RILEY

Finally, Kevin and LizBeth's wedding day had arrived. The Inn was filled with their guests and the dining room was closed to the public in preparation for the Wedding dinner. Amazing, a wedding for two hundred was far easier than preparing and serving a normal evening dinner trade of possibly five hundred, even with all its intricacies and details.

Seven AM and I was still lazing in bed. Over the past week, my body had apparently finally adjusted my condition. Pregnancy. I still couldn't believe it. And I still hadn't told John. It was the only way I could make the decision I had to make. But he was damn clear with me about keeping secrets. He wasn't standing for it anymore. So, I suppose I was once again deceiving him, lying by omission, something an ex-sheriff should easily spot in any suspect.

But obviously I wasn't suspect in his eyes. He had his wife back, just like he wanted her. I was feeling and looking better and from his point of view, everything was going just dandy. But I didn't have much time. Another few weeks, and eliminating the pregnancy would become far too difficult. Difficult to hide and difficult physically to abort. I'd looked into my options, and making a short trip to NewYork with some highly important and fabricated reason would take care of it. God sakes, another lie to John? But what choice did I have? The fact is; I just couldn't make myself set the appointment. I couldn't count on LizBeth for assistance; she'd be off on her honeymoon. Monna was oblivious to what was going on and I had to face the fact that I'd need to do it all alone.

Several times I'd let fantasies float in my head. Fantasies that John would be thrilled about a baby. Fantasies that he'd be understanding or tolerant and even fantasies that if he wasn't happy with it, he'd go with me for the abortion. That way, I wouldn't have to do it alone.

If I could do it at all.

I rolled over and looked at him. He was sound asleep. John was never a good early riser and I always loved this part of my day. Watching his soft lashes flutter against his cheek, even hearing him mumble an old lover's name would make me smile. I wasn't jealous. I knew I had his heart and always would. Jealousy was never my cross to bear. Disappointing John was my issue. Was I about to destroy everything we'd been fighting so hard for? He wasn't asking a lot from me, just the truth.

I reached over and set my palm on his cheek. Feeling the warmth of his flesh triggered so much love I thought my heart would burst, and I made the decision there and then. I would talk about the pregnancy with John right after the wedding. If we decided together to have the abortion, it could be done before we left for Hawaii.

JOHN

I was dreaming, sitting in the Badlands with Grandpa Luke. The old man was repeating over and over.

"Kola! You need to start learning patience."

"But." You know me, I wanted to negotiate.

"Kola, patience."

"She makes me nuts, Luke. I know she's not telling me everything."

"Patience. It's the only way, John."

"But." He was starting to drift away, melt into the amazing landscape. "But Luke, what about -- "

"Patience." His voice rumbled in my head.

I woke to the sweet sensation of Riley's hand on my face. Without opening my eyes, I wrapped my arms around her and tugged her under me. I touched and tasted every inch of her, deep in the darkness behind my eyes, exploring the landscape of her body, of my love for her. I buried my face between her legs and lapped at her softness, savoring the flavor, her reactions. Fuck, it was good to have her back; to be back in her heart.

But even as I concentrated on making her come, hard and full for me, my mind was spinning. Patience? What the fuck? Something was still wrong and I was getting worn thin with trying to pretend everything was fine. Whatever was deep inside Riley's soul was festering and I needed to draw it out, help her.

Pressing inside, my eyes finally opened to the gorgeous vision of her face after climax. Flushed, panting, stretching every ounce of her energy for me to drive deep, fill her.

Then I was lost in myself, feeling the build I craved, would never get enough of. Pounding harder and harder I sensed her slight withdraw and lightened up. Was she still sick? In some kind of pain? I almost lost my rhythm and melted soft with those thoughts, but she encouraged me on. Even with that enticement, her words and body begging, I held back a bit, making my final drive nowhere near as deep as usual, afraid I'd hurt her and wondering what she was protecting herself from. Me? God sakes, I had so much work to do, and like the old man said, it was gonna take patience, a fuck load of patience. Was I up to that?

LIZBETH

Wedding day blues weren't about me and Kevin, they were focused on Riley and John. Why on earth hadn't she told him yet? What was she waiting for? I knew enough about John Biebe to know he'd be thrilled. He told me so little about his past over the years we were together, but he always talked about his boys, what they meant to him, the funny things they'd said and done. It was obvious he missed them terribly and was undoubtedly a good father. Talking to her did no good, and as I dressed in the most special dress I'd ever wear in my life, all I could think of was Riles. What was she so afraid of? If I had the chance; the safe, blessed opportunity to give such news to Kevin, I'd have run through a hurricane to let him in on it. Maybe I was just a little envious. But maybe I was right. She needed to tell John and tell him that very day. Otherwise, I was going to announce it at the wedding myself!

Never one for tradition, Kevin was standing beside me straightening his tux and grinning into my eyes through the mirror.

"Damn, you're one pretty bride. So tell me again, who are you marrying? Not that dumb fuck contractor, is it?"

"Nope, I'm marrying a wonderful guy. Name's Kevin Boyer. Maybe you know him?"

"Heard of him . . . are you sure he's the right man for you?"

I turned and looked at Kevin. I'd never seen him like that. Unsure. Nervous. "Kevin, I'm absolutely positive."

He finally looked into my eyes. "So, what's on your mind, pretty bride?"

I sighed and plopped on the bed, a billow of satin and lace floating around me like a deflating parachute. "Can I tell you a secret?"

He knelt at my feet. "You can tell me anything, Lizzybell."

That made me grin. I hated when John used to call me that, but when Kevin said it, it warmed my heart and made me feel happy. "It's a huge secret, and you have to keep it."

