JOHN

I sat across the scarred, stained coffee table from the old man while Terry fussed in the little kitchen area. He got the kids situated on stools at the cluttered counter then shuffled around a cupboard until he located the macaroni and cheese package.

Knowing what I know about aboriginal medicine men – way more than a normal guy would know mind you, between Grandpa Luke, Riley’s stuff and my days in Mystery – I tugged the cigarette pack from my pocket. Riles hated me smoking. When she quit, I tried real hard to quit too, but was always sneaking and lighting up when she was out of sight. There were only two smokes left in the pack. Probably a good time to try to quit again, ay? After all, I got the kids now all to myself and I should maybe watch my health a little better. It’s always appropriate to offer a medicine man some tobacco, so I set the crumbled pack on the table top and slid it across to Avis.

His eyes sparkled then he bowed his head in that humble way then tucked them into his flannel shirt pocket.

“So, Avis … what can I do for you?”

“It’s what I can do for you, nephew. I had me a long talk with an old friend of yours last night. Luke.”

Terry turned, his mouth wide enough to catch flies but I ignored him. “Luke.” I repeated.

“Yeah, he says you got yourself a nice place.”

“I do.”

“Where is it?”

Terry chimed in, obviously paying way more attention to us than to making the kids something to eat. “You had a long talk with … Luke … and he failed to tell you where John’s lives? I find that – ”

Avis turned to Terry. “Luke,” he interrupted. “He’s an old one. Real old, coupla hundred years, maybe more. Lakota I believe. A rare spiritual shape-shifter, but I’m thinkin’ you can’t really understand that.” The old man returned his attention to me. “Luke is on the other side; that means he’s everywhere and nowhere. You understand?”

I nodded, cleared my throat and sighed, recalling how Luke the bear saved my sorry ass and got killed in the process. “Vermont,” I said. “My place is in Vermont.”

“I hear it’s nice there, saw a television show about it one time. That’s where Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is made. Real pretty. Oh,” Avis’ voice altered, became softer. “I’m real sorry to hear about your loss, nephew.”

The pot in Terry’s hand fell with a thump and clattered on the floor. Poor Ter, he’s not so used to this stuff. Hell, who is? My hands were shaking but I wanted to ask a thousand questions. Terry had some questions too. He stepped closer to the wheelchair and glared down.

“How do you know these things? What do you want from us?” Damn, he sounded like he’d just gotten his ass kidnapped.

“Come with me, Mr. Thorne.” Avis expertly spun his wheelchair and led him to a room, but Terry didn’t move an inch before conveying with his expression that he thought we were in some serious danger.

I sighed and dug a small package of cookies from my pocket for the kids.

TERRY

He thought he had the upper hand, this old bloke. Thought that wheelchair would make him seem benign but I’m no stupid fuck just off the farm. This was as suspicious a situation as I’ve ever seen.

He took me into a room a few feet down a hallway. There were three beds in it, crowded and cramped but the room was neat and clean. He waved for me to sit. The only reason I did was out of respect for his age … and because I had my pistol tucked at the back of my belt. He wasn’t gettin’ the jump on me.

“You are a lost man.”

I glared.

“You’re here because you’re so lost, you have no idea where to be.”

“I’m bloody here to help my brother with his kids. Spit it out, Mister Keelut. What the fuck do ya want with us?” My head was calculating the amount of K&R insurance on me, John and the boys. It was substantial. We just might get out of this unharmed.

The old man shook his head slowly, sadly then sighed and pushed back his long white braids. “Put down the armor, Terry.”

At first I couldn’t believe what he said. Then I couldn’t believe I was hearing it from his mouth. I felt like my whole body was suddenly drained of blood.

“Who told you these things?” I hissed.

“Spirit tells all. You’re here because you have something to learn, but what you need to learn has nothing to do with what your brother needs to find. So, I’m gonna ask you to go out and chop wood. There’s a pile of logs out there that need quartered.” He turned the wheelchair. “Gonna be a cold night.”

Again, one of those dismissals I sure as fuck don’t like. I gripped the back of the chair and he turned. There was so much bloody compassion in his expression I let go.

“Axe is near the wood,” he said as he rolled away.

Leaving the cabin, I looked toward the boys then John. I think he got the message. He needed to be careful while I was outside … quartering logs.

