled the papers with notes, he took a grease pencil and began to work the formulas on the glass panes of the greenhouse wall, formulas that were certainly beyond my comprehension and possibly even Jack’s. Gesticulating wildly, he explained every point as he worked, but I must admit it was difficult to follow his logic. I looked to Jeffrey to see if he could make sense out of Nash’s calculations.

JEFFREY

There’s something about Nash that always leaves me feeling like a college freshman, and Stephen’s expression mirrored my own puzzled fascination.

Nash stopped writing and turned to address us. “Gentlemen, while I can appreciate your efforts to determine some pattern of cause and effect for this most unfortunate occurrence, I’m afraid that it goes beyond the simple understanding of elementary physics.”

Stephen and I again exchanged glances. I decided that I’d just come right out and ask.
“John, do you have any idea what might have triggered this ripple effect? What stopped me or any of the others who had the same sort of shifting experience from passing over completely?”

Nash regarded both of us, his eyes shining. “It could very well be possible that certain individuals in our group are more susceptible to fluctuations in energy; a certain magnetic pull, if you were. While a variety of portals exist, and we can only hypothesize the inherent nature of individual quanta; however while one of these vortexes seems to be acting independently from the others, we might be able to map the probability of its next fluctuation.”

Stephen frowned, pushing the pile of notes away from him “So you’re suggesting that perhaps you can track when one of the next fluctuations will occur?”

 “Possibly, or then again, possibly not. Quantum physics has a propensity for volatility.”
He turned back toward the window and continued writing, while Stephen and I went back to reviewing our own notes, feeling no less overwhelmed by our ignorance but hopeful that Nash could crack the code.

BEN WADE

I intended to help any way I could, but it just seemed there was nothin’ we could really do. Keep the Inn going, that was mostly Captain Jack and young Cory’s job. I got to help get that broken young man, Lachlan, up the steps. And … I found myself starting to wonder what it might be like … going back, after knowing all this, living like this, and even likin’ what I got here in Stowe, Vermont.

I told Jack I was taking a run into town, asked if anyone needed anything and he told me to make sure I took the shuttle. No point in dying at the wheel during one of those visions. If it was the vision to take me, and I could get back … wouldn’t have much to come back to now, would I? Wonder if they’d bury me in that church graveyard? What would they put on my stone?

Cold slithered up my spine like a snake. Thinking about going back was getting to be like thinking about dyin’. I fucking didn’t wanna do either and hated the idea that I got no goddamn choice. What was coming was coming … sure as God’s vengeance, it was comin’. But before it reached me, I had something important to do.

In town, I managed to avoid Sheriff Mike; that man’s always looking for me, already called me twice at the Inn and left real kind messages, inviting me for a beer or coffee. I’m sure he’s on to me about that bank robbery, even though I ain’t the one who tried to rob it … technically. He spotted me soon as I got off the shuttle bus and I lost him, slipping out the back door of the coffee shop.

I went to that big library on Connor Street. There’s a nice old lady there who was always sweet to me, always wantin’ to help. I stood at the desk, my hat in my hand and I grinned. Poor old bat might’ve thought I was flirting with her, the way she blushed. I cleared my throat.

“Mrs. Billing, wonder if you can help me, ma’am.”

“Of course, Mr. Wade. What do you need?”

“Well, I kinda need to … locate someone … someone I knew a little bit ago and really need to get in touch with.”

“Ah, I think I can help. Come on over to the computers.”

I think I’m more scared of computers than I am of a noose, but after taking a long, deep swallow, I went with her to the room in back of the library. At least I’d be alone there; no one else was using the machines. She talked me through how to do my search then left me to it. And I slowly, carefully, with one finger, typed …

Tracy Marie Pinkerton. Connecticut. United States.
 
NATALIE

It was obvious that, with John gone, Riley wouldn’t be able to run the Inn, so Jack stepped up and took command. I was so proud to watch him being all “captain-y,” but I also knew that he needed to do it. He would never admit it, but he needed the distraction, to hold onto something that anchored him here, that tied him to this life and this family and in so doing, maybe the Portal wouldn’t take him. I wasn’t so sure, but was glad for anything that would comfort him, even a little bit.

That afternoon, as he was at the dining table talking over security plans with Antony, he asked if I could take Terry and Dino into Burlington. Terry had an appointment at the clinic and Dino had errands to run. With the current situation, neither of them could drive and there was no one else who could take them.

“But Jack, what about Catherine and Chelsea? With Terry and Dino, I can’t fit both baby seats in the back.”