He crossed his heart and smiled.

"Okay, here goes. And Kevin, you have to know, I absolutely never break a trust. But this is simply driving me mad."

His hand pushed away a wisp of a curl that had escaped the crown of my veil. "Then maybe you need to tell me, honey. No secrets between us. I know that's what's been driving Biebe up the wall, and it's a really bad habit. Start now, no secrets, got it?"

I nodded, swallowed and smiled. "Riley's pregnant."

What I thought would happen, didn't. He didn't jump up and down and shout; he wasn't even smiling. He leaned back on his knees and rubbed his eyes. "Wow," was all he said.

"What?"

"Well honey. It's probably not the best news John ever got. I don't think he wants any more kids."

"Are you crazy? He loves his boys!"

"Yeah, yeah. But maybe he's had a change of heart about making more babies, LizBeth."

"How could you even think that?"

Kevin shrugged and stood. "He told me. Told me with Riley in the room too."

"Oh fuck. So that's why she hasn't told him yet."

Kevin grunted a chuckle. "I always knew our wedding day would be pretty traumatic. How much you want to bet she chooses today to let him in on it? It's Queen Biebe's M.O." He thumped on the bed beside me. "Best thing about all this is we leave the country before the real fireworks start, huh?"

RILEY

Dressed in my most formal finery, a bistro apron wrapped around the volumes of my burgundy silk dress, I was roaming the kitchen, checking on the hors d'oeurvres, making sure of the serving schedule and the dinner seating tickets, talking with the wait staff and making last minute arrangements with Andy and Monna.

"We got this one, Moolay. Get your pretty arse out there and mingle with the guests, after all, you are one of 'em." Andy grinned and flipped through his notes.

"Right, right." I groaned, trying not to rub the make-up off my eyelids. "Nothing here to worry about. I've got the best team on earth."

"Damn straight," that was Monica and I laughed aloud. Monna never swears.

Just then the phone in my office rang. I snuck in there and answered, ignoring Andy's scowl.

"Kitchen."

"Hi! It's Natalie."

I dropped into my chair. "Nat! Hi, how are you?"

"I'm fine. More important, how are you? You drove John nuts, you know. He was sure you'd left for a visit with Doc."

"He called you?" Damn, how did I feel about that?

"No, I called him. Is everything alright, Riley? I've been so worried about you guys."

"Yes, yes, everything's fine." I reached back and pushed the door closed. "Just dandy."

Silence.

"Really, Nat. How's Col?"

"Even more worried about you than I am. Are you feeling any better? Please tell me you went to the doctor."

Squeezing my eyes closed, I took a deep breath. Here goes. "I'm pregnant." I whispered it, but Nat was screaming her response.

"You are! I knew it, I just knew it! Oh my God! This is fantastic!"

"No . . . no . . . Nat, calm down. I'm not sure I'm going to keep it."

Really heavy silence.

"Honey, it's up to John. If he wants, we'll get . . . I'll have . . ."

More silence.

"How the hell did this happen to me?"

"The Game. Riley, it's over for you and John. He's got real swimmers and you're obviously not as infertile as you thought. Doctors do make mistakes, you know."

"But John . . . he's well . . . not really as into this kind of thing as he was with Donna."

"That's crazy. I'm sure you're dead wrong on that."

I was listening to her voice, it had a certain hallow quality, as though she had something else occupying her mind. "Well, the point is I haven't told him yet."

"Tell him, Riley. Tell him now."

"It'll have to be later; we have a huge wedding here this evening. But it will be today."

"No, tell him now. He needs to know. It's got to be killing him. You know damn well he feels you're keeping something from him."

She was right; I was remembering how carefully he made love to me that very morning. Did he already suspect? My focus was redirected to Natalie's strange sigh.

"And . . . what are you keeping from me?" I asked smoothly.

"Let's talk later, okay. I need to run; I have a few errands I need to do."

"Okay, I'll call you after I lower the boom and we've made a decision. And Nat, please don't tell anyone yet."

"Uh, sure." She hung up. I took off my apron and went to the dining room.

JOHN

God sakes, it was beautiful. Twilight was glowing through the greenhouse arches and the garden outside the windows was twinkling with a billion tiny lights. I know; I put them all there. I remembered last Christmas when Riley suggested twinkle lights outside the dining room. Amazing. With Riley standing beside me, radiant and elegant in that dress, I realized that I had in fact fallen back in love with the Inn. I had finally seen it through her eyes and I knew it was right for us.

So many things were still a struggle. If I could get her to talk with me, maybe I could feel more comfortable about every fucking thing we'd just survived. Maybe after the nuptials and the fancy dinner was served and cleared away, I could get her full attention. We'll see. Life with an obsessive workaholic was never going to be easy.

Obsessive workaholic? Was that what she was? I had to admit that since she got back from New York, she had made big strides in taking things easier, even resting in the middle of the day. That was fun, finding her sprawled out on the bed, it was like she was just waiting for me, and I started to take note of the times I might come across her there.

Yeah, the sex was back. The affection and the tenderness. But something was still wrong. I turned to look down at her. She was focused like everyone else to the back of the dining room where any minute the bride would appear to make her stroll toward marriage.

Marriage. Fucking pity we had to do ours so quickly and quietly. I glanced around at the beautiful decorations, thousands of flowers and dramatic centerpieces. Fuck, Riley deserved the same kinda wedding. Maybe, just maybe I could make it up to her in Hawaii. I sighed and she turned, giving me a wonderful hug. Weddings. God sakes, they bring all kinda shit out of everyone. Just please, oh fuck please, don't let me start crying again.

