RILEY

Life’s a freaking seesaw and I was about to get jolted right off the damn thing. Is it just because it’s the holidays and I’m off guard? Or is it that things like this only happen around the holidays? Alright, I’m not a happy camper.

I left my rambunctious son, Terrence Nathan, in the care of his godfather and Eva and ran down to Stowe for a few things. Mr. K&R man should be able to handle Nathan and I had a mess of small errands to run. I wanted to take a few sandwich recipes for Gerry’s new cook, I needed to drop off our year-end books to the accountant and I had a big tray of leftover Christmas cookies for the Sheriff’s office. I was surprised to see Ben wasn’t there, but his officers certainly appreciated the sweets. At Kennedy’s Corner Pub, Gerry was trying to run a staff meeting when I slithered in through the employee entrance.

“Come on, guys. Have a heart. It’s New Years Eve for Christ’s sake. It’ll be our first chance to break even, maybe make a bit of profit. Gotta be good tips in it for you all.”

I sat behind him in an empty chair and looked at his staff. Six waitresses, two bartenders, the cook and his helper; the dishdogs and barbacks. Oh hell yeah, they all wanted to be doing something else on New Year’s Eve … but there’s a better way to do this. “Let me help you,” I leaned forward and whispered into Gerry’s ear.

“Be my guest.”

I stood. “Hey everyone. If every single one of you work here at Kennedy’s Corner Pub on New Year’s Eve … you’ll each get a free night next summer at the 1876 Manor at Mt. Mansfield. Is it a deal?”

They actually jumped at it. Gerry turned. “Ya didn’t have to do that … but I sure do appreciate it.”

I handed him the recipes and winked. “I don’t intend to pay for a drink in this place for the rest of my life,” I teased.

“For you, fine. If that includes John …” Gerry shook his head, he wasn’t stupid. I’m a cheap date; John’s a long haul drinker.

“Just me.”

Walking out I started to worry; fourteen staff members just said yes to my offer. We’d need to put a few restrictions on it but I think we can accommodate them, one at a time, throughout the summer without any obstruction to regular business. At least, I sure hoped so. Maybe I shouldn’t mention this to John?

My afternoon continued … to the post office, across the street to pick up the dry cleaning and finally I was heading for my car at the far end of the block. That’s when I spotted Carrie O’Brien … standing like a statue in the middle of the sidewalk. She looked pale and really confused and I felt my stomach clench. This wasn’t gonna be good, I just knew it.

“Carrie? Honey, you okay?”

She blinked, sighed my name then shook her head. “No.” She looked like she was about to wander off, but I gripped her elbow and steered her to the coffee shop. Two PM, nice and quiet. I ordered chamomile tea for my guest and double espresso for me. I sat and I watched her and I waited. She didn’t talk for a long time and when she did, I had to lean closer to hear.

“I didn’t even know I was pregnant.”

I gulped; tried to assess the mood. Took a stab at the appropriate response. “You’re pregnant. How … wonderful.”

“No.”

“No? No what? No you’re not pregnant or no it’s not wonderful.”

She finally blinked hard, got a grip and focused on my face. “Riles, I didn’t know I was pregnant … I started to, you know … bleed and it didn’t seem normal. My gynecologist for years is here in Stowe, so I came to see him and … I lost a baby.”

“I’m so sorry, Carrie.” My head was spinning, did Colin know about this yet? Was Carrie in shock? What did I have on my hands and should I call in reinforcements?

“That’s the problem, I’m not … sorry. It would have been disastrous.”

Tears filled her eyes and I patted her hand. “Ah, hon, I know things have been rough with Colin, but …” I swallowed back the next comment and watched the conviction in her eyes.

“There is no ‘but’. I couldn’t have ever had his child. My marriage is never going to work and realizing that I was pregnant has completely hit home for me. Maybe I’m a terrible person but I think I really need to think about survival here … and that can’t be with Colin.” She sighed deeply, pushed away a dribbling tear. “I promised him a year, Riley. A year … and I … I can’t do it.” She seemed to shake herself, square her shoulders and even her voice sounded stronger. “I received a job offer, a great offer; promotions for a company in Los Angeles. I don’t want to be around the NASCAR circuit anymore. I don’t want to be around drivers and their crazy, distorted ways of looking at things … I can’t do it, not any more and not even for the year I promised.” Her eyes overflowed with tears, this time unchecked. “I don’t want to be around Colin anymore … I can’t. I just can’t.”

