JOHN

Hando and Mere's little one is a babydoll and I couldn't get enough of her. Nothing like the smell of a new baby, the soft skin, fuzzy head. Nothing on earth like an infant to put things into perspective and I was hoping Riley was finally getting my drift about taking things slower and easier. After all, it's what we want, right? A strong, healthy baby. I watched her hold little Ruth and thought my heart would burst. Since the moment I found Riley, I've wanted to give her that, an infant to hold and love. My personal little Madonna. The world was different then, we couldn't have it but now, with all the shifts again in the universe…blessedly we can. I was just hoping she'd catch my meaning about everything.

But by the time we got home from the hospital, she was still giving me the silent treatment. Needless to say, I had to approach this a little more carefully than normal. Hormones and all.

"Pretty little girl, ay?" I said while she made a pot of coffee. She barely grunted agreement. "Baby, come on. What the hell did I do? I missed you, that's the only reason I went to get you at the airport." Man, I was already groveling. I just can't fucking stand it when she's like that.

"No, John. You're doing that possessive, overprotective thing again and you know it. Don't you see how crazy that makes me?"

She was finally looking at me and the fire in her eyes was almost worse than if she'd shouted.

"Sorry."

"Why the hell do you do that? Have I given you any reason to think I'd be foolish or do something dangerous? Aside from the stupid thing with that madman, I've been careful. Really careful! Jesus, you are driving me nuts!"

And there was the shout. Felt like she'd cracked me across the face. All I could do was shrug. Not good.

"I want you to see someone."

"What?"

"You need to talk to someone. A therapist. This is out of hand, John. I can't take it anymore!"

Was it that bad? What the hell was I doing that made her think I was…

"It's out of control," her voice finally softened and she sat at the table. "I know you're scared but John, I'm not. I need to be happy about this…about the fact that I'm healthy and the baby's healthy…I need to believe that this time it's going to be perfect. I just need to! Your constant vigilance is starting to seep into my brain and I do not want to be like that…worrying constantly…and John, I don't want you worrying all the time either. It's not right. It's not good for you, or me…or the baby. Please tell me you'll see someone. Please."

Fuck, I didn't want to see someone. I couldn't see how I was doing anything so fucking bad. But, pregnant wife means compromise. The point was to do what's best for her. Okay, okay, I'd deal. "Who?" I asked.

"See Siggie. Call and make an appointment."

Fuck! She was serious. She went for the phone and handed me that doctor's business card, then simply walked away, went into the bedroom and left me alone. Decision time. Maybe I could do this to appease her. Even the fucking therapist would know I'm not being that overprotective. Yeah I made the appointment, anything for peace. And a kind look from Riley. Christ, what the hell had happened to us? We used to be right there, right on the same damn page. Now…

I went to the bedroom and there she was, a tear in her eyes and her arms out to me. Maybe it was not such a big thing. Maybe I'm just a little shaky since the miscarriage. Whatever it is we'll get through it.

We made love like it was the first time. Nothing like make up sex, but in truth, we really hadn't had a fight. It wasn't even a misunderstanding. It was something else. Damn if I'll ever understand. But having her in my arms, tasting and loving her, I felt pretty secure for the first time in a while. Maybe I just needed to watch over her a little more subtly. And oh yeah, I'd still be doing it. It's who I am.

Then she lowered the boom.

"Test time," she grinned as I cradled her close to my chest, warm from that afterglow thing as women like to call it.

"Huh?"

"Terry's gotta leave town again for a few days, and I promised Bridgid I'd stay with her tonight."

"You just got home!" I sat up, tried real hard not to glare.

"I know. But she needs some cooking lessons and I need to think about something other than how you're going to restrict me again."

"I said I'd stop. Christ, why do you have to leave?"

Her eyes twinkled. Yeah. It was a test. I helped her pack. At least this time she'd only be a half mile away.

When she left the Inn, I watched her corral Nat to join her too. Ah well, hens night out I guess.

BRIDGID

Damn it, I miss Terry. I really hope this feeling never wears off. Being head over heels in love, lust and everything that goes with is new to me but I see what all the hype is about. I'm not going to analyze why this never happened to me before.

Anyway, Nat and Riley coming over for my first cooking lesson will soften the blow. We're making Osso Bucco with Gremolada. Osso Bucco? It sounds like one of the characters on the Soprano's or something. "Hey, yo, Tony. First we gotta whack that son of a bitch, Oosso Buco, then we gotta move all of his gremolada into our off shore account in the Caymans." Ha! It was an offer I couldn't refuse.