LIZBETH

I stood there, never more sure of a decision in my whole life. Flowers in hand, waiting for my cue, the music and my groom to walk to the front and wait for me, I was content. It was not my father, but my Uncle Franklin, another Compton renegade who says I was his inspiration, who would walk me down the aisle and give me away. Poor Uncle Frankie. He was over eighty, had given his whole life to the Compton way, but he was having fun for the first time ever, fussing over my gown and the flowers, grinning like an AARP lunatic.

As we stepped along the aisle, I spotted Riley and John. My heart lurched. John. If it wasn't for all my foibles and obsessions over him, this day would have never come. I never pray. Sad but true. Even when I was terrified I'd die of cancer, I never said one prayer. But passing John and Riles, I found myself begging the God I'd never spoken to, to help them.

KEVIN

She stood beside me and I was washed over with some displaced sadness. Allie wore a very different dress; a soft, pale blue peasant thing and goofy flowers in her hair. Jesus, this was going to be so different from before. How could I even imagine that it would be the same?

I straightened my shoulders and listened to the minister's words. To love and honor. To cherish and care for. To stand beside and support. Forever. Till death do us part.

Death? Was that really a parting? Suddenly I knew, really knew that Allie was there with us. She would help LizBeth and me through the good times and especially through the hard times. God wasn't asking me to carry another horrible bourdon by marrying another woman facing a life threatening disease. He was giving me another chance to love. To be happy. To live again.

"I do, I most certainly do." I said and it was done. There's nothing like the first kiss as man and wife.

All night long, during the ceremony, the toasts, after the dinner and even during the dancing, I kept sneaking a peek at the Biebe table, expecting some altercation, but none came.

Fuck, they looked happy, pretty comfortable together, so either she told him and it went down easy, or she hadn't even mention it yet. As we prepared to leave, I was more than grateful we were going to miss the fireworks. Oh, don't get me wrong, I couldn't wait to hear all about it, and knowing Lizzybell, I'd get a blow by blow from collected data covering several guest witnesses.

Sitting in the limo, driving away from the Inn that had been my whole life for the past year, my horrible year turned gold, I along with my bride stretched our necks to get a last glimpse of the Biebes.

"God, I hope everything goes all right with them," my beautiful new wife spoke exactly the words in my own head.

RILEY

I fought every urge to check on the kitchen, especially after the whole thing was over, knowing the mess they were dealing with back there. John was great. So warm and sweet, friendly even to some of LizBeth's most irritating family guests who managed to complain about the accommodations. We both just grinned, making no excuses. We knew we were offering extraordinary service, in the suites, the rooms and the dining room. Some people just thrive on complaining. How on earth did LizBeth escape such a judgmental upbringing? Thank God she had.

Fighting the urge to check on the kitchen wasn't my only struggle all evening; I was also fighting my terror. Now I'd promised not only myself but Natalie that I'd tell John. How to do it? And where? He managed to solve that problem, smoothly leading me off to the bench near the old bear's grave and covering my chilled, bare shoulders with his jacket.

We sat; me snug under his arm and listened to the far off sound of the continuing festivities. It was dark, nothing but the small lights illuminating the pathway and the stars above, flickering through the high foliage. My mind wondered to the day Max and I made love right under that tree, to the sad afternoon, months later when he helped me bury the courageous bear that had saved John's life. And I clearly recognized that I had an amazing existence. For the first time, I knew that it wasn't the Game that had made it so amazing. It was John and it was me. I was ready.

"John," I said softly.

"Baby, before you say anything, I need to tell you something. It's important."

"Okay." I sat and waited, but he was quiet for a while.

"No, no. Maybe this is one of those times I need to be patient. Baby, go on. What did you want to say?"

I pulled away and turned toward him. John stood and straddled the bench, giving me his full attention. His hand ran a soft trail down my cheek then he offered me a sweet kiss.

"John, I understand that everything that happens isn't always like you plan. That it might not be what you want, and before I say anything, I need to make sure you know that your choice is all that matters here."

He opened his mouth, tossed a glance at the grave then nodded for me to continue.

"John, I've been absolutely awful to you over the past few months. I was scared, scared to death. See, baby, I thought something really terrible was wrong with me. You know, I can't get pregnant, right?"

His fingers reached for mine and he lowered his eyes before nodding agreement. Still silent. Still so unlike John.

"Well, in June, right after we opened, I missed my period. I thought it was just stress. Then I missed another one. Pregnancy tests kept coming out negative and even though that's what I expected, I was really terrified about why it was happening. Jeff put the fear of the Lord in me, telling me to get it looked at immediately, but I just kept hoping I'd get a period and everything would be fine."

"But you were so sick." Finally, it speaks!

"Yeah, I was," I swallowed hard. "Then LizBeth got her doctors involved and I had an appointment. Oh John, I can't tell you how much I wanted you there," tears were falling and he caught them with his fingers.

"Shh, it's okay."

"Then . . . then . . . while I was waiting for them to do all this horrible stuff to me, they turn around and they tell me . . . they tell me . . ." God, I couldn't go any further.

John wrapped me up, close to his heart and I could feel it pounding even harder than mine. "What did they tell you, Riley? Whatever it is, we gotta face it baby. And we gotta face it together."

With a groan I pulled from his warmth. "John, you're going to hate this."

"Tell me, baby."

"They told me I'm pregnant. I know, I know!" The shock on his face was like waves of heat. "Please, let me finish, please."

John nodded, this time with his mouth hanging open.

"I don't know how this happened. I swear I've been with no one but you! And John, I do understand that you don't want this. That having babies is the last thing in the world -- "

"Christ, Riles! Why the hell would you think that?" It was obvious that he wanted to either run away . . . or grab hold of me.