JOHN

“Do I wanna be here? To do this?” I asked but I wasn’t sure what I was really asking. “I mean …”

“You want to know if this is going to be hard?” Avis shook his head slowly. “Nephew, you’ve had enough hard stuff to deal with. Besides, I’m not real sure I know what you gotta do here. Spiritual instructions don’t come with a how-to handbook, you know. All I was told was to take you in and be sure you were warm and comfortable and safe.” He snorted. “The safe part is covered.” His chin nudged toward the window and the twacking sound of axe against wood out there. “I do know one thing …” The door opened. “Ahh … Rod’s here. Did you bring Tam?”

Rod Keelut walked in carrying two loaded grocery bags, followed by a pretty woman of around thirty. Behind her … as expected … trailed Terry with a few more bags. Terry left again, one eye scanning to be sure nothing was askew, the other taking one more look at Tam’s behind. His face was red from the night cold and I could tell the majority of his agitation had passed. Nothing like chopping wood to burn off steam.

“John Biebe, this is my great granddaughter, Tammy …” he gasped and his eyes twinkled. “Oh … ahhh!” he gasped and his eyes twinkled. Suddenly everything seemed to shift, even the kids became alert and more interested in everything around them. Better than cookies, ay? Could just be because a woman was in the cabin. Kids always respond to women, and my boys especially love women.

I tightened the wool scarf Terry had tied around Michael’s waist to keep him safe in the stool and propped Nathan up next to his brother. Emptying bags I set items on the counter. Looked like Avis was planning to prepare a feast for dinner, or he intended to keep us a round for a while.“How can I help?”

“I wanna help too, daddy!” squealed Nathan and Tammy handed him a stack of forks and napkins then pointed to the round table.

“Set the table, little one.” And he did, real careful like his mom taught him with the forks straight and neatly right on top of the napkins, his little tongue peeking out from all that deep concentration. Watching made my heart ache, remembering how Riley always paid particular attention to the boys, treating them each so special. Hell, all I’ve been doing is making sure they survive. Stuff had to change.

Michael wanted to help too, but a nine-month old loose in that crowd was disaster waiting to happen, so I picked him up and took him for a diaper change. Laying him on one of the beds I looked down into his smiling face. “Hey buddy, you having a good time?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he squealed and pointed to the baby powder, in case I forgot to use it.

Outside the window, illuminated by the porch light, Terry chopped and chopped and chopped.

TERRY

That was one pretty Indian lady. Makes a bloke wanna chop even more wood to make sure a sheila like that stays warm. At least thinkin’ like that kept my mind off the fact that I was delegated to manual labor while John and the nippers were inside, maybe facing more danger than I even suspect.

Innocent-looking situations are always the worst traps and end with the most disastrous outcomes. Building trust is what this ploy is built on. Trap a woman with a couple of nippers then slather her with kindness and voila, the perfect kidnapping. But go after a man - in this case two able bodied men and one armed - with kids and it’s a little riskier for the kidnappers. Do it out in the middle of nowhere that there ya have it, the perfect crime. Already I had plans to hopefully, and from the inside, negotiate our release.

I glanced back at the cabin. Yeah, Tammy Keelut was a pretty lady, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t dangerous as hell. Women get close to the kids and …

It was enough for me to take action. I pulled my phone from a pocket, ready to dial Dino and alert him to the situation then looked up. Holy fuck!

There it was! So fuckin’ white, the moon reflected from its thick pale fur. I froze in position. The wolf was huge and real close, sitting five, maybe six feet from me, nice and prim like a proper trained collie, pink eyes taking me in. Slowly I reached under my jacket and to my back. Where was my gun? Fuckin’ gone? How could that be?

Holding my breath I brought my hand forward, poised and ready to defend myself. I made my knees soft, but it was sure I’d never outrun the animal. Remaining as still as possible, all I could hear was my heart thud in my ears.

The wolf stood and stepped closer, closer, even closer then sniffed the ground near my boots. Was I standing on something it wanted? I looked down to check. Nothing but crushed browning grass and a little mud. “Easy,” I whispered and those bright pink eyes shot up to see my face. Like a defiant child, it stepped closer, sniffed the laces of my boots then my jeans all the way to my knees. My eyes snapped tight, figuring any minute those sharp canines would be buried in my calf … but nothing happened.

Cracking one eye open, I noticed the animal had backed to its original position a few feet away. Then it did something real strange. The big white head tilted almost comically. After another few minutes that felt like an hour, it simply turned and trotted off into the darkness, turning back twice to check on me.