Time for me to move into action. This was more than just learning a piece of bad news. It was more than sympathizing with a hurt friend. And yes, Colin had sure as hell hurt Carrie; in fact, I was amazed she even took him back in the first place. But there was something else to consider, and under these circumstances I was afraid no one else would see it. No one but me. I held Carrie’s hand then squeezed it tighter to get her full attention. She’d been crying softly.

“Listen to me, Carrie. Look at me and listen to me. I’m not taking sides here. Colin fucked up, big time and I’m not all that surprised it’ll end like this … but … someone has to stand and say a few things on his behalf. Under all his stupid shit, he’s a really sweet, really good man. I can see it doesn’t matter anymore and I can see it’s really and truly over. I’m not about to try to talk you out of leaving him. But don’t you dare just disappear. Don’t you dare.”

When Natalie left Colin, she was extremely emotionally unstable and simply vanished. Then she attempted suicide. Of course, none of it had anything to do with poor Col, but I swear he’s never really gotten over it. He and Natalie were not the best fit … he and Carrie, even worse. What was ahead for Colin could be a really rough road, but I wouldn’t allow Carrie to damage him anymore than the situation already dictated. Period.

Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard. “Oh, Riley. I didn’t intend to just disappear. I fully intend to explain it all to him … I just … I just can’t let him talk me out of it. I’m going to the courthouse right now to file for divorce. Maybe he’ll really know I can’t be swayed if he sees that. And … and … tomorrow I’m leaving for Los Angeles.” She stood and I felt like someone had beaten me up. “I love you Riley, love you all, but I just have to survive. I’m twenty-five and it’s time for me to … survive.”

I could barely breathe as I watched her leave the coffee shop. Something inside me hoped Colin would come to the Inn … not be alone after she dropped the bomb … that he knew where he was loved no matter what … and where he could find a little comfort through the difficulties. But knowing Col, he just might dig his heels in and try to get through it all alone.

It was still on my mind when I carried the dry cleaning up the stairs to my apartment. The door was blocked and I again held my breath. Now what?

“Darlin’, we gotta talk to you,” Ben said, his hand tight on Tracy’s and her eyes wide with concern.

I opened the door and waved them inside. Dropping everything on the sofa I sighed and slid out of my coat. “So … what’s up?”

“Ah … Riley …”

“Ben, just spit it out.” I admit I was starting to panic.

BEN

Damn, I heard she’d be mad, but I sure as hell wasn’t prepared for tears. She looked like she was about to cry. I drew in a deep breath and just spit it out. “We got married, me and Tracy.”

Riley blinked. “I know,” she looked like she might smile. She didn’t.

I turned to Tracy; maybe we’d get through this without blood. “You knew?” my wife squeaked.

“We all know.”

“Oh. Okay.” I thought a moment, figuring we could make a run for it, but something didn’t seem so right. “Riles. You alright?”

“Yeah, sure. But hey,” she said, finally lowering to the sofa like a very tired, old woman. “It’d been nice if you’d have let us all know. You are important to us, it might have been … considerate to share it with us, instead of going off like you were breaking the law or something.”

Tracy went to the kitchen and brought out a glass of water and I sat next to Riley. This weren’t right, not right at all. Something had the little darlin’ shaken. “What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t tell us.” She accepted the water and gulped. “No biggie. We all forgive you. Just … I dunno … don’t do this kinda shit again.”

Tracy and I exchanged a look. This sure ain’t what we expected. We thought maybe she’d have gone off the handle; maybe she’d have gotten all crazy happy or somethin’. Not this. “Something’s happened. Your turn to spit it out, Riles.”

She shrugged, looking like she needed to sleep, like she was in pain.

“Someone hurt you?”

“No, no, of course not. It’s just, the holidays. Things happen; new life, marriages announced, people starting and … marriages ending.”

“Not yours,” I almost choked, couldn’t imagine John and her partin’ ways.

“Of course, not mine. I just ran into Carrie downtown. She’s … she’s leaving Colin. Filing for divorce as we speak.”

“That racecar guy? The one that fucked up?”

“You’re one to talk about people fucking up, Ben.”

Yeah, she had me there; I looked down at my hands. Finally I saw her hand lay over mine, she reached for Tracy too and Riley looked at us.