"You told Kevin. I heard you, I was there. And I know this is not what you want. And if you want, we can do something about it, this week, before we leave."

"Do what?" God I couldn't read his face in the dark, his voice seemed so strangled I was surprised he could even talk. "Do what, Riles? Kill my child? How the fuck can you even think I'd let you -- "

"I don't want to. I just wanted you to understand that --"

He shot to his feet, started pacing, shot a glare at the grave then at me. "Whoa. Okay. Okay. I've been patient and I've listened, it's your turn now, you hear? You . . . listen to me, Riley. And listen fucking good."

I folded my hands and waited for the inevitable. This was one of those times I'd push a little too far and I knew it. The back of my mind prepared, thought about what to pack and how soon I could get the appointment. The abortion.

"Riley! You're not listening."

"You didn't say anything yet."

"Look at me and listen. Woman, do you know why I told Kevin that shit?"

I shook my head.

"Think about it, Riley. God sakes! Christ, I was trying to make him feel better. There's no way on the fucking earth they can safely attempt having kids. My idea was to talk him into thinking about adopting. Fuck, Riley," he dropped to his knees and took my hands in his. "Baby, I was trying to help him cope with it, and . . . in a way, I was trying to make myself feel better about it too. Do you think I liked the idea that we couldn't have kids? I fucking hated it! I hated the Game because of it, and I hated your old doctors because if it. Jesus, Riley. Don't you get it?"

John was crying. Tears wet his face and caught the soft light from the path lamps. I ran my thumbs under his eyes the same way he had done for me so many times. He leaned in and hugged me, then tenderly planted a kiss on my satin covered belly.

"Don't you get it?"

"Yes. I think I get it. So, we're going to have a baby. But John, how on earth could this have happened?"

"I don't know and I don't give a fuck. Jesus, you just gave me more than I could ever give you, Riley."

Now I was crying too. "Well, technically, you gave it to me."

"No, no baby. What you just gave me is hope. Fuck, I had no clue how our lives were going to turn out after we got married. I've been looking over my shoulder every single fucking minute, sure something was going to just swoop out of the sky and take you from me. I never, ever even let myself dream that it could be like this."

"How John? Good?"

He lifted me in his arms and swung us in a circle. "Let's go!"

Sore leg and all, John trotted with me in his arms like a little girl, walked right into the bustling kitchen and yelled at the top of his lungs.

"We're having a baby!"

We left the cheers behind and went up to our place, John talking constantly.

"Now, here's the drill and no arguments out of you. Five hours a day, no more in that blast furnace of a kitchen. Less every month from here on in. You sleep, you eat, and oh fuck, we need a doctor, right? Maybe that small office in the suite can work for the baby's room? I'll talk to Kev when they get back, maybe we need to expand the place. There are vitamins and prenatal classes and --"

"Hey, hey," I giggled. "John, wait." He set me on my feet at the door, looking into my eyes, concern dousing the fire of excitement in his. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Kiss me, will you."

"Every single day of our lives, baby."

JOHN

Holy fuck, could it really be happening? There I was, thinking the worse, thinking she was seriously sick or leaving me or just plain sick and tired of my shit. I gotta confess, most of the stuff I told Kevin is true; having kids is harder than anything a man ever does. It's challenging and difficult, it's stressful and demanding. It's just plain fucking tough. So what. So the fuck what! I couldn't wait to do it all over again.

I never got over losing my boys when I crossed. With all the difficulties in my marriage with Donna, those three rug rats were my heart. Jesus, would Riles give me another boy? Could I be that lucky?

Once inside the suite, reality started to grip my guts. God sakes, I didn't want anything to stop us from the celebration we were about to have. Hell, I'd already unzipped that soft dress and was about to slide it down her body. I pulled the zipper back up and turned her to face me. The look on her face told me, she knew exactly where my head was.

"John, I am sorry. I know I should have told you everything."

"Why didn't you? And don't give me that shit about not wanting to worry me. You put me through the fucking wringer, baby."

"I understand. I --"

"Is it because I went off on you? I can't control what the old fuck . . . what the whole past thing with Wigand does to me."

"No, I sort of expect that."

I started to pace, ran a hand through my hair and listened to the racket outside as the local guests were leaving, beeping and drunk.

"Listen, baby. I would never, ever go to any of the Sisters, if that's what's bothering you."

Her grin was maddening. "John, I know that, you goof. It doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as you think it does that you dream about them. I dream too."

"Yeah, but you don't talk in your fucking sleep, I got no evidence."

"Thank God," she giggled then took my hand and led me to the sofa. "John, this is so hard to explain. At first it really was simple. I didn't like the fact that you were right, that I was working too hard and that I started to get sick because of it. That just plain pissed me off. Then as it dragged on and on, I was determined not to face it, to believe that I was fine.

"Sort of as a little exploration, I e-mailed Jeff, made it sound like it was all happening to a friend of a friend. He didn't buy it and insisted we talk, but I had no time to call him. So, that night when you were busy in the lobby, I jumped on IM. John, he really scared me. He told me all the possibilities."

"Fucker should have known better," I huffed and she actually nodded agreement.

"Well, he knows me too, and he knew I'd try to put it off, and if it was something bad, well . . ."

My head dropped back and I rubbed his eyes. I never would like the fact that that old fuck, that any of them knew her like I do. But at least he had her best interest at heart. "Guess I should be grateful, ay?"

Riley shrugged. "And when you flipped out, I got mad. Then I just felt like I had to protect you from knowing."

"Protect me?" I sat up, confused as all hell. What the fuck was she talking about?