Nat and Riley were bringing all of the things we needed to cook this up and I had to go to the store with the grocery list to pick up the goodies. I kept my eye on the butcher when I asked for veal shanks. I don't know what I expected but I was glad he didn't wrap up half a dozen baby cow penises for me. Shanks, yeah, Okay it's part of the leg. And ... What the hell is anchovy paste? Something Mister Limpet uses to brush his teeth? A tube filled with anchovies that have been ...eww! The rest of the ingredients were pretty run of the mill. Don't tell Riley but I chowed down on an order of Chicken McNuggets on the way back to the outfitters. Shit, what part of the chicken is a McNugget anyway? Chicken shanks? Someone please help me get phallic things out of my mind. Terry…sigh!

When the pair arrived we were like three squealing banshees. After culinary lesson and meal, Riley had both Nat and I convinced that a third bottle of wine would be the charm. Nat and I were shitfaced to say the least and carrying on like Prada had a scratch and dent sale. You know, I've never been the girly girl type before but these two rubbed off on me rather fast. I think I'm a repressed Donna Reed because I had a blast prepping the Artie Bucco..uh Osso Bucco. There was a lot of chopping and dredging, I got to do things to tomatoes that I found similar to beating the tar out of an arrogant perp. Maybe cooking was more therapeutic then anyone had ever imagined. Oh yeah, and the smells! Microwaving a Hungry Man dinner always fills the air with the essence of plastic and for the longest time I figured all food smelled like that and tasted like it had been marinated in the Great Salt Lake. Boy, was I wrong. There are flavors out there that are better than sex. I need a cookbook, that's all there is too it. Cans, jars and frozen dinners be damned. I will learn to cook if it kills me.

This evening was about to take a turn for the better. Riley was looking out the window one minute and the next thing I knew the three of us were rehearsing for Godspell. How was I supposed to know that being a girly girl meant I got to dance naked and howl at the moon? It was all fine and dandy until I lived up to my name. Bridgid is the Celtic goddess of perpetual and sacred flames. Damn my parents for not naming me after the goddess of deep tissue massage. There was a pop as a dry piece of wood split in the bonfire we'd built and it spit an ember right on my ass, hurt like a mother fucker.

"Shit, that's gonna leave a mark."

Riley and Nat found it amusing but neither of them had their hams smoked.

"I've been branded. Ow, ow, ow!"

Let's just say the little pile of snow in my back yard has an interesting indention right now. It's a death mask of my ass as it was before it was changed into the hind end of a heifer from the King Ranch.

"I smell bacon!"

I bet Riley and Nat would describe this event differently then me … but twenty-seven glasses of wine will alter a story some.

RILEY

Everything was cooking and it would take quite a while. We enjoyed a delightful meal, cleaned the kitchen and laughed like lunatics. I so enjoyed the time with them. Bridgid has a way of looking at the world so much differently than I do. Everything in her life seemed to make sense. She and Terry were perfectly suited for each other. I used to think John and I were like that. I'd come to wonder lately. Maybe it was just hormones, maybe it was just me. To me, life is a struggle to be perfect. Bridgid wasn't perfect and she was happy with that. I suppose none of us are perfect anyway. Perhaps it was time to get a grip on that reality. But watching her smile and laugh, I began to wonder how beautiful she was going to be in a white wedding dress. How her hand would look with that elegant diamond Terry bought for her. And I wondered when he'd ask her.

Then there was Nat, suddenly, fully alive in ways I'd never seen before. Bright and happy, completely in love. Uninhibited thanks to the copious amounts of wine, glowing and nearly one constant giggle.

We settled to chat at the kitchen table and I encouraged Bridgid to open a third bottle of wine. I was drinking soda, but those two were getting pretty damn snookered, as John would call it. In fact, I was getting a contact high from them, so I made a kinda goofy suggestion. It was something I knew John would got ballistic over, but John wasn't there….so….why not?

I stood at the back window and glanced outside. "Man, look at the full moon! It's gorgeous. I have an idea."

"Shoot," Bridgid said, sipping chardonnay and grinning while Nat examined the fort of sugar lumps she was constructing.

"Let's build a bonfire." I reached for my coat and they simply followed me out the door like trusting, chuckling puppies. We dragged wood and set up a perfect pyramid, large logs beneath, thinner twigs outside and nice, dry newspaper tucked here and there. See, three women, one pregnant and two very drunk, can still do anything! It lit wonderfully and we dragged Bridgid's summer lawn furniture from under the porch.