“Hey, I’m very happy for you, really happy you finally said something about it. But about Colin … he’s had a rough time of things. I think he’s clean and sober right now … but he’s going to need us all soon. Don’t go all self righteous on him, Sheriff.”

I grinned, feeling sad inside. “You got yourself a soft spot for him, don’t you?”

“I’ve got a soft spot for all of you.”

RILEY

And my day got worse. I figured I was a bundle of nerves and damn, my period was probably coming! Why can’t I get pregnant, God sakes? But as of that moment … nothing. Then the phone started ringing. First, Richie.

“Hey Riles, I need something.”

I bit my tongue. Be nice, be nice. “What do you need?”

“I was just wondering, how long can I have my room here? You’re booked solid and I don’t wanna be a burden or anything. I was just thinking maybe I’ll set up a practice here in Stowe, ya know? This town really only has two lawyers.”

I sighed. Why did he need me to approve? “Sounds good.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, but until I can find a place –”

“Richie, honey, baby, sweetheart … you got a room here as long as you need it. Anything else?”

“Nope. Thanks.”

And another call. This time, Pullo.

“I have a problem and I’m thinking only you can help me.”

I rubbed my eyes. When did I become the damn go-to person? Why aren’t these people asking John or Maximus or Terry? “Shoot,” I groaned. He told me a long story I only listened to halfheartedly until it got kinda entertaining. Valerie caught him in bed with Christina Mayfair and now she wasn’t talking to him … Valerie, not Christina. “Pullo, buddy,” I interrupted his dramatic soliloquy. “I know Valerie’s a handful, but hey, she at that age, you know.”

“What age?” he said, sounding frustrated. “In my time, a girl Valerie’s age was preparing for an arranged marriage in the next year or so,” he huffed.

“Well, this isn’t your time. I have a suggestion.” And I spouted out what I thought might sound like good advice then lied about having to get off the phone, told him someone was at the door. No sooner had I hung up and … someone was at my door.

It was Terry, returning my son a good two hours early. He promised to watch him until after my staff meeting but, there he was, poor Nathan in his arms and sobbing. “What happened?”

“I think he’s got the sniffles, love. Sorry, just don’t know what to do to make him more comfortable. He wants his mum.”

“Thanks,” I scooped Nathan from his arms and fed the kid some baby Tylenol and put him to bed. Don’t remember Terry leaving.

Then it became quiet … really, really quiet. So quiet it was scary. I stood in the middle of my living room and listened to it, just waiting for the next onslaught of family wanting something.

KIM

I had a nice few moments with Lachlan this morning. I’d stopped by the house to pick up some clean clothes and check my mail before headin’ into work. It was early and the sky was still dark as pitch. I unlocked the front door and the smell of fresh brewed coffee snapped my mind awake. 

I found Lachlan sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper, looking every inch the father of a newborn nipper; hair stickin’ out in all directions, a couple days stubble and the tell-tale dark circles beneath his eyes.

“Mornin’ mate. You look like shit.”

He reached for his cup and took a sip, still managing to crack a small smile as he swallowed. “Bugger, you don’t know the half of it. Who knew that babies needed to be fed every few hours?”

I went over to pour a cup of coffee for myself and sat across from him, moving aside a package of disposable diapers from my chair and settin’ them on the seat next to mine. “I’ve heard it gets better.”

“She’s the most beautiful baby in the world, but she’s wearing out her mum and dad. Poor Jess; she says she feels like she should start mooing.”

“Welcome to family life, mate. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted; the nice big house, the beautiful wife and enough ankle biters to fill every corner?”

“Right now Jess and I would just settle for four to five straight hours of uninterrupted sleep. By the way, what brings you here so early? Emily get sick of lookin’ at your sorry arse?”

I grinned at the mention at Emmie’s name. “She’s very fond of my arse, thank you very much. I just needed a change of clothes. Did Jess mention that I’m lookin’ for my own place?”

“I thought you’d be settlin’ back in with Emily?”

“We’ve decided to take it slow, and it’s time for me to be a responsible adult. You know, New Year’s resolution and all that.”

Lachlan made a sniffing sound and wiped his eyes with his napkin. “Looks like our boy’s growin’ up.” 

“Bugger off.” I chuckled, pushing my chair back from the table and standing. “I’m tired of finding packages of nappies sittin’ around everywhere.”