"Yes, protect you. I mean, it had already gone too far. I felt like an idiot and I was worried you'd go off the deep end. God sakes, John. I remember after the accident, how nuts I got. I wanted to shield you from how awful that was. So I let the fight go on and on and . . . on."

"That way, you could avoid talking about it?" I groaned. "Baby, for the thousandth time; it's my job to protect you, not the other way around."

"No John. You're wrong. We're in this together now. We need to take care of each other. Protect each other. I'm not that fragile, fucked up woman you met when I crossed over and it's time for you to realize that."

I went to the window and laid my head against the cool glass. When did Little Sister grow up? And how the hell did I miss it?

She kept talking. "I did everything wrong, even kept the baby from you. But I can't do that anymore. I need you, for the good stuff too. And as far as the bad stuff, you've carried me through so much. I was mistaken to think it was the right way to deal with impending doom."

Impending doom. Fuck, it was always right around the corner. We had it in that other, so- called perfect world, and we'd continue to have it. All we could do was watch out for it, and Riley was right, we had to do it together, especially with a little one on the way. All I wanted to do was hold her, but the damn phone rang. I don't know why, but I answered it.

"Yeah?"

"So, how are you now?" It was Natalie and I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, we're great." I waved for Riles to pick up the extension.

"So . . .what's new in Vermont?" Nat sang.

"Nothing special," I grinned and watched Riley's eyes sparkle. "Oh, except that Riles and I are pregnant."

Man, she went nuts; you'd have thought I just told her she won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes.

"But, listen Sweetheart. Riley and I are in the middle of . . . something. We're doing some talking about shit we probably should have been talking about long ago. So, you mind if we continue this celebration later? We have a six hour layover in LA before we leave for Hawaii. That sound good?"

"Oh, okay. Everything is all right there, right?"

I shot a look at Riley, wondering if I needed to tell her all about the talk Nat and I had the other night.

"Yeah, Nat. Everything all right there?"

"Fuck no!" That was Colin and I watched Riley's mouth drop.

"Why?" I chuckled. "You got the same issues with kids you have with marriage, Col?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! John, you just fuckin' complicated my life! Bloody hell!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked and Riles and I stared at each other through the bedroom door.

"Ya don't know this, mate, but Nat and me . . . well, we left the fuckin' Game right after you got married. Holy Christ! Nat, darlin', we gotta start takin' out stock in fraggers!"

I laughed till tears were in my eyes. "Good night, you two." I hung up still chuckling, then looked at Riles and crooked my finger.

"Baby, we're not finished with this yet."

"I know, I know," she slumped into the sofa. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Nothing. But you gotta promise me you will never, ever keep things from me again. Especially the big, important stuff."

"Are you going to promise the same?"

"Yes." But even as I said it, I was wondering what I had been keeping from her; how far I would stretch the truth to protect her in the future.

RILEY

Monday afternoon we sat in Doctor Conklin's office and waited. John sat with me through the examination and the ultrasound and we saw the baby. Well, it was just a little lump, but to us it was baby Biebe.

We were grinning and holding hands when the doctor came in and sat at his desk. For an eternity he looked at my folder, then closed it and smiled. What I thought was going to be a terrific endorsement to my health and vitality, started out as a strange veiled warning. Through his grin, he started talking and John, also sensing the hidden meanings squeezed my hand tighter.

"Well, Riley. I understand your Inn is turning out to be a great success."

"Yes," I answered cautiously.

"And you're what? The chef there? That must be exciting."

"Get to the point," John growled.

Doctor Conklin shuffled in his big leather chair. "All right, here's the point." He eyed me directly. "Riley, this is a high risk pregnancy. The position of the fetus is very high in the uterus and dangerously near the fallopian tube."

"But it's going to be okay, right?" I thought I was going to faint.

"Only, and I stress only if you take things extremely easy. That means absolutely no lifting, no jogging, no running, no horseback riding, no riding a bike -- "

"Can I walk?" I spouted defiantly.

"Just listen to him, baby." John was on the edge of his seat.

"You can walk, but I have to warn you, come your seventh month, you may not even be able to do that much. You may be spending some serious time in bed." He checked the folder again. "And you're far too thin for my liking." He turned to John. "Can you get her to eat?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. She had some horrific morning sickness; we can get her back to normal."

I just blinked. Normal? What was going to be normal?

"The nurse will give you a prescription for vitamins and something in case you're still having a hard time with the nausea. Any questions?" Doctor Conklin said officially.

Questions? I had a million questions. Questions like who was going to run my kitchen for the next five and a half months?

"Yeah," John piped. "A couple." He cleared his throat. "What about sex?"

"Well, I wouldn't recommend wild escapades on a trampoline, but sex is fine till closer to delivery. We'll be watching this very carefully and talk about any restrictions if and when it becomes necessary."

John nodded. "And travel? Flying? We're heading to Hawaii this weekend." My heart dropped at the disappointment in his voice. "It's kinda our honeymoon."

"Make it the last trip you take till after the baby comes. But enjoy Hawaii, and bring me a souvenir. Now, anything else?"

We both shook our heads, eyes wide like deer caught in a surprise headlight.

I don't remember the drive home, but I do remember John's glare as I headed toward the kitchen.

"I need to tell them, explain it all. Reschedule staff, hire more people. John, I promise, I won't lift a thing."

He followed me. I thought it was to make sure I was keeping my word, but as the staff gathered, tight in my small office, John started the ball rolling.

"Okay, guys and gals. Here's the scoop. Every one of you will be taking on a little more responsibility from this minute forward."

"Moolay?" Andy's brows were curled with concern. "Is everything okay, love?"