The night was warm for April, at least forty-five degrees. The sky glittered with a million stars and the biggest, whitest full moon I think I've ever seen. We sat and enjoyed the crisp air, the heat of the fire, our good friendship glowing right along with it. I tugged off my coat, then the heavy sweater I was wearing…then I got another idea. An idea so strange for me, I almost didn't let it clearly form in my mind. Something was happening to me there under that brilliant moon. I stood and stripped my tee shirt off.

"Uh, Riles, what're you doing?" Bridgid asked with a hiccup.

"I want to dance in the moonlight." I sat and untied my boots then tugged down my sweat pants."

"I guess we can't do this with clothes on, can we?" Nat giggled. To my surprise, they were both stripping too.

I tossed my sweats on the chair but sat and replaced my boots. The ground was muddy and cold. When I stood they were also butt naked and looking at me.

"Damn, you look like Demi Moore on that magazine cover," Bridgid laughed.

"I'm not that big!" I rubbed my belly and giggled. The land was so secluded, the moon so bright and my new found sense of adventure so intense, I raised my arms to the sky and shouted a hoot.

"Hey," Bridgid said, tying her boots tight. "We need music if we're gonna dance."

"Ohh babba mamma lay! Ohh babba mamma lay!" I stomped my feet and swayed.

"Wooly Bully! Wooly Bully!" That was the ex-Philly cop.

"An itsy bittsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini…that she didn't wear …" Nat chimed, spinning on her toes

I felt myself come alive! I spun and rolled my hips and laughed and laughed. Then suddenly Bridgid squealed. I turned to see her rubbing her butt.

"Damn! Spark got me right in the ass!"

"Well, we're not gonna kiss it. Go sit in that patch of snow," Nat guffawed.

"Okay," and she flopped. We howled with laughter then again began to dance again. My eyes were closed. I felt like a ballerina, a jazz dancer, something graceful and beautiful. Something free! It was amazing!

JOHN

When Terry called from Burlington airport, my first reaction was suspicion. "I thought you were outta town for a few days."

"Yeah, got finished quickly and wanna get back to Bridgid. Can't reach her at home. Can ya pick me up, mate?"

How come it was okay for Terry to do stuff like that, but when I do it, it's being overprotective? Then I got more overprotective. Where the hell were the girls? Riles said they'd be cooking at the apartment over the Outfitters shop. Maybe they needed groceries? They'd be back before Terry and I got there…right?

We didn't talk much on the drive from Burlington. I figured he'd gotten an earful about how 'out of control' I am and I just didn't care to get into it with him. He'd take Riley's side, anyway. He smoked and I drove and we were quiet. There was a good side to it all. With Terry home, I could bring Riles back to our bed where she belonged, ay. Looking forward to that.

At the front door, we pounded and pounded. That tightening in my chest got worse. Where the hell were they? Had something happened? Fuck, fuck, fuck. We heard a squeal from the back of the building and our eyes met. Terry nodded seriously and I followed, circling around the structure deep in the trees. Light flickered from around the corner and we settled in the darkness to get a clear view of what was going on. At first, my mind was fucking spinning, sure they were in trouble and we'd need to leap for the rescue. I was hoping Terry had his gun, God sakes!

A few more silent steps and I looked to Terry. The firelight was brighter there and I could see him break into a full grin, hear a quiet chuckle. I turned. Holy fuck! Riley, naked and glowing but fuck! She had to be freezing! I started to stand but Terry slammed an arm across my chest.

"What are ya doin' mate?"

"This can't be good for her!" I hissed.

"John, look at her. Look at them all. When was the last time you saw Riley so happy? And Nat? Fuck all, they're having fun. Fucking beautiful too."

I turned, let my butt thump onto the snow. They were beautiful. Glowing. Laughing…happy. Riley swayed and sang and the others followed. Good Lord, was my wife the ring leader? Where did that kind of adventurism come from? She'd been all business for so long…but not that moment. That moment I was looking at three of the most amazing, magnificent creatures on the planet. Couldn't help but smile. Natalie, less than a year from wanting to end her own life, giggling and dancing like a free spirit. Then there was Bridgid. Did my best not to stare at her, I'll tell you. Didn't feel like being pummeled by Terry. But damn…

Then I heard a click and turned to see Terry taking a photo with his cell. When he dialed, I nudged him.

"Can't let Jack miss out on this, can we mate?"

"I want a copy too, ay."

I turned back to the spectacle; they were dressing, probably cold, and dumping armloads of snow on the hissing fire. When they went inside, Terry and I went around and knocked politely on the front door.