Lachlan grinned and went back to his paper as I headed down the hall to my room. I caught sight of Jessie’s cat, Kahlua, waitin’ at the door for me, his eyes all lit up like some radioactive death ray, his tail twitchin’ as if he was up to no good. The bloody bugger and I’ve had a love/hate relationship ever since I moved in, but I reached down and gave his tail a gentle tug in greeting for old times’ sake.

“Let’s not waste time with formalities, mate. We’re well beyond pretendin’ that we like each other.”

The big cat started purring and rubbed up against my leg. I reached down to give him a pat but he was having none of it. The demented bastard arched his back and gave a loud hiss, swatting at my hand before he darted back down the hall, disappearing around the corner in a blur of fur and the sound of more hissing. I overheard Lachlan exclaim, “Bloody hell!”
 
I chuckled to myself as I quickly changed clothes, sitting down on the edge of my tiny bed afterwards to put on a fresh pair of boots when I felt something inside that shouldn’t have been there. A careful inspection as I reached my hand inside and pulled out a battered catnip mouse. Bloody hell, I think the fury bugger just gave me his version of a going away present.

COLIN

I felt it coming, building up like a storm even before she opened the door and hoped it would blow itself out before she stepped inside our room. Problem is, things haven’t been really calm for a while. I’m not sure when it all started; in the beginning nothing seemed impossible. Carrie was there to share it with me and everything we wanted was at our fingertips. Then it all got bigger than life. 

I didn’t have time to prepare and to be honest; wasn’t expecting it to happen, not yet anyway. I fooled myself into believing that I could put us back on track, could make Carrie happy again and win back her respect. But there was something in her eyes when she came back from Stowe, and her first words as she closed the door behind her caused my gut to grip tight.

“Colin, we need to talk.”

Talk. Every bloke understands the seriousness of that word when coming from a woman. My mind raced and made a quick inventory; but what was about to be discussed had less to do with my behavior over the past week and more with something looming larger. I knew.

She went over to one of the big armchairs and sat on the edge of the cushion, her eyes meeting mine with a familiar sadness. I gave her my full attention and my stomach gripped even tighter. “Everything go okay in Stowe?”

She took a deep breath and sighed, her lips pressing into a tight thin line. “I know that I told you I’d give you a year, but I think we both know that we’re only prolonging the inevitable.” 

She certainly didn’t mince words. Once thing about Carrie; she always clearly speaks her mind. My own mind, however, seemed to flail about and I struggled to find the right words. “Carrie, I know I hurt you, but we can make this work. I want it to work.”

She seemed resigned. “We can take the year and pretend that things can maybe go back to the way they used to be, but it wouldn’t make much difference. I wasn’t ready to accept the truth myself, and maybe I was grasping at straws and hoping that I could allow my heart to erase everything that’s happened between us, but something happened while you were … away … and I’ve finally realized that in that time, I changed.”

“Changed? What’s that supposed to mean?” Bloody hell, I was the one who was supposed to be doing the changing. What gives her the right to switch the rules all of a sudden and decide that it’s okay for her to change? Change into what?

She held her ground, I’ll give her that. “It means that maybe you were right and we should’ve just realized that we’ve gone about as far as we can go before we end up destroying each other.”

Or before you destroy me. She didn’t say the words and I appreciated her trying to be kind. Problem was, I realized it was the truth and felt ashamed for not seeing it first. Destroy her, I nearly did. No one wants to stand by and suffer while their husband’s out spending time with other women. Why did I do it? Hadn’t she always been there for me? How could I have been such a heartless bastard?  She could have retaliated and found comfort elsewhere, but she stayed true. What kind of man am I?

“It doesn’t have to end this way. We still care for each other …”

“Maybe I’m just starting to realize that I care for myself a little bit more,” Carrie sighed.

“I’ve never stopped caring for you.” Just stopped caring as much as I should have, which I conveniently neglected to add.

She gave a low laugh and brushed her hair from her forehead. It was then that I noticed that she’d taken off her wedding ring and I forced myself to look away.

“I think we’ve gone just about as far as we can go together. We’ve shared some wonderful times, don’t think I’m ignoring all the good things, but tell me honestly; are you really happy? Is our staying together the one thing that will make everything good again?”