"No, yes. No. Andy, I can't work like I used to, not till after the baby comes. Things are . . . a little complicated."

Andy squared his shoulders. "John, we can handle everything. We got the kitchen to take care of and you got Riles to take care of. It'll be apples, you'll see."

"Well, I can help you with the schedules and any new hires." I was trying to hold onto some control over my kitchen. No go.

"Forget it. Why did you hire the best if you aren't planning to use us?" Monica said, leaning back into Andy's warm arms. "Let us shine for you Riley."

"So," John concluded with a clap and a rub of his palms together. "That's that. Now, I'm taking my little mama upstairs. Call if you have any questions," Jesus, the glare he gave them. "We'll see you for dinner . . . out in the dining room."

We didn't go downstairs for dinner and Andy sent up loaded plates so I wouldn't cook. All I could do was cry and I was terrified John would get upset. He hugged me and let me sob like a little girl after someone took away her favorite toy.

"Baby, shh. Nothing great comes easy, we both know that. This is going to be an adventure for you. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be a lady of leisure? The lady of the manor? Come on, Riles. I swear I'm going to make this as easy as possible for you. You have one job and one job only, and that's to have a healthy baby. It's the hardest job you ever had, and I know you. If you put your mind to it, you are going to love every minute of it."

Sweet words, but putting them into practice? I wasn't so selfish that I'd risk the baby, but I was most certainly upset. I'd get over it. Eventually.

JOHN

Christ! And I thought I knew all the hard parts about pregnancy? Think again. Combine mood swings and hormones with Riley's obsessive nature and I was in really deep shit. I had to stay calm and comforting around her, and take her place as the nut bag pushing everything and everyone at the Inn toward perfection.

But the good part was; we were going to have a baby. And if it killed me (and it might) we were having a healthy one.

She'd finally cried herself to sleep and I had to keep my perspective. I was thinking that any other mother-to-be would be thrilled to lounge around for five and a half months. Why the hell did I have to marry the one who was going to see it as a hardship? Well, because. That's why.

As I loaded the fine china from the dining room into the dishwasher, I thought twice and washed them by hand. Hell, all I needed to do was ruin the things. But I had to chuckle. All fear aside, this was definitely going to be a life lesson for both of us. It took me almost an hour to convince her that the rough pregnancy wasn't her fault and the fact that she hadn't seen a doctor earlier would have made no difference. It was just where the baby wanted to be. That little sweetheart wanted to make his mom stop and smell the roses, ay?

His mom. Already I was thinking it was a boy. God sakes, I had to curb that desire. It could be a girl. But girls like to ice skate and ski, right? Even play hockey I guess. What I know abut little girls you could fit on the head of a pin. We'd just have to wait and see. There were going to be several opportunities, since regular ultrasounds were pretty much a must under the circumstances.

The circumstances, I dropped into the kitchen chair with a thud. The circumstances. Christ, why couldn't anything be easy? Now it was my turn to feel the weight of it all, Riles sound asleep in bed and me wringing my hands like an old lady. I did something really fucking strange, I called Wigand.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jeff, it's John. Uh, Biebe."

He chuckled. "I know who it is, how's Riley?"

"Pregnant."

"Holy Christ! Unbelievable! That's fantastic, congratulations John. Thank you so much for letting me know."

"Well, yeah, yeah. Sure, of course I wanted you to know," I lied. "But I wanted to ask you some questions. See, it looks like . . . no, it is . . . it's a high risk pregnancy."

"Fuck," he said softly and I was surprised to hear him swear like that.

"The doctor said it's up high and too close to the, what do you call it, the tube?"

"Fallopian tube."

"Yeah, that. What are we in for, Jeff? I gotta know."

"What are you in for? Knowing Riles, you're in for hell. John, she's going to be terribly restricted as this goes on, maybe hospitalized or at least limited to bed rest. God, can I do anything for you?"

"Tell me it will turn out okay."

"I wish I could, but you just have to wait and see. John?"

"Yeah?"

"May I call her? Talk to her when she's getting upset or frustrated? I might be able to help, I can send a few books I know she'd enjoy, a chess board, she and I can play over the phone. Whatever she needs."

I was silent, better than telling the guy to fuck off.

He sighed loud and long. "John, she's your wife. I know that. But you are both dear to me. Let me help if I can."

"Yeah, maybe. I'll see how things are going."

"Keep me abreast of any developments. And call for anything, even if you just need to talk. She's a tough egg, your wife. She's going to be fine. You are both going to be fine."

"Thanks. And . . . ah, Jeff . . . go on, call her tomorrow, it's going to be the hardest for her. Her first day away from everything. You know what a worry wart and control freak she can be. Maybe you can help me while I figure out all the new fucking job responsibilities I have around here."

"I will, John. Take care of yourself to, you hear? She needs you."

After I hung up I realized what I'd done. No, it's not what you think; I didn't suddenly feel like I was going to lose her to him. I just recognized that I too was growing up.

Good dog.

KEVIN

"That's the guy?" I was working on the plan to expand their suite, gawking at the fat old fucker playing chess with Riley, she under the blankets, him sitting on the bed.

John shot me a glare and looked down at the plan. It would cost them some closet space, but the nursery would be beautiful, natural light, a bay window view of the mountain and connected to mommy and daddy's room by antique pocket sliding doors I'd saved from the left tower during renovation. I stole all the space that was Riley's small home office at John's clear instructions. The Queen never complained. Her companion seemed to soothe just about everything about her tough transition.

I couldn't help it; I stole another look at the chess players and shook my head.