“Ah, well, Mr. Pullo has suggested that little Valerie would like to watch the children.”

“Has she watched babies before?” I wondered.

Antony answered. “Apparently, yes. But, Kelly has offered to watch with her. The babes will be well taken care of.”

With Valerie and Kelly babysitting, I was free to drive to Burlington. Since I would need to wait there to bring Terry and Dino home, Jack added a couple of errands to do while I was in town. It was going to be a busy afternoon, but I was looking forward to spending some time with these two.

At first, the drive was uncomfortable, the silence coming from the two men was deafening. It’s a long drive, even longer when your drive-buddies are preoccupied and lost in their own thoughts. But, you know, I understood. In Terry’s place, worried about losing the use of his hand, losing his profession and losing his very life, paying attention to lame jokes and feeble attempts at conversation would be the least of his concerns. I reached over and patted his good hand. He took it and lightly held it as I drove.

“Sorry, love. Not much company today.” His voice was soft, concerned. Sounded like he was a million miles away.

“S’alright, Ter. No worries.” I smiled, squeezed his hand and let him go back to his thoughts.

After dropping them off, I headed over to Colin and Carrie’s, just to check in and see how they were faring. I imagined that I’d find them much as everyone else at the Inn … scared, holding on to each other. Well, Carrie was. Colin, let’s just say he was pissed, angry pissed.

“Fuck! Why’d they pull me off the track!” he railed. “I haven’t had any fuckin’ flashbacks. I’ve been fine.” He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Col, you could have one,” I argued. “It could happen anytime. The Portal’s been very random.”

He rolled his eyes. “But, the point is, I haven’t had one. H hasn’t had one. In fact, very few of us have had one.” He slouched further in his chair, his arms across his chest like a spoiled little four-year-old. “I could’ve won that race.”

“Oh, Col, just grow the fuck up, will ya?” I stood, having had enough of his petulant child routine. “There’s more at stake here than you winning a race. Don’t you see?” I pointed to Carrie, “Think about her for a change. If something happened to you, what do you think will happen to her?”

I gathered my things and stomped to the door. “And one more thing, Mr. I’m an important NASCAR driver, what if you had a flashback during the race? What if you took someone else out with you? Did you think of that? And what about H? Mere? Me, even. Don’t we count, or are you such an important asshole that no one else should care whether you live, die, or fuck yourself up.” I took a deep breath. “Jesus, Colin. Did you think of what might happen if the Portal took you? There’s more at stake here than your precious NASCAR title.”

I stomped out to my car and sat for a few moments behind the wheel, needing to calm down before I went to Mere and Hando’s place. Just as I started the car, Colin came out, stopped on the porch and lit a ciggie. I have to admit, even as mad as I was at him, no one can sexy smoke like Colin. He sauntered over to the car, took a drag from his cigarette then stubbed it out on the driveway. He leaned into the driver’s window.

“Look, Nat, sorry ‘bout that. Ya know, sometimes I am a right arsehole.”

I nodded, “Yeah, but you’re our arsehole and we love you.” I gave him a peck on the cheek. “Now, let me go talk to H and Mere before I gotta pick up Terry.”

“Ah, well Mere’s at home, I think. But H is at the shop.” He stood back and waved as I pulled my car out of the driveway, grateful to see he’d come to his senses.

I saw Mere next. She was holding everything together, a rock even, taking care of Ruthie and keeping their lives running as smoothly as possible. I admired her no-nonsense, fun-loving nature. After a short chat, she confirmed that H had gone to the shop, but by the time I got there, he had left. None of the crew knew exactly where he’d gone, just that he went to pick up some tie-rods they needed and hadn’t gotten back yet. Since I was running close to the time to pick up Terry, I left a short note to call me or Jack and went on my way.

Dino sat in the front with me on the ride home and we chatted about all sorts of things, small talk, ya know. Terry, was still quiet and kept to himself in the back. Obviously he’d gotten bad news, but we all suspected it anyway. I felt so bad for him and decided to say something, anything to maybe make him feel better.

“Hey Terry, I guess you’re just going to have to learn to be left handed from now on.”

“Thorne, the southpaw,” snorted Dino with a chuckle.

When we got to the Inn, Terry followed me up the stairs to Riley’s suite. He’d left Lachlan and Jess alone with her all afternoon and was obviously concerned. I found Jack at home, just hanging up the phone when I walked in. It was Mere, and apparently Hando never showed up at the auto parts store and he couldn’t be found anywhere.