My head throbbed. I could hear muffled voices out in the street and I wished I could change places with whoever was out there. And I lied. “This is what I want; to be with you. For us to stay together and work this thing out.”

Another sigh. “I can’t do this anymore and I’m really sorry for not realizing it sooner. It would have been easier just to run away while you were out doing your thing, but I kept hoping that somehow I’d be able to reach you and …”

“But you did reach me.” I was halfway out of my chair and ready to kneel down at her feet, but she held out her hand to stop me. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”

“It’s not enough. You strayed from me so quickly. Whatever you needed, whatever you still need, I’m not the one who can give it to you.”

“Carrie, I offered to give up racing but you were against it. I committed to stick with it only because of you.”

“You wanted to quit racing because you were frustrated and were forgetting about all the folks who were depending on you. The mechanics, your pit crew … if you just upped and quit who would pay their bills while they tried to find other jobs … or until Hando could find another driver? You can’t just walk out like that when you have people depending on you. It would have been devastating.”

“I would have looked after all of them!” 

“It was selfish at that moment and you know it. I wanted you to stay with it because it was a knee jerk reaction at the time.”

“And what you’re doing right now isn’t?” I was trying real hard to see her logic, but it wasn’t coming.

“Colin, I went into town today to see the doctor. Do you know why?”

I shook my head and waited. But what she hit me with next brought me to my knees

“I had a miscarriage. I was only about six weeks along, but the doctor confirmed it.”

“Oh Carrie …”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. But it helped me to realize that this is not what I want for myself any longer.”

I just couldn’t find the words. I wanted to take her into my arms and be the strong one, to make everything right. But I choked and said and did nothing. 

“Colin, please. Let me go without a fight. If I leave now, we can still have some goodness left between us and I don’t ever want to look back and feel regret. I’m gonna be okay.”

“Where will you go?”

“I have something waiting for me in California. I’ve accepted a position and I’m leaving tonight. I also stopped at the courthouse and filed for divorce this afternoon.”

“You certainly were busy for someone who just lost a baby.” I hated myself the moment I said it and was even more ashamed when I saw her wince as if in pain. But she forgave me. God help me, she still forgave me.

“I know you’re upset, but when you think about it after you’ve calmed down you’ll realize that I’m right.”

“Carrie, I never intended to hurt you.”

She nodded and rose from the chair, her eyes soft but dry as she came towards me. “I know you didn’t. And think I’ll always love you.”

I reached for her, and she didn’t pull away.

Three hours later, I stood in front of the house I never really got to share with Carrie and watched her get into the cab I insisted on paying for and make her way into Burlington airport.
 
PULLO

Valerie had stormed from the house this morning, running for the school bus without even a farewell. Riley was right, Valerie was growing up and forming her own opinions about what was right and what was wrong. I just can’t see how I was so bloody wrong, having met a woman to love. I waited for the bus after school and of course, Valerie wasn’t on it. I had a chat with the driver. He’d dropped her off near the winery. I hate when she hangs around that construction and quickly climbed into the truck. Finding her sitting alone near the frozen stream, I sat beside her. Didn’t speak a word, simply waited.

Valerie ignored me then stood and turned to walk away. I gripped her hand and pointed to the bench. She groaned and finally sat. She was a child, I was her father. She at least knew enough to obey a direct order, even if it was unspoken. Then, she began talking.

“You should not –”

“Wait,” I grunted. “This is the time when I speak and you listen. Understood?”

So far, Riley’s advice worked like a charm, now to implement the rest of it. Valerie was blinking, almost ready to cry, but it was my turn to state my case … not defend myself … simply ‘tell it like it is’ as Riles had said.

“Young lady, you want to be like a young lady, it’s time for you to act like one. Growing up mean’s listening once in a while. I have done nothing wrong; nothing to apologize for. I do understand that the … situation … may have made you uncomfortable but to punish me all this time over something that’s simply a part of life … it’s bloody unfair and frankly … immature. Do you understand, Valerie?” I was getting cold, sitting there like that and I could tell she was shivering too. I waited. We were not leaving that spot until this was resolved.

“Is it my turn to talk?”

I nodded.

“Daddy, it made me super uncomfortable. It was embarrassing. But I’m not trying to punish you or anything like that.”

Finally, she looked at me and I could see tears building in her eyes. I almost broke; folded, begged forgiveness. I didn’t, just nodded for her to continue.