My phone slid from my numb fingers to the ground and I reached back again to search for my gun. It was exactly where it was supposed to be, tucked firmly into my belt, pressing against my back, teasing me. “What the fuck?”

The wolf was gone and something powerful washed over me. It was like a wave of shit I’d been ignoring forever that came rolling down. Riley’s voice whispered in my memories.

“Drop the armor, Terry. It just doesn’t serve you, you know.”

Every instance when she said those words flittered in my mind. Over lunch in Stowe. Long ago, back at the Temple at some family holiday where she did all the cooking. Warm and sweaty, alone in bed during those swapping, purve-y years. How many times had she spoken those words over the phone when I was uncharacteristically and painfully telling her things I never tell anyone? After the fuckin’ injury that took me out of the game. Sitting alone on the porch at the Inn and watching the sun rise. How many times? How … many … times? And why, fuck all, why, had I never let it get through to me?

What was I protecting myself from? Loving? Being loved?

“There’s a difference between being safe when you work and looking for danger where you live, Terry. Living isn’t a job. It’s life.”

She was standing on a hilltop the afternoon she told me that. It was only about six months ago. Six short months … and now she’s gone. We were looking out at Stowe below and she whispered it so softly I could hardly hear her. Maybe I didn’t want to hear her.

Oh, I wanted so much to feel like she described, like she was – alive, whole, open. Sure, what human being doesn’t want that? I just didn’t think she understood how I’m wired, what makes me tick.

“Terrence Ira Thorne, stop acting like you can fix everything!”

Slowly I lowered to my arse. That voice resonated loud in my head and it wasn’t Riley’s. That voice was my own mother’s. The agony of loss quadrupled at that moment, my chest ached so bad I thought I’d have a heart attack. Mum. Mum. She was the one I couldn’t protect. I was fourteen bloody years old and less than a month later, she was dead. Dad did some time in prison. Domestic violence and the drink. It was determined to be an accident but I knew it was comin’, sure as hell, I knew it was comin’. No one I loved was gonna be brutalized like that again. Ever.

Just a kid and I already knew two things. One, it was my job to protect them all. And two, I’d be sure to never be like my old man. There’s only one way to do those things. Just one. Stay apart, so I could be alert … careful. I’ve been wired that way ever since.

“Drop the armor, Terry. It just doesn’t serve you, you know.”

The pressure in my chest exploded into massive sobs that shook my whole body. Tears poured and time seemed to stand still. I swear nothin’ ever hurt so bad as what I felt, sitting there like that. No gunshot wound, no heartbreak. Nothin’. What a man loses, he loses forever.

“Living isn’t a job. It’s life.”

“It’s life.”

“Life.”

“I think I get it,” I gasped, catching my breath. “I think I get it, now.”

With a groan that could’ve come from an old bugger, I climbed to my feet and reached for the axe.

“Got dinner on the table, Mr. Thorne.”

I actually jumped. Bloody hell, Tammy Keelut was as quiet as the fuckin’ wolf. Running a sleeve across my eyes I reached for another log. “Be there in a minute.”

I chopped. She didn’t move.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just … uh …” No point in fuckin’ about. Not like she couldn’t see I was cryin’ like a little girl. I sighed. “I just … I just lost a friend. The best mate I think I ever had, actually. It just kinda hit me.” I whacked at the log and it split masterfully. I may be cryin’ like a nipper, but at least she could see I was a man with a little skill and dignity.

“John’s wife?”

I nodded. “Don’t think I realized what I lost until just now.”

She nodded sadly. “Grandpa told me about that.”

“When?” The suspicion was back but to my surprise, she grinned kindly and her eyes sparkled.

“Last night he called me.” She gathered blocks of quartered wood and tucked them into a large metal wash bucket. “He said a widower named John was coming with his kids and his brother. That he’d need some help.”

“That’s why you’re here? Because his premonition was correct?”

Tammy smiled. “Grandpa’s always had strange premonitions. Be nice to chalk it up to senility but sorry, he’s been doing this stuff all my life.”

“And what’re you here to help him with?” I almost hated to ask that question. Something in my gut actually wanted to believe this was all innocent … possible … maybe even positive.

“Mr. Thorne,” she groaned and gathered more wood. “My great grandfather is very old and an invalid. He has guests and he needs help to make them comfortable. Besides.” She stood and pushed back her thick black hair to look me square in the eye. “I don’t want to wait until he’s gone before I realize what I had.”

Ouch. “Touché.”

“Come on. Dinner will be cold or gone if we don’t get inside.”