Riley and John never made it to Hawaii, they stayed instead in California. Seemed the flight across country was too exhausting for the little mama and turning around to do it again over the Pacific didn't hold much enticement. Hearing about all the problems, Lizzybell and I were glad they stayed closer to home. And after all John's planning, Riley was just as happy to spend time alone with him in California as she would have been at an exotic resort. They stayed in Sonoma and visited family as I understand it, but spend most of their time alone, together, rekindling.

Since we got back, LizBeth and I never even thought about it, we just moved back into the cottage in Stowe. Hell, I've got a huge house in Manchester, New Hampshire; she has one near San Francisco. It just never occurred to us to go to either of them. Maybe we were more interested in something we decide on together, but I'm thinking, we might have just wanted to be close for further baby developments.

Yeah, it was tough, watching John fuss over Riley, talk about a new baby's room and collect all the crazy stuff a baby needs. Hard not to feel a little jealous. But LizBeth said it best; it is the closest to having our own baby we're ever going to get.

"Check mate!" We turned to Riley's squeal; the old fucker must have given her another game. Well, at least he was kind to her. I just couldn't figure out what the hell he was doing there. John was paranoid, but holding it well. Had he bent to his wife's wishes? Nah, it didn't look that way to me. When that Wigand guy was near, he and John acted like brothers, close but competitive, caring but cagy. And if there was a concern for Riles, they were instantly on the same page. The strange relationship between those three people was fucking giving me a headache. It didn't make sense.

But then again, I knew for a fact that my own wife was once in love with Biebe. Was I any different than what I was seeing at the Inn? I'd trust John with LizBeth's life, but alone with her, horizontal and in a bed, health issues or not? No fucking way.

Wigand stepped out, tea cups in hand and a smile on his face. He set the kettle on the flame and swooped our coffee cups and refilled them, then looked down at the blueprints.

He pointed. "This is wonderful, Kevin."

Suddenly I remembered that guy! Right after John was hurt, Riley brought him for a meeting with me and Ralph, the original designer. She clearly introduced Jeff Wigand as her brother-in-law. Huh? That explained a lot. If this guy was John's half brother, it would make for some real fireworks if he and Riles were once lovers. But obviously the old guy was loyal and caring to them. He was there when John was laid up and now again when Riley was in need.

John sipped coffee. "I'd still like a little more space here," he trailed his finger along a wall.

"It's a nursery, John. The kid's only going to sleep there. I hate to see you sacrifice your fireplace and some of the family room just for a baby's room."

"He's right, John. Babies grow up." Jeff chuckled then answered the screeching tea kettle.

RILEY

I was stuck in bed and it was my own stupid fault.

I was only starting my sixth month and already starting to show, my belly stretching against my own sweats and my jeans were completely out of the question, so snug it hurt to snap and zip them. We'd gone shopping for some preggo slacks before we got home. I figured John's tee shirts would suffice for the tops, but John had his doubts, insisting I buy a few maternity blouses while I was at it. Christ, how big will I get?

When we got back from the west coast, I did my mandatory resting then thought I'd take a walk. Just a stupid walk! No jogging, no working. We'd been gone for three weeks and I thought it would be nice to visit with everyone, meet the new guests; after all, that is one of the perks of being an innkeeper, new and interesting and occasionally bizarre people right under your own roof.

I was heading down stairs, taking the three stories of steps carefully as John was walking up, no doubt to check on me. I grinned and he didn't.

"Were ya going?"

"Just wanted to take a walk, John. Say hi to everyone. Trust me; I have no interest in doing any work. I thought I might go out and sit at the gazebo for a while, it's so pretty today. Can you join me?"

He stood on the landing and smiled up at me. God sakes, he was going to be a proud papa. I stepped down to the next step and I have no fucking clue what happened. My ankle twisted with a sharp pain and I dropped then rolled right into his outstretched arms. What a fiasco! Panicking staff, an ambulance ride and all for a damn sprained ankle! Not even broken.

So, it looked like my prescribed bed rest was starting early. Doctor Conklin didn't want me straining with crutches and John was fucking beside himself. Walking me to take a pee (which I seemed to need to do every five minutes), watching me like a hawk. He was on the phone constantly, talking with every single department we have and trying to keep things moving smoothly from the third floor. It took everything I knew to try and convince him that I'd be fine alone. Good Lord, he was even considering moving us to one of the suites in the left tower first floor.

"No! This is our home. I want to stay here!"

Pulling his ear piece out and hanging up the cell phone permanently connected to his person, he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Baby, we need to get some help with this. I got an idea."

"Shoot."

"I'm thinking I need a mommy-to-be babysitter."

"Now that's just insulting," I huffed.

"No, no really. It's a good idea. Let me make some arrangements and then I can get back to the Inn's problems."

"John," I called to him as he left the bedroom. "There are no problems, only challenges. And. Ah. Can I lie on the couch? Please?"

With a groan he lifted me and settled me on the sofa. He turned on the television, set the remote, a box of cookies and cup of tea next to me then again turned to leave.

"John," I whined.

"Yes, dear."

"I want to watch Mystery Alaska."

He laughed all the way down the stairs.

JOHN

It was a good idea, and if I had the management skills Riley has, it might have worked. I figured I could get everyone on staff to take a few minutes, fifteen or twenty, out of their day to go upstairs and visit with her. Between housekeeping, kitchen and management, we had fourteen employees. That should be enough. Simple, huh? Nope. Seems no one had fifteen minutes to spare, not because they didn't want to, but because the restaurant and inn business is just so fucking unpredictable.

So I bit the bullet and invited Wigand. He was terrific, but it was uncomfortable as hell having him around so much. It seemed to freak out Kevin too. But all in all, Jeff was good for Riles. He entertained her, watched over her, and left the minute I showed up for the night. So, problem solved, right? Fuck no.