“I … I … Daddy, I just don’t know how to be after seeing that. I mean, I know Mommy’s gone; I know you should meet another lady and fall in love and everything. It’s just that … I was kinda hoping I could be part of your choice. Now I know I won’t be and it makes me feel real alone. I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. I just don’t know where I fit with you anymore.”

Damn! Why didn’t I try to have this conversation with Riles in the same room? I had no clue where to go from there. I just opened by mouth and words came out. Bloody wrong words or right words, I had no idea. They were coming and I couldn’t stop them.

“My little love, I’m sorry, but the truth of the matter is that I never thought about it. I met a woman, I like her, might even get to love her. I just didn’t think it would be such an important thing to you unless I was sure. I don’t really know if Christina is going to be part of our lives or not yet. For now, I am just learning, exploring. But you? Valerie, you? You are my life. Nothing fits until it fits with us both. Perhaps it was bad judgment on my part, but I was just attempting to figure out if Christina might be someone good enough to join the team. We’re the team, little love, You and me. No one gets in without your opinion, you know. But … when I fu – uh … screw up, you can’t be cutting me off like that. It hurts.”

It all worked out. That evening, even Skinner was nodding approval. The storm had passed and at least I had some clear footing as to how to proceed. Now … on to Christina. Perhaps I should talk to Riley and ask her how to approach that?

JOHN

Well, I had a fucking great day! Twice a week during the season, I work ski petrol on Mansfield. Love the skiing, love the activity, but most of all; I love it because it’s different from my everyday, endless insanity of the Inn. Lotsa times I try to talk Riles into coming up to ski with me, but I’m starting to think our play times together are over … outside of the bed, that is. She’s steeped in running this place and she’s so fucking good at it, who would even try to talk her into doing anything else? I got home, figuring to find a nice hot meal and Nathan waiting to greet his daddy like always. Got some surprises.

No dinner. Poor kid was sick, sleeping at five o’clock, all sniffles and a little feverish. But you know kids, they get over this stuff. Nathan wasn’t my concern. It was Riley. She was sitting on the sofa, in the dark, not even the television on and holding a mug of coffee. Fuck, she looked lost, all still and quiet like that. Oh-oh.

She was edgy and sharp as a knife and before I even opened my mouth I knew this day hadn’t gone so well for her. She told me about all the little dilemmas she’s dealt with and to be honest, it didn’t sound to me like anything outside of the usual. I just listened and watched.

I like to think I’m good at this, at figuring out what’s got her panties in a knot. I knew for a fact, it sure as hell wasn’t me. So I listened. But you know women, especially wives; they only tell us a little part of everything and leave us puzzle out the rest. At least I could tell she wasn’t pissed about anything, just kinda worn thin. The tears floating in her pretty dark eyes were probably for Colin. But …

I know she wants to always fix everything and wants to always be there to help everyone … and I also know we’ve been trying to get pregnant again. It’s only been a few months, but I think Riley imagines herself to be some kinda super fertile womb woman or something. She has a doctor’s appointment next week. I can count on my fingers … and I know she’d just seen Doc Conklin about four months ago. Those gynie appointments are once a year. She keeps saying it’s a regularly scheduled thing, but I’m pretty damn sure that the poor doc was going to get an earful of worry from my wife. Sometimes you just gotta let art flow, right? We’ll get her pregnant. It ain’t like we don’t know how. No need for being so concerned, God sakes. Trust me, I wasn’t about to approach the subject first, or go at it quite that way either.

But watching her, I had a pretty clear idea that it was more than just concern over not getting knocked up fast enough. She was feeling a little pressed, like she was at everyone’s beck and call. Even mine, no doubt. That, I could handle. I knew exactly what to do.

I sighed, knelt at her knee while she sipped coffee and I touched her cheek. I watched her draw in a deep breath and force a nice smile. “What do you need, John?”

“One thing, baby,” I said, real soft. “I need to know what you need. What can I do for you, Riles.”

That did it, the tears flowed more freely and for a few minutes there, I really thought the moment would turn into some hot time under the sheets. But Nathan cried from his bedroom and I donned my shining armor. “I got it. You just relax.”

The baby was fine, just a little thirsty. He drank some water and fell right back to sleep. When I got back to the living room, Riles was sitting at her laptop. Odd, I almost never see her do that anymore. I stood behind her. “Everything okay?” She turned and shocked the shit outta me. Sure, I did and said the right thing, but the way she looked now was almost manic. I mean five minutes ago she was crying; now her smile could have lit up a whole town. “What?”