I turned, checked the distance. “Did you know there’s a wolf out here?”

“There are always wolves around this place, but the big white one Rod mentioned, she’s new.”

“She?” I reached down to lift the heavy bucket of wood. “Fuck all, don’t tell me we got a protective mother to deal with.”

“Something like that,” she said with a grin, gripping the other bucket handle to haul with me.

My eyes were still scanning the darkness. “Is it safe?”

“Safe? She can do some damage, but that’s not what she wants. That wolf’s not here for you. She’s here for little Michael.”

I dropped the bucket and it slipped from her hands with a thunk.

“Michael? What the bloody hell?”

“Totum. Medicine. Spirit stuff. That wolf is here to get a look at little Michael. She’s giving him a gift. Who knows, maybe someday he’ll come back here to Alaska and use it. If not, it’ll protect him forever.” Her eyes moved up to mine, became so soft I felt like blubbering again. “So you won’t have to. You gonna help me with this wood or what?”

“Wait. Tammy. What do you do? I mean, for a living?” The suspicion was still tickling at the edges of my instincts, wondering what someone in financial desperation would do for money. We were out in the bum-fuck middle of nowhere. What could a woman like Tammy do to survive? Taxidermy? Guided tundra tours?

“Well, I went down to the lower forty and studied at USC. Education. I teach elementary school … when there’s work. Around here a teacher has to die before a position to opens.”

“You’re not working right now?” Why was I asking that? Funny how a man like me thinks – how deep into my work I’ve always been. It’s almost like I needed to find something bad going on, just so I could deal with things the way I know how to deal with them. Deep in my gut I knew there really was no danger, I just needed to know a few things about her. It wasn’t for me, but somehow I had to know.

“I substitute teach. Baby-sit on weekends and work the check-out counter at the Chelsea Supersaver. Why? Got a job offer?” She teased.

“No. Wish I did. Let’s get inside, getting bloody cold out here.”

“You should try it in February.”

JOHN

Dinner was hot and filling and actually delicious. The boys crashed, falling asleep on the floor near the fireplace, the brand new (obviously antiques of value and still in the box) matchbox cars Avis magically produced still clutched in their hands. They were fine, no worries there. But Terry? Something was seriously different about Terry.

Midnight, long after Rod and Tammy left and the old man retired to his room, Terry and I tucked the kids in one bed, then took the other two for ourselves. Odd, we hadn’t talked at all, not a single word, and even though Terry’s not a big talker, he’s a good listener but I had nothing to say. I noticed him standing at the window after shutting off the lamp.

“Wolf still out there?”

“Yeah. She’s still out there. Sittin’, just staring at the cabin. How do you get rid of something like that?”

“Uh, hey … Terry, it’s illegal to kill a wolf up here. Unless they’re rabid and killing your livestock – ”

“Or your family,” he interrupted but never turned to me.

“Or people, right. Otherwise, it’s a jail sentence, buddy. If it’s a female, she’s probably just protecting her pups. Don’t worry about her. Get some sleep. We leave tomorrow. I think … I think it’s time to go home.”

Terry climbed into his bed, turned to his side and propped his head on hand. “Maybe not. John, listen. The kids have been good. Better than good. All we’ve been doing is traveling so far and they deserve a little fun. It’s a holiday. Maybe we should see some of this Alaska?”

I shrugged, yawned. “Let’s head to Chelsea, maybe we can find a real estate place that rents out cabins by the week. They’d like that.”

“G’night, John.”

It was quiet but I knew he wasn’t asleep. “So … Tammy. Pretty lady, ay?”

“Yeah.”

“You maybe interested?”

Terry groaned. “G’night, John.”

“Seriously. What’s up with you, Ter?”

Silence.

“Eva?”

“What about her?”

“You gonna marry her or what?”

Another groan, this one more thoughtful. “Dunno mate. I know I asked her to marry me, but truthfully, the back of my brain kept wondering how something like that was ever gonna work, ya know?”

“What? Because of your work?”

“Yes … and no … more … because of how I am.”

“Give yourself a break, man.”

“G’night, John.”

***

Right on cue, just as we finished breakfast, Avis Keelut handed me a slip of paper. I hadn’t even told him we were leaving yet.

“Nephew, that’s an old friend’s number. He’s got himself a real nice cabin about fifty miles south of here. Rents it out. This time of the year it’s usually empty. On a lake. Come winter, with the ice-fishing, you’d never get it, but now …” and he smiled.