No arguments at all, Terry was hugging Bridgid and Nat grabbed both Riles' and her own coats. No one said a word all the way to the Inn. I sent I wife up to our apartment and escorted a wobbly Natalie to Jack's suite, singing all the way.

Jack must have heard us because the door opened just as we walked up. I grinned at Jack's expression. Oh yeah, he got the picture Terry sent. When Natalie saw him, she warbled, "Helloooooooooo, Jack," and walked right up and laid a big, wet kiss on him that must have lasted several minutes. I stood back and heard a loud smack. Natalie grinned, started singing and wobbled into their suite.

"I thankee, John," he said, watching his woman weave pass him. Before I left, I heard him tell Nat that she'd be accompanying him to Maine for two weeks. Guess he wasn't letting her out of his sight for a while, ay?

I trotted upstairs, chuckling all the way.

TERRY

I knew exactly why she wiggled out of my arms when I dropped my hand to her arse. Poor baby was paying for the little escapade she'd been on with Nat and Riley. I bet her head would hurt more than her bum in the morning. This was going to be fun, mates.

I winked at John as he and the ladies departed, wondering how much Riley would tell him. I don't reckon Jack would say much to Nat about it but I'm sure he appreciated the photo.

"It smells wonderful in here. What have you three been cooking up?" Besides your tender arse, I thought.

"Artie Bucco," she replied with a slur.

"What?" Okeedokee she was a little more tipsy than I thought. I did notice the empty bottles of Chardonnay on the table. I bet she refers to it as Char something or other from now on. Bridgid was not a wine drinker that I knew of.

"You know, calves calves fried up and sauteed in stuff with a side of home made pasta. I didn't know pasta wasn't supposed to be brittle. Its made with semi, semi..semo..."

"Semolina?" I was laughing with her not at her.

"Yeah. Like the Native American tribe from Florida. The Florida State Semolina's are my favorite college football team. I had no idea they invented spaghetti."

"Right. Some day I'm going to take you to Florence."

"Is that your mother's name, Terry?"

"No, B. It's a city in Italy." I was scratching my head now. What happened to my intellectual beauty? Damn those girls! Then again, maybe Bridgid was just toying with me.

"What else did you do today, love?" How much would she admit to me?

"I went to the market, had a snack at Micky D's and I picked up the newspaper. What did you do today?"

I wondered if this was the right time to tell her. Ah, what the hell. "I had another long talk with Dino. I told him that I was going to cut back on the job."

"Why?"

Her eyes were suddenly clear and I could tell she was anticipating my answer. I couldn't hold back the smile when I told her. "So we could spend more time together. So I can stay here with you."

"So I don't have to worry about you getting your ass shot off in some third world country, eh?"

"Yes, B. That too."

"Good. Because I have something for you, Terry." She stepped away from me and went over to the key rack that was hung by the front door. When she came back she handed me two sets of keys.

She looked up at me and I could see she was prepared for the worse. "I'd really like it if you stayed here with me, Terry. I want this to be your home too."

I didn't hesitate for a second. "Yes. I'd love it more than anything, B. I love you." I threw my arms around her and tried to lift her up for a kiss but she shrieked in pain. "What's wrong, love. Did I hurt you?" I knew damn well what was wrong, but I didn't want to let on to such. It was kind of touching when she lowered her head and admitted the folly she and the girls had participated in.

". . .so that's what happened. I guess I'll never be able to say. . .now that really burns my ass. . .ever again," she admitted.

I couldn't stop laughing and it seemed to piss her off a little. "Love, no worries. I think it's great that you had fun with Nat and Riley. You just paid the price. Let me see it."

"No!"

"C'mon."

"No!"

"Please." Puppy dog eyes just slay them. Never fails me. The next thing I knew she turned around and hiked the back of her sweats down. "Oh my God, you'll never guess what it looks like."

"What?" her voice was a pathetic little girl whine. "Tell me, Ter!"

"It's a cross. It looks just like Bridgid's cross. I reckon you're arse is sacred now."

"For fucks sake. I'm going to go shower. Just, have a beer and read the newspaper or something. Okay? When I get back I'll show you what else I can cook." She waggled her brows at me.

"You mean besides your arse, love? Don't call me cheeky. It's far too predictable."

I was still laughing when I sat at the table to read but the humor turned to a bit of worry. Lots had happened here since I was gone. The headlines of the Burlington Free Press announced a rash of home invasions in the area. Christ's sake, there goes the neighborhood, my neighborhood since I was now officially living here.