“John,” she said, almost breathless. “Do you remember … I told you about when I went to Amsterdam? Ten years ago? And I met a woman?”

“Kinda.”

“Her name was Jackie, remember?”

I nodded, pretending like I knew who she was talking about. I didn’t.

“God, John! I haven’t heard from her since … well, since before we bought this place! I just got an email from her! It was on an old email address I never even use anymore. Something just told me to check it! Isn’t that crazy! She sent it like an hour ago!”

“That’s great,” I said and I really was happy. Seeing her smiling like that made me happy. “What did she have to say?”

“She misses me!”

“Sweetheart, why don’t you invite her here? We’ve got a small block of rooms held for special situations. You think she might want to visit Vermont?”

“Don’t know. I’m asking her right now.”

Well, look on the bright side, maybe it wasn’t me that made her so happy … but at least she wasn’t freaking out about not being pregnant or how to help the next person calling for advice anymore. Now … Jackie … Jackie … who the hell was Jackie and why don’t I remember anything about her from Riles? Shit. Probably another one of those times I wasn’t paying attention. This could be trouble down the road for yours truly, I just know it.
 
EGAN

“You know the rule son; no dessert unless you eat your dinner.”

Jacob scowled as he looked at his cheesy broccoli, moving the bright green florets around with the tip of his fork. “I hate broccoli.”

It’d been a long day. I spent the mornin’ installing cabinets in the kitchen of Skinner’s farmhouse and come afternoon I was re-hanging drywall in the attic. I was tired and wasn’t in the mood for argument. “You liked it well enough last night. Come on, eat your broccoli and we’ll call it even on the meatloaf.”

“I want ice cream.”

I put down my own fork and looked him straight in the eye. “Broccoli first.” I’d probably have let him get by with eating two or three bites and then allow him have his dessert, but what he did next surprised me.

He looked me dead in the eye, speared a piece of broccoli with his fork then threw it across the kitchen. “I don’t like broccoli!”

I sat there for a moment, stunned by Jacob’s outburst. He’d been a bit testy over the past couple of days but he’d yet to be purposefully disobedient. “Young man, I think you just blew any chance of dessert.”

“NO!”

I got up from my chair and reached over for his plate. “I want you to go to your room.”

His voice came out in a high pitched wail of protest. “I want my ice cream!”

“Bedroom. Now.”

His whole face seemed to crumble, big tears already spilling from his eyes as he pushed his chair away from the table with such force that it tipped over. “I hate you!”

Okay, knee jerk reaction told me to go after him and take a hand to his bare bottom, but I’d been noticing a change in his behavior over the past week and realized that there was more going on than just a mere tantrum. Until recently, Jacob had been a well behaved boy, but maybe the honeymoon period was wearing off. I placed his plate in the sink and put the toppled chair back to rights. Jacob’s fork was lying on the floor with the tines tucked underneath the refrigerator and when I bent down to get it I heard the sound of thumpin’ against the wall. It got harder and faster and I went into Jacob’s room to investigate.

He was sittin’ on the floor wedged in the space between his bed and the dresser, rocking back and forth, the back of his head hittin’ hard against the wall behind him. “I want you to get up and brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, then right into bed.” He continued to ignore me and started rockin’ faster, his head hittin’ harder against the wall.

“Now.”

He stopped and jumped up from the floor, darting past me where I stood in the doorway.

“Don’t dilly-dally. I want you in bed in five minutes.”

“Fine.”

I was just about beyond irritated. Willful defiance, temper tantrum, talking back … did aliens come and abduct my son? “Watch your tone.”

His reflection in the mirror glowered at me as he began to brush his teeth. I watched him, waiting for the next outburst, but thankfully it didn’t come. When finished in the bathroom, he marched back into his room and got into bed.

“I’ll check on you after a bit, but for now, I want you to go to sleep. You got school tomorrow.”

I could tell that he was pretendin’ to ignore me as he rolled his back to me, but when he made no move to do anything else, I turned out the light and went back into the kitchen. After finishin’ up the dishes, I sat to watch the news, my ears on the ready and listenin’ for any sounds from the bedroom. When I went to check on him an hour later, he was sound asleep.