That tumble down the steps scared the shit out of me. She hit hard and rolled. I was sure the ankle was cracked, it was swollen twice its size before I even got her down to the lobby. Doc Conklin wasn't too thrilled either, checking her out carefully and giving me a hundred things to watch out for. Truth is; all I wanted to do was stay with her. Watch over her and sit with her. Feed her, well, just plain fucking coddle her.

Riley doesn't do coddle well. And God sakes, I certainly didn't have the time.

Aside from getting the new baby's room designed and built, I had an inn to run. Never in my life had I appreciated and respected Riley like I do now. How the fuck does she do it? Ten thousand things at one time needed attention. If Jeff wasn't there, they would have been carting me off to the funny farm the first week. I trudged through it, making the best decisions I could think of and listening to everyone's advice. Even Jeff's.

We were eating a late dinner in the kitchen, Riles sound asleep, well hell, it was almost midnight. Jeff listened to me ramble and nodded. Told me I was doing a great job then let me know how Riley was doing.

"She misses you."

"She misses the activity," I grunted and pushed my plate aside.

"No, she misses you." Jeff collected the plates and loaded the dishwasher. "Have you even talked to her lately?"

"What's there to talk about, Jeff? I can't tell her the shambles this place is becoming. Last thing I want is her worrying about it."

"But you are worried about it. It's simple actually," he pulled two beers from the fridge, getting way too comfortable in my fridge for my liking. "Business is a science, it functions by rules and people like rules."

"I don't need a fucking lecture from you, man," I glared.

"No, no of course not. That wasn't my intention, John. But I stand by my opinion that you need to find a way to spend more time with her. You get up here long after she's asleep. She needs your attention, your touch -- "

"You are crossing a line here, buddy. You have no fucking idea what my wife needs!"

Jeff stood to leave but I shot to my feet. I grabbed his arm, wanting a fight so bad I could taste it. He took my wrist and gripped it in his, then led me outside the suite. In the hall, I was pacing, fucking shaking, asking for it. When he took off his glasses to rub his eyes, I took my shot.

What the fuck was I thinking? Jeff's older than me, but he ain't that old. He had me pinned against the wall so fast I thought my head would spin. His forearm pressed against my chest and his face close, he hissed.

"Fuck John, get a hold of yourself! Get a hold of what's happening here!"

"Like what? I'm a fucking idiot putting you alone with my wife in her bedroom day after fucking day! Get the fuck out of here! We don't need you!" I struggled to free myself but he pressed harder.

"You don't mean that. You know better. I will never touch Riley again, she's a married woman and she's married to my brother. The brother I love. Now settle down, John. I have a solution, and I think it's a perfect one."

I settled but he didn't release me.

"Listen to me John. You're in way over your head with this place. Not because the two of you together can't do it, but one of you is bedridden." His pressure lightened until I was finally leaning against the wall, defeated.

"When it was you, Riley picked up the ball, but even she wasn't great with it. Together, you two are unstoppable, but separately you struggle. Riles has something you don't John. She has the ability to see where and how to get help. You never had that gene, brother. So now I am going to give you a lecture. Shall we go back to our beers? Or shall I go pack my bags?"

I ran my hand through my hair, sure that if I wasn't so fucking tired I could have taken him. As it was, he was right. I opened the door and we went back to the table and gulped beer. Finally I grinned and he chuckled.

"So, start the lecture, professor. I'm all ears."

"All right. John, you need to be here with her. Yes, you still need to do the things you normally do for the business, and you're just going to have to manage your time better. But as far as everything else, you are going to have to start trusting Andy more. That boy knows what he's doing. You're just undermining his authority in that kitchen by trying to do Riley's usual overseeing. It isn't your strength. Step away.

"Regarding the inn management, I've been sitting up here playing chess and wondering why we didn't think of this earlier. That again is not your strength. I understand the limitations of your staff. They're all wonderful people, but not business people and they never took on their responsibilities with the intention of running this place smoothly without leadership." He sipped beer and put on a pot of coffee, looked like I was in for a long lecture.

"So, now what? I guess I can contact a headhunter to locate the perfect executive manager."

"And to what end, John? No real executive management candidate will be interested in a temporary position in Vermont. Is it really your intention to permanently eliminate Riley's position? In the kitchen, an executive chef is just a manager, but for the inn, she carries the heavy load and she loves it. After baby Biebe arrives, I give her three months and she's going to be ready to lead the team again. Don't take her joy from her."

"Where you going with this? If I shouldn't hire an executive manager, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Find the perfect temporary solution, John."

"And where the fuck am I supposed to find that?"

"You're looking at it." I blinked and he continued. "I've managed departments far larger than this establishment. I can handle the challenges and the people. Nothing has to change here, no big culture shock, no rattled staff because Riley will be coming back to work and my only responsibility will be to keep this place running the way she likes it to run."

Fuck, and they say Nash is the genius.

Two hours later we had it all figured out and Jeff left for his room downstairs. I stripped and crawled quietly into bed.

"Did you hurt him?" Riley said softly.

I rolled over and settled my head on her breasts, my hand covering our baby in her growing belly. "No," I said. "He hurt me."

"Aw, poor puppy." She giggled and cuddled me. "What were you two talking about all this time?"

"Why aren't you sleeping?" I kissed a nipple then looked into her eyes.

"Christ, John. How tired can I be? All I do is lay here and sleep."

"That's good." Another suckle at that luscious nipple.

"What were you talking about till two in the morning?"

"We'll talk about that in the morning, I've got something more important to